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Saturday, September 30, 2006

Myspace Migration: Slow Saturday Night

I'm having a pretty decent Saturday. Was REALLY sleepy and lounged around a good part of it, but that's ok. I know what I'm going to be now for Halloween - I think it's going to be crazy funny. Now, I'm back home; I picked up some dinner to go from Jaspers (peach barbeque pork tenderloin with bourbon corn and a little twice-baked potato), poured some good wine and I've got some movies running in the background (ok, well just one at a time, but I figure I'll probably have more than one in this evening). Ate by candlelight, again, with just me. I don't care, I like the ambience and I'm all about proper ambience. Slow pace this evening ... but it's cool.

I got nailed this afternoon by a comment from a friend. He pointed out that I've become an expert in shutting relationships down before they begin... to the point that it's almost like it's either sport or safety mechanism. I know it's not sport, so that leaves safety mechanism. Hmm.. not really the first time this has come out, I just get lost in my life and forget the patterns. But, I don't want to be the "ice queen" - so, I guess I need to start paying more attention before I shut 'em down. Although, I still say there's nothing wrong with being particular and you can't force connection - it's either there or it's not. I'm not the only one who's like this.

At James' thing, some of us were talking about being "relationship guy/girl" vs. being a "hooker." Of course, we weren't referring to getting paid for sex (or even having sex, really)- it was more about not being in a space where emotional attachment was really going to happen. And they're phases, sometimes we're in a "relationship phase" and sometimes we just want to have fun, thus the "hooker phase."

I think I'm somewhere in between the two phases right now... I'd LIKE to have a relationship, but I'm still somewhat skittish of the chameleon male and putting myself out there, so I'm being picky and just going out and having fun getting to know people. Maybe I've been a little too picky, though... even Dad mentioned I'm able to kncok them out faster than anyone he knows - and I don't think that's really how I want to be defined. And I want 'comfortable' again - so, I'm going to just have to work on being more available to the man/men/whatever I'm getting to know.
Walking 9 miles in the morning. Fun. I'm still waiting on medical clearance to do this.. I'm hoping it comes through by the 10th, but I need to be well before the Doc'll do it.

I want to find some good music to listen to this evening... in the mood for soul-filled music

I always forget stuff I want to talk about, lol... I saw the hotel Tanya and I will be staying at in San Fran... Hotel Monaco.. it's gorgeous... and really romantic looking, though it'll do nothing for Tanya and I. Obviously, we're going to need to go to Chinatown... but, the Blue and Gold Bay cruise looks cool, I was told I HAD TO ride the elevator at St. Francis and I want to play in Nob Hill (how could you go to San Fran and NOT go there?).... Anyone else have any "must-see" suggestions?

One of my favorite old friends is getting married. Found out this afternoon (is also the aforementioned friend I referred to earlier in this posting). I'm so happy for him. He deserves to be so very happy. Funny, I love weddings. I like the feeling that people have there - there's all this hope, and joy, and jubilance. My own was slightly draining, but I was in it, so that's different. The ones that I attend are different. I shall have to watch The Wedding Date in his honor. I'll get to meet her in 2 weeks. For all that I poke fun of E-harmony, that's where he met her... I can't help but giggle, I'm sorry. They're going to have FIVE children between them.
The red fingernails are scaring me.

Myspace Migration: I? Suck Lemons As The Toothfairy

Current mood:content
Ah, Children and Money. I doubt there's any parent alive that would be suprised by the statement of "kids love their money." Love to get it... my kids don't even mind doing chores to earn it (which yes, that did get an eyebrow raise from me the first time my kids ASKED to do the dishes). But even more than my kids like doing chores for coin, they love report card time and the tooth fairy.

Natalie lost a tooth about a week ago. Now, I'll be the first to concede that I suck as the tooth fairy. I'm not just bad, I truly suck. The kid will lose the tooth, tell me, I tell them to put it under their pillow and then promptly forget they lost the tooth. Luckily, they usually do, too ... but for a couple of years, the tooth fairy only came on "Fridays or Sundays" - told them it was a scheduling issue. Now that they know there really is no tooth fairy, it's worse. I had figured after the beans were spilled with the last tooth that we wouldn't be doing that anymore. Yeah, I underestimated my children's determination to not give up any opportunity for green. So, when Natalie lost this tooth, I really didn't think anything about it. Then, two days later, she asked for the money. Hmm... ok, sure. Told her she'd get $5 for the tooth. She stuck it under her pillow and the next day wanted to know why she didn't have her Lincoln (did you know Abe was on the $5?? - my kiddo is smart, I tell you). I figured I'd just add it into her account. Nope. She wants the money under her pillow and if she can't have it that way, evidentally, she feels like she should be able to negotiate the rate, because she's losing out on the experience. At least that is what she was doing with her father when she pulled yet another tooth Friday night (someone needs to explain to that kid that if she loses too many more teeth, she'll be on applesauce). That kid was born for the boardroom, I'm telling you.

