Because we? Are so not in high school anymore. You know the friend... the one who is ALWAYS in negative crisis, who always needs 'someone to hug them and understand,' the one who's always depressed or down. Not because they've 'hit a rough patch' or are 'in a funk;' but because they ARE the funk? Yeah, that person - we all know them. The ones that can't ever snap out of it and learn to laugh at the inane, slightly short-bus, or less-than-perfect/desired things that happen in life.
So, at what point do you draw the line and say, "THIS is who they ARE; who they choose to be and their negativity? Is a suck of all the positive energy around you?" I think there's a balance, to be sure - Goodness knows I've hit rough patches where I'm sure I sucked all the fun straight out of the room. I'm glad I had friends around who were there to call me on it. And I think that's maybe where the difference is between the 'drama queens' of the world and those that are just in a rough patch - when you're called on it, what do you DO about it? Do you self-reflect and make changes; or do you 'feel attacked' and continue to whine and bitch about your lot in life?
This to me leads into a more esoteric discussion about fate vs. free will. I believe that we are, to a large degree, the uncontested author of our own lives. God may have set the beginning and the end; but he gave us the ink to fill the space between. So, if there's something that isn't going right in my life, or if I don't like the direction - it's up to me to change it. If I want happiness, I have to MAKE it - or find it for myself. It's not something that was predetermined for me or handed on a platter.
As I get older, I find that I have less patience for people who want to continue to blame their lot in life on their parents, their job, their old boyfriend, ex-wife, etc. Seriously? Your life is a mess because your job sucks? But really, if your job sucks, there's another one - it may take some time to find it and so yes, we need to give our friends grace to figure that out during that time. But there's got to be a window - if you choose to continually stay in the circumstances that are making you unhappy, you have no right to bitch.
And if you do, then you have to understand.. there's going to come a day that your friends are going to cut you out. Not because they don't care about you, but because your drama dampens their bliss. Because we're NOT in high school anymore and most of us understand that if you don't like your life, there's the ability to change it.
For those who know me, are getting to know me, or want to know me? There's my thought process. I'm happy to listen to anyone having a problem, and I want to be a friend; but, if you're always in 'crisis' or you're constantly negative... don't call me about your drama unless you want to get a little dose of reality. I'm not a therapist - and I'm probably going to tell you to suck it up, deal with it, or move on.
I may have all the empathy in the world for the fact your marriage sucks, but if you're married? I'm not going to date you - if you 'don't have love and miss being held?' - see a marriage counselor or go get divorced. But don't look to me to fix your life. If you are continually high maintainence around me and cause drama wherever you go? I'm going to apologize for the harshness now, but we're probably not going to be hanging out. If you are a crappy friend because noone's ever been nice to you and the world is always screwed up? Sorry Eeyore, either learn to love the rain and mud or buy an umbrella....
And now? I'm going back to sleep. :) As always, feel free to share your views on the subject if you'd like, either in comment or by messaging me...