Speaking of reward money, the kids got their report cards. Natalie had "A" honor roll and Lindsey made "AB." I'm very proud of both of them. However, their good grades raised an issue I was able to successfully skirt last year - payment for good grades. I'm not sure I'm keen on this. I like the idea of doing something special with them (we got their nails done and had a special dinner with their father for their good report cards), but I'm not sure I'm ok with paying them. Why? Because to me, good grades are a responsibility, not a choice. While I jokingly say that going to school is their 'job,' I worry that actually paying them for their grades would give them a greater sense of "it's an option." It's not and ten layers of terror would be unleashed if they were to start down the "path of the bad grade."

Lindsey wants to be a witch for Halloween. Natalie is going to LOOOVE what I'm going to be, but she hasn't decided herself. We're going to go trick-or-treat in the neighborhood. I'm ready to go to a Haunted House, but they're not old enough to go to a good one yet. I am going to take them to Fright Night at Six Flags. I want to go to Hangman's.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Myspace Migration: Gender Roles - Traditional Become Not So?

Current mood:calm
For whatever reason, Gender Roles has been a hot-button issue in my life over the last few days. It started a few days ago when I was asked if "traditional gender role-playing" would be important to me in a relationship. Hmmm... can't say I've ever had a guy ask me that before. And honestly, I had never thought about it. Is it important to me that a guy be handy around the house or that I be allowed to run the keeping of the household?? Do I really care whether or not he makes the perfect pot roast and I'm the one changing the oil?? In 2006, how big of an issue is this to anyone, really (I know I really hadn't put any thought to it before)?

So, I thought. I've determined I really don't care one way or another, as long as it makes sense. Personally, while I can change my own oil, I don't - Car Spa does that for me AND washes it, thank you (best 20 dollars I spend). Why do I do that? Because I don't want to.. it's not how I want to spend my time. So, why would I fault a guy for feeling the same way just because he's the "Guy" in the relationship? Also, I tend to hire a housekeeper when I'm in a relationship? Why? Because I don't want to spend time that I could be spending with my guy cleaning my house. I CAN do it, but again, the $60 spent is worth it to me because I'm able to (in my opinion) better spend my time elsewhere. And if that offends my guy, well - he probably doesn't need to be MY guy, because he obviously doesn't get me. Everything else, I guess it's just whatever makes sense - if he's better at the finances and wants to manage them (obviously, this is WAAAY down the relationship track) - then yippee.. but, I wouldn't want to be cut out entirely, nor would I want to hand them over to a guy who is incapable of balancing his checkbook just so he could feel manly. Seems stupid. In the year of 2006, when both men and women tend to work and "equality" is so widely-touted, it seems silly to me to assign duties based off of traditional ideas of what's appropriate for one sex over another. That being said, I DO think he should mow the lawn (or hire someone to do it).

But, maybe there is a little bit of antiquation (is that even a word??) in me yet. I guess I do believe that if you choose to stay home, you should be in charge of running it. Now, notice how I've worded that: you're in charge of running it. If you choose to hire someone to clean it, I think that as long as it's in the budget that you and your S.O. have set for the house, you should be able to do it. I think housekeepers are more about time-saving than chore-aversion. I'd hope you were doing something sensical with your time (being with your children, volunteering, whatever) as opposed to eating bon-bons and watching TV... but, you get the idea. My ex-husband wanted to stay home before our marriage disinegrated. I had no problem with that, but I felt at that point it was his responsibility to maintain the upkeep of the house, the yard, and the cooking. After all, it had been my responsibility on top of whatever other endeavors I chose to undertake... just seemed fair.

But what about gender-bias/gender-identity outside the home? Today on Good Morning America, they did a segment on the gender-discrimination in the scientific community. How big of an issue is this really for the majority of us on a day-to-day basis? Are there women still pushing their way into a "good ol' boy community" and men desperate to break into the "girls club?" I guess ... but, does it really hinder us? I know the industry I recruit for is considered to be the "good ol' boy network" - but, as a chick, I've had NO problem breaking through. Why? Because I'd like to think that at the end of the day, it's about your professionalism and the job you do... not whether or not you look good in a skirt. I find it hard to believe that anyone would truly believe you were somehow less capable because of your sex - there are fabulous men designers, there are phenomenal women executives... can anyone really be that limited in their thinking? Maybe I've just had a charmed existence??

Anyway, I'd love to say more, but I am going to attempt to get some work done today, since I'm feeling somewhat more myself this morning.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Myspace Migration: Oh Wow... So. Sick!

Current mood:sick
Yeah, it's official.. not allergies. Running a fever of over 102. I'm sick. Throat is so swollen that I couldn't swallow earlier. Yuck. Going to the doctor in the morning .. going to zpac whatever's ailing me. You know... there was more that I wanted to say, but I'm dizzy and I forget. Going to go lay back down. Wowzers.
I.need.soup. Unfortunately, I already have spicy asian marinated chicken and veggies to grill for this evening to pair with jasamine rice.. that sounds much more intensive than I'd like to do right now...
Ok, hooked up - can now write and recline. Here's a couple of things that I wanted to address:
1) Carrol High School has changed the way that they elect cheerleaders. Now, as my children don't go to Southlake-Carrol, nor am I a high-school girl - this has no bearing on my life. But, they now have NO maximum for the number of cheerleaders they can have on their varsity team, a minimum of 20 cheerleaders and it's no longer determined by popular vote ... but by judges who, by the way, cannot work at Carrol High. -- Does this just seem slightly nutty to you?? Jeez.
2) I was watching television and there was a commercial for eggs - that this company's eggs were better tasting. Um... maybe I'm off my rocker, but how is that even remotely possible? I mean, do "free-range eggs" taste better than "chicken-coop eggs?" It's an unfertilized egg... seriously, not sure how much that changes from chicken to chicken.
It's great to wake up when you're sick. Ok, I know that sounds plain wrong, but what I mean by that is you get like a 10-30 minute window right after you wake up that you feel OK... brain's not terribly foggy, can keep coherent thoughts and get stuff done. So, what am I spending my "brain time" on? Cheerleaders. This really bugged me for some reason. It's like they've really hindered the exclusivity by having so many and taking out the popular vote. Now, I wasn't a big Pom-Pom girl - so it's not like I'm worried about someone getting in on my club that shouldn't... but, the thing is, there IS exclusivity in life. Popular vote does count. Sometimes, even if you are good enough for something - you don't get it. It's an important lesson to learn. And I wonder, by taking that out - is SCISD helping or hindering those girls? And what about the other kids - I mean, shouldn't they get to choose who their cheerleaders are?? Cheerleaders are supposed to be representative of the student body ~ if the student body doesn't select them, doesn't that somehow diminish the "representation?" Ok, I have no idea why this has bugged me so much.. moving on...
I have had enough tea in the last 24 hours that I'm pretty sure I could float. Off to use my last Shower Soother (a must have if you have a cold, flu, or other head-stuffiness kind of illness).

Myspace Migration: Random Acts of Illness...

Current mood:sick
So, today was interesting. I.Am.Siiiiiick. Did go to the Doctor and got antibiotics. Am totally drugged up, and taking lots of Vitamin C (which I picked up today, maybe it'll help, maybe it won't) which isn't really like me (I don't like pills, but my head felt like it was going to explode)... here's what's on my mind today:

My Doctor is cute and, evidentally, single. And I looked like a complete schlub - not that you could (or should) seriously date your Doctor anyway, but that's really not the point. My hair was up, I was wearing oversized scrubs, my yankees shirt (again, oversized), and my addidas flippy-flops. I haven't seen THIS doctor in over a year - I forgot that he was cute. And what did we spend today talking about? Hormones and drainage. Good Lord. Need to go back to my Doctor of 24 years - he feels like my Dad, so I can't see him in the 'cute' light. Which is good, because I don't want to be grinning like an idiot (what I do when I'm embarrassed) whilst talking about the different alternatives for Hormone Replacement Therapy. Did you know that Premarin has equine hormone derived from urine?? Can you say GROSS?? (and that is SO NOT what we decided for me to take)

Moving on, there is absolutely nothing good on Daytime TV. I understand why women watch soaps, though - talk about a fantasy world! Everyone was beautiful (even the token fat person that they had on there), they were all fabulously weathly, I didn't see anyone really working, mostly fabulous clothing, and OMGod - the abs on some of those men! I left ABC on after the news so I would see when the T.O. conference came on .. it was just funny to actually watch the soap... One Life? Yeah, no wonder so many housewives are dissatisfied with their lives - there's NO reality there whatsoever.

T.O. - his publicist should be so fired. Maybe everyone knows that he's seeing his publicist, but if they don't, I bet they do now. Miss Thang came out with jeans, a very clingy top, and GUM in her mouth... smacking it around and letting it just sit there while she was talking on camera. Very unprofessional. And what's up with him, anyway?

I really don't care if he tried to kill himself or not - I don't understand people who think that suicide is an acceptable option, but it's their life... if they want to end it, should that be their option? Should we really try to revive someone/intervine? Seriously, I'm not sure - on the one hand, obviously it would seem as though they're unstable and not able to really make that decision... but, on the other hand (and I know this is going to sound crass)... isn't that kind of what the Darwin award is for? I have a very low empathy level for this kind of thing - my ex- used to threaten this all the time (he has a depression disorder).. of course, he never did it. But, it made me wonder truly... if someone wants to end their OWN life (not take out anyone else).. do we as a society have the right to say no??
On a lighter note, I had this lovely realization that we were actually engineered to fit together! It has to do with the bridge of the nose, and how the other person's nose/forehead fits perfectly there - kind of a snuggly thing. I'm sure I'm not explaining it well, but it was a lovely thought to wake up to.

I need to research the Save Our Homes Ammendment in Florida. It was brought to my attention today regarding building - and I really didn't see the two as intertwined - in so much that I don't see how it would affect builders. However, I concede I don't really know much about it other than it's a tax cap that put most of the responsibility of supporting the local government onto the business/commerce end of things. It's also kept quite a few people from moving so they don't lose the cap advantage - but, with the retirees continuing to flock to Florida... how much of a difference is it making to MY industry??

I guess that's all the musing I can recall for now - other than I do miss having someone around when I'm sick. Not that you'd want to snuggle up to someone when you're sick, that'd be kind of mean, but it's nice to know someone else is around, you know? But, for now, I need to start the grill and cook the chicken I didn't want to yesterday...

ETA: Oh yes, there IS a flu epidemic going around... take whatever you take to keep from getting sick!

Monday, September 25, 2006

Myspace Migration: Orange Bliss

Current mood:bouncy
Oh. My. Very Good. Lord. These little oranges filled with orange sorbet are just heavenly AND sooo cute! I know I've raved about them before, so I won't go off on a diatribe.. I will just say that it was the perfect way to unwind today. And it might, quite possibly be, my favorite dessert. I know I said I'm not a big dessert person, but I should amend that.. I like LIGHT desserts - like Italian ices, sorbets, fruit, and such.. quasi-healthy stuff. And the fact that I can have sorbet, served in a hollowed-out orange for under 100 calories just makes my night! :)

Finally found the game. ESPN. Thanks to James for giving me a clue. Duh - should have checked that to begin with... I want the Saints to win!!!

So, I lost a myspace friend today - unfortunately, I have over 120 friends, so it's hard to keep up with everyone and I don't know which one it is. Which is, actually, slightly sad because I'm not on here to collect people, so that means it's someone I know, knew, or quasi-know... I wish there was an alert for that: "So-and-so just ditched your butt..." LOL

Noooo surgery! Everything checked out, I'm good and no surgery for now. Check back in March. Off to watch football and play life with the girls...

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Myspace Migration: The Alpha, The Omega & The Ham Sandwich

Current mood:mellow
I've heard it said that life is all about what happens in the space between... the space between thoughts, the space between the beginning and the end. Life's all about the middle. So, if you're in balance with your life, I guess you're hanging out in the thick of things, right? And, to follow that thought further, if that's the case, I'm out of balance with life. For I am excellent at playing The Alpha and Omega.

I tend to begin and end things, I guess. There's always some new adventure starting or some crisis that I'm shutting down. It's what I do - even my very job is largely about beginnings. I'm comfortable with that role. Well, today I played both Alpha and Omega... created a new adventure for myself and ended an old relationship.

My market is changing at work. In fact, I will say that as of today, my business has completely recycled. Gotta start all over again. And while I'm not thrilled, it's not going to kill me. And, if anything, it gives me a chance to build things up again MY WAY. So, it's almost a challenge. I'm going to re-tool the way I do my business and focus on more operations than anything else. Once it's established, it should make things easier. But, I think for the next month or two I'm going to need a LOT of coffee and will be putting much change into the swear jar.

Ended a relationship today. That's always hard to do. Wasn't serious with the guy, so it wasn't like I killed this big thing - we weren't seeing each other exclusively, but still.. he was hopeful and that made me a little sad for him. I don't like hurting people's feelings. But, it just wasn't going to work and I saw no reason to perpetuate the situation. He took it well, overall; did ask if there was someone else to which I said, "No, but there is the idea of someone else and really, isn't that enough? I mean, if I know it's not you, isn't that all that really needs to be said?" And I think that's true - there are too many people willing to settle in life. He's a great guy, he's just not MY Guy. And I don't need to settle; I'm happy with my life now. It wouldn't be fair to him, anyway... I think everyone deserves to find the person that is their best friend, the person that looks at them and is just in awe at how lucky they are to be with them. Not because they're any better than you are - but because they're them - being who they are is perfect for you. I know that sounds quite pie-in-the-sky, and it's not to say you wouldn't have days/times where you want to rip that ideal person's nose off - but, nonetheless, I think it's findable. And for me, it's going to be someone who can make a decision to save their soul. Which, means it's NOT this guy. Note to self: it really is quite pleasant to end things over coffee. Perhaps it's hard to be too angry while sipping on something with caramel in it??

Got my nails and feet done today. There is something very calming about this little ritual. It's nice to have 2 people working on you at the same time, trying to make you pretty and soft. There's one place I go to that I REALLY love, because they cover your face with a lavendar mask, put a warm blanket over you and off you go to sleep. No talking about your kids or trying to connect with you. The only reason I don't go there every time is because they won't razor my feet and I like that. Anyway, I needed it today! But, I'm having another pedicure with a girlfriend on Saturday; so my feet will be VERY soft by the end of the weekend! I was laughing while in this place, though. Ok, my hands and feet looked positively mutated when I went in. I really needed a fill a week ago and my feet were rough and the paint-job was full-on chipped. I apologized to the ladies at the get-go, but I don't think they really believed me till I took off my heels. Then they said something in whatever language they spoke and laughed. I totally threw them off when I laughed too and said, "Oh I know, I'm such a mongoloid - they're really bad!" Come on, really, like I DON'T know you're talking about me when you start suddenly speaking another language and titter? Please. Anyway, they spoke in English the rest of my visit.

Had the BEST ham sandwich today. It was grilled - love warm sandwiches. It was a grilled cheese with ham, I guess. I don't normally eat pork & I don't know what possessed me really. Had a lovely soup with it - best dinner I've had in ages (and no, that was not on the menu tonight). Anyway, Sonic rocks. But it made me soo sleepy! I cuddled with Lindsey some this evening and passed out watching some Family Channel movie with her. I guess my insomnia bout is over. :)

I should go to bed now; I'm telecommuting tomorrow, but I still need some sleep. I have a list to finish up in the morning - I WILL get that done, D! Night all.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Myspace Migration: Let The Rain Fall Down... Weekend Blog

Current mood:awake
We have RAIN!!! Ok, one of the goofy things about having a home is that you get excited for your landscape every time it rains. I water my yard like 4 times a day (no joke, I'm technologically impaired and I can't figure out how to reprogram my sprinkler system), but I still have some strange belief that rain is better for it. It's certainly more fun to watch, too...

Ok, I'm just realizing something. I'm a total goober. Why do I have such a problem with software? I can design and help put together a sprinkler system, but I can't program the box. I can build a computer that runs fine for two years, but when I have to replace the sound card - I can't figure out how to get the software to install correctly and now I have no sound card on my computer. There are other examples, but it would just be redundant. And I'm going to rant about Norton for a second - it's completed forked over my computer - the thing ran FLAWLESSLY until I installed norton and now it's slow, my sound card is screwed up, it jacked up Microsoft Money, I can't use my webmail and it won't let me click on links in Yahoo.
I had such beautiful sleep last night. I kept hearing "Chasing Cars" in my dreams, though "All that I am, all that I ever was.. Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see..." Good lyrics.

I love my Nati. She just made my morning by calling to say she loves me. :)
I have no concrete plans until this evening, so I think I'm going to go to the DMA today. Sounds kinda fun. I NEED to clean my house, but that does not sound fun and relaxing. I need to create FAB sheets (Features and Benefits) on 3 candidates today - that I WILL do, probably stop by the office on the way to the museum. And a pumpkin latte sounds good - I should work out first, though.. I guess I'll stop loafing and do that now... maybe hang up the clothes in my room first.

Had fun last night. Karaoke is just so cool.. no pictures, but none were needed. There is a two-hour limit on Saturday nights, so at 10 we went to Vickery Park, where Meredith's Shamir works. I liked that place, it was nice to sit out on their Patio and enjoy some good drinks and the nice September night air... I did get tipsy last night - enough to where I had to eat a pork taco (not kosher!!)... but, it's what they had and I had to drive home. I was fine by the time I left at 1:30, though... they have pretty good Tacos, but for some reason, they don't start making them until AFTER 11pm.
Going out with the girls today.. Jackie and I are going to breakfast before we pick up Amy. I'm looking forward to going to Northpark today - there's a shirt I need to Exchange at BH/WM (I'm ok with boob shirts, but that one is rediculous, even if it is adorable) as well as a skirt that just ... I liked it better at the store than I did when I got it home. I do NOT like exchanging things. However, if I'm going to spend over a hundred dollars on one article of clothing (which has been the trend of late), then damnit, I'm going to WEAR it. LUSH DAY!!! BATH BOMBS!! Aaaaaand, there's a Lush Party today, so that means New Stuff! Yay! It's rediculous how much I Love that store and their Rockstar soap and Jenna Jameson glitter bath bomb (it's pink, makes you a little glittery, makes you smell yummy, and puts out enough bubbles that it looks like a bath out of a chick porn flick, thus the nickname I gave it "the Jenna Jameson bath bomb"). I need to get another gold glitter massage bar while I'm there, today, too... I've been using the massage bar I got while I was seeing Elliott to work out the stress in my legs after working out (it was originally something purchased for use with him, but he's not in the picture... and waste not, want not!). It's called Wiccy Magic Muscles - has these layer of little beans that feel like little fingers when you are massaging it over your muscles that feel. so. good. And, it warms your skin as you use it (thank you cinnamon leaf) ~ it's a
very.good.experience. Anyway, definitely recommend it and so glad I came across it.
Appointment with the surgeon is tomorrow.. it'll all be good, I'm sure.

~ETA: It's all good. Don't need surgery. Yay!

Friday, September 22, 2006

Myspace Migration: Freaky Friday

Current mood:flirty
Today was just freakin' wierd. Period. Started out great, went sideways, got better, went WAY sideways, and then got better again... all I can say is thank God for Rock and Roll, Good Friends, and Great Beer.

I think Tanya's going to go with me to San Fran since Jackie can't. We had SUCH a good time this evening. Started out at Dave and Busters and moved on over to the Down Under for dinner, more drinks, and dancing. I just gotta say, I LOVE to dance. I probably suck, but I really don't care. It's fun, I like the sway of the body and feeling the thud of the music in your chest - Boom! Boom! Boom! It's intoxicating and I love it! T and I decided we've got to go check out the dance clubs in San Fran ~ noone will know us, we can make complete asses of ourselves and it'll be ok. :) I had oysters this evening. I love seafood. Unfortunately, Tab had some domestic drama and the evening got cut semi-short. But, I had noticed a thunderstorm brewing and I'd rather be here for that, watching it with Riesling, anyway.. Too bad Chris and I couldn't catch a drink this evening - just seemed like it was probably too late. He sounded like he could have used a pick-me-up-friend this evening.
Tomorrow's karaoke night! I'm looking forward to that, should be fun.. I'm glad some people are coming, but I'm not too worried about who shows and who doesn't - it's not a party, it's just what I'm doing and other people said they wanted to do it, too ... so, now it's an 'event.'

Oh, funny thing I wanted to save for future reference so I can reference it when I'm feeling less than stunning - I evidentally do this new look well. Not only was I told I was 'cool' by a handful of guys and dolls today (thank you very much, I think so, too ;) )... but, I got asthetic compliments from guys I know today left and right (I only pay attention to it if it's from someone I know)... so, cool! Guess I'm doing something right - I'd be lying if I said I understood it. I don't think i'm THAT good looking (don't get me wrong, I know I'm not unfortunate looking or anything, but I'm not going to be entering any contests any time soon, either)... so, it's got to be the whole confidence thing. A guy told me once that men like confident women. I definately have that in spades... so, maybe that's it?? Whatever it is, it was fun this evening! :)

Ok, off to watch the impending storm and get some wine and snuggle with my blankie...
~~~eta: Ok, that sounded sooo snotty. I guess I just enjoyed the ego boost today.. everyone likes a little validation.

On a more serious note, what is with people's sense of entitlement? Between watching people just cut past lines of cars because they didn't want to wait, too and being told I don't have the "RIGHT TO FEEL" frustrated... I'm just having a little trouble bending my mind around where people feel like they get off. But, I don't want to address that any more today, because I've FINALLY gotten myself back into a pretty stellar mood after all the sideways twists and turns today...

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Myspace Migration: Champagne Thursday

Current mood:peaceful
Taking a brief moment to pay homage to the fact that it's Thursday and in six hours - It becomes Champagne Thursday!!! Today is crazy busy - but, it's going well so I'm not going to knock it.

Only snag in my day: so, yeah... obviously Elliott is NOT going with me to California, so need to change the tickets. Thought I was going to take Jackie, so no big deal... yeah, not so much. Jackie just found out that her physical inventory is the 20th and the 21st... since the trip is the 19th through the 22nd, that's just not going to fly. It's Mandatory for them, no exceptions (they made someone change their daughter's wedding date one year). Sucks. So, now I have NO idea who I'm going to be taking to go play in California and drink wine with me... shoot.

So I don't lose this/forget about it later: http://www.nanowrimo.org/ I'm so looking forward to the 2006 Nano Write a Novel in a month challenge!! I was a 2005 participant and it was a blast... I was thinking it was in October and I wasn't sure how I was going to pull that off with everything going on, but November should be slightly less hectic.. :)

So, finishing up my Champagne Thursday blog, I was thinking about passwords today. EVERY SINGLE DAY, at least once, I put the wrong password into some site.. either my myspace password into my work server verificaton, or my bank password into my ladies site - whatever.. every day it happens. I had a stray thought of "I wonder if those failed attempts are logged somewhere; that could be dangerous...." Either way, you'd think after 2 years I'd remember what password to put into my database, lol...

I watched the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy. I like that show, I think. This is only the second episode I saw. There was this line that struck me - I thought man, how I'd long to say THAT and have it be true: "I'm just a girl in a bar. I don't have a story." Of course, that's bunk for her and it would definitely be if I said it. But boy, does it feel easier. Do you ever think about the story behind the stories we get told? The stuff in between the lines that people are loathe to say ~ because it reminds them of pain, because they're embarrassed, because it's complicated - whatever... does that ever cross your mind as you're listening to someone? I wonder sometimes, how much that matters. Is the story they tell the story that makes them who they are, or the stuff between the lines we don't hear? I was going to share my story this evening.. didn't. Decided if the person wanted to know, they'd ask... and honestly, I started to. But what do you give? The bare bones backstory or the stuff that made you who you are? Do people really want to hear that? I'm not really sure. So, I said nothing and that's ok, too. Like I said, if they want to know, they'll ask and if they don't, I didn't impress myself unneccessarily. There's a growth step for me. I'm not one for holding back; I tend to just put myself out there... like it or not.

Last thought- I don't even really remember WHY I thought of this, but I did. Dating sites. Why is it so many people are on multiple dating sites? Is one not enough? Do they NEED the others to help them get the variety they're looking for or is it just a "cover all bases" kind of thing? Just curious.

Myspace Migration: Creativity

Current mood:nostalgic
It's a funny thing, to me. I don't really quite comprehend how the same vein can lift you up in one instance and somber you in another. It's the same talent, the same trait ... how can the same trait tap into so many different parts of your psyche?

I'd like to think we're all creative, in our own ways. Of course, I have no way of knowing whether or not that is actually true. I think that I'm creative. I like to write, I enjoy creating. I like to sing. I really like to sing, and although I know I'm not bad, I don't really think I'm that great, either. I get by enough to make ME happy, and I guess that's what counts. I feel peaceful when I sing.

I tried to write songs. I suck at that. I only ever wrote one song that was worth a damn: "The Story of Us." Wrote it after my marriage ended and could never make it through it without crying. Eventually, I put it away. It never really made sense to my why that song affected me so, when I was the one that decided to end the marriage (one could argue that his actions spurred mine, but that's a pointless argument. he would have stayed married forever, I think, regardless of what he wanted). I finally figured out one day that I experienced a loss and that song was my way of working through it - so, singing it put me back in the middle of those emotions. Back in the middle of the hurt, the bad choices, the confusion - and that's not my life anymore. I haven't thought about that song in so long - until I was reading someone else's story that was similar to my own and it reminded me.

But, anyway.. writing. I think I'm ok at that. It makes me feel good when people relate to pieces of what I'm writing - like I've connected with them for a moment. Their life, and my life, touch for a bit. Good pictures do that to me, too - but, I really can't take good pictures. Just admire them from a distance. Probably why I love going to the museum so much.

I was watching this guy paint one day. Friend of a friend of a friend kind of thing. It was really cool to see what creativity looks like in action. On his face, in his hands.. he was alive with it. It was an abstract painting - a tree, The Tree.. you could sort of see it in the background. I remembered that when I saw a loosely similar painting in Lindsey's dentist's office yesterday.

I don't really know what any of this means except it was just a subject I wanted to address. Funny thing - had I not gotten divorced, I probably wouldn't be experiencing all of this now.. guess everything works out how it should, huh?

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Myspace Migration: Single-Mommy Superstar

Single-Mommy Superstar
I want one of those Stars that movie-actresses/actors have on their door - that says, "Single Mommy Superstar" or something... today is going to be a total feat of scheduling/controlling chaos, if I can pull it off.
First, I did not wake up with a headache this morning. I did, however, oversleep and didn't get up in time to work-out, so that'll be shifted to this afternoon. Why did I oversleep? Not because of the Riesling, like one might think.. no, it's because my child's tooth broke in the middle of the night. (Why do all these things happen AFTER midnight?? Can't we do daytime catastrophes like normal people??) It looks gnarly. So, today we're going to have to take a trip to the dentist for some emergency work. Fun, fun. Somehow, I'm going to have to work this around a client visit, 2 interview preps and a presentation prep for tomorrow's client meeting - and, Oh yeah! because I AM Yearbook Chair, I've got a meeting at 4ish with the Lifetouch chick. Oy! Today's going to be busy. Wish me luck, I'm probably going to need it.
Ok. I lived through today - the dentist was an asshat and we were in the office for 8 hours, which to me is beyond the pale, but I'm done complaining - my daughter is going to be fine and that's what counts. And I was able to write 18 pages on medical catastrophes with kids, so that's good, I guess. I'm threadbare, though... and as of tomorrow, my new song is going to be Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. Heard that song on Grey's Anatomy this evening and it moved me in ways I really can't even express.
I'm in one of those moods where what I really want is a good conversation, but I'm just a little too drained to go to the effort to start one. So, I guess I'll go sip on my coffee....

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Myspace Migration: I'm Sorry, You Have to Die Now

Current mood:devious
That was the quote that explained me on the Briggs-Myers test. I'm an ENTJ ~ Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging. So, I'm a "Field Marshall." I'm outspoken, can read into people, like to learn, base my decisions on logic and cause/effect, and assume leadership readily. My Dad, incidentally, is an INTJ - which is probably why we get along so well.

Some days I can see that more than others. Today, I saw it. I don't know if I just lack in the empathy department, or what.. but sometimes, I swear, it's SO hard to muster up feeling for stupid people. Or people who make TRULY stupid choices and then want you to feel sorry for their consequences. This candidate today, I wanted to feel sorry for him, but I just couldn't. He had literally had 8 jobs in 10 years - how can you NOT realize that's a dumb move? Now, he's upset because noone wants to hire him - but, why would they? He's really only shown that come a year or two from now, he's going to flush all their training dollars down the tube when he gets a bigger and better offer elsewhere.

It's true in kids, too. By the way, kids can be mean little buggers. I kind of wish I could muster up more feeling for the kiddos when they're snotty, but I can't. My kids were sitting outside and this neighbor's friend's kid starting bullying my daughter - which caused the kid next door (who, while he can be nice, has a 'tude) to join in. So, being the Mommy Lion that I am - I jump outside and put a QUICK stop to that ... by telling them to a) get off my porch if they're going to be rude and b) would the cute little girl NOT being mean to my kids and my girls like to come inside and have Dibs and popcorn?? Was cracking up when the two little kids who were being hooligans were upset that they weren't invited... I simply said, "Start being nice to my kid and then you can come next time. But you're NOT going to be rewarded for bad behavior. Bye now." I didn't feel sorry for them for being left out - I was irritated that I had to leave them out, truth be known. Why can't they all just get along?!

I really don't remember being cruel to anyone growing up. I might have been - maybe I'm glossing over my memories. However, I remember feeling like it wasn't really fair to treat anyone any better/worse than anyone else - that we were all pretty much the same: kids. Just trying to figure things out. Well, there was this ONE day in 5th grade where I wasn't very nice to Jason Burgett - but, I think he got even over the next three years! Man, we fought .. lol He's a good guy, though - I knew it then, and I know it now (his wife, by the by, is adorable). Other than that, I have no memories of being mean. So, I have a really hard time understanding when other children are - and I DO NOT tolerate it with my own. They know that, and they are (for the most part) very nice to each other and they're ALWAYS nice to other kids. I just think that's the way the world should be.

Cover bands. I was going to talk about this Saturday/Sunday, but ran out of steam. Do you ever wonder if cover bands get sick of doing the band they're covering for - or, if they long to add their own personal flair to it? It just seems like it would be somewhat depressing (at some point) to live your life pretending to be someone else. Maybe I'm just too much of an individualist, but that would drive me bazonkers! This band this past weekend, though - they had it DOWN - the clothes, the mannerisms, the sound, even the swagger in the step! It was funny, but I couldn't help but wonder about the musician behind the Bono facade. He really should have done "short-hair" Bono, in my opinion, though.. I just have a hard time getting behind guys with long hair. Dunno, just doesn't seem attractive to me.

It's Margarita Tuesday for Me/Jackie/Wendy and dessert night for the kiddos!! This is the evening my kids look forward to all month. We go to Raphs (the resteraunt that is LITERALLY at the front of my neighborhood) and I order them the entire dessert menu and shrimp fundido for dinner. They LOVE it. I AM a cool Mom - even if it does draw wierd looks now and again...

OH! Music suggestion - go download, if you haven't already heard it, Ice by Sara McLachlan. It's off the Fumbling Towards Ecstasy album. That's my FAVORITE song - sing it every day, every day, every day in the shower... very moody, good nighttime song with candles and wine. Favorite part: "Well I don't like your tragic sighs,as if your God has passed you by well, hey -fool- that's your deception... Your angels speak with jilted tongues, serpent's tail has come undone, you have no .. strength to squander... The only comfort is the mooving of the river, you enter into me a Lie. Upon. Your lips. Offer what you can, I'll take all that I can get.. only a fool is here, to stay..." Gives me chills... :)

Also, the live version of "Hold On" rocks, too... "Oh God, if you're out there won't you hear me - I know that we've never talked before.. Oh God, the man I love is leaving .. won't you take him, when he Cooomes to your door..."

Monday, September 18, 2006

Myspace Migration: Gots to Love My Monday!

Gots To Love Monday...
Current mood:energetic
I do, really. I don't know why, but I have always loved Mondays. Favorite day of the work week, actually. Typically, I get a LOT accomplished on Mondays. Today was really no exception - AND I had an impromptu client meeting. With one of my favorite clients no less - 'course, I wasn't dressed to the nines like I'd normally be, but... they're my oldest clients, they love me anyway (Note to self: Jean Jackets at work may not be the best of ideas). Really enjoy client meetings ~ you get to get immersed, if but for a brief moment, into THEIR world. See their culture, hear their language, feel their pulse. It's really cool.
Today just reminded me why I love my job so much - everything is mashed up into it. I get the thrill of sales and negotiation, I get to enjoy dealing in strategy, diagnostics and prescription - I get to talk to people, be in the know, dissiminate information and to a large degree, Be In Control. My job is a total thrill. I LOVE IT! And I have such a good relationship with this client - both divisionally, and corporately. It feels like home when I see them.
More later - conference call...
I have beer. I have Chicken Asada (actually cooked stuffed mushrooms and Tuscany-roasted potatoes yesterday, so I'm not eating the same thing twice) and Mexican Rice. I have Monday night football and I have Weeds. I'm SOOOO happy!
Wanted to address an email I received today - went back and read yesterdays blogs again and WHEW! I was in a mood!! I did NOT quit seeing the guy I referenced yesterday SOLELY because he gave me a gift. That was just kind of the straw that broke the back, so to speak... there were other reservations.. a lot of them had to do with the fact that he threw his money around and that's not attractive to me. But, in the end, I decided that we simply weren't compatible - and he knew my stance on gift-giving, we had a conversation about it the first time around. Just so you don't think I'm a complete whack-job, lol..

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Myspace Migration: Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Current mood:lazy
So, saw a U2 Cover last night with what is turning out to be my newfound concert buddy, Adam. Was fun - and probably much safer than the "Stripper Pole/Stock the Bar/I Got Divorced" party I was going to go to with T and definately more fun than Season 2 of Entourage that I originally planned on. It was at the Tipperary Inn - I like that place and would like to go back when there's no band. It felt like my speed. They were good - even sounded like U2. I want to address the whole topic of cover bands later, but not right now...

I'm getting better at driving around in Dallas. While YES, I did get lost trying to get to Northpark, leaving me only a half hour to shop (which is fine, I'm all for getting in/getting what you need/getting out unless you're meandering with a friend) - I did not get lost going home and I even took an alternate route than what Mapquest suggested!!! It's the little things in life and I'm telling you, I felt badass. LOL

Ok, so I want to talk about the "high maintenance lifestyle." I sort of tried to talk with Adam about this last night - but, it wasn't coming out right and I think he thought I meant the PEOPLE are high-maintenance. While there are high-maintenance people, that's not what I meant. I'm talking about the lifestyle here. It seems to me, that Dallas promotes a somewhat high-maintenance lifestyle. Looking around when I'm at a club, you see people really WORKING HARD to impress - dressed to the nines in clothes you'd probably never see them in the rest of the week, acting in ways I'm not sure they'd act on their own (and sometimes would hope they wouldn't), spending insane amounts of money on drinks they're not going to have in their system 24 hours from now.

Don't misunderstand - I think the Dallas nightlife is fun and I'm enjoying getting into some. But, for me, it's a metered dose thing - one or two nights a week (the weekend). What I'm wondering is, for those who do it daily... does it change you? Make your lifestyle harder, higher to maintain?? Does suddenly, the black-button down shirt that you have not seem cool enough and so you have to go get one with more "flash" to it (like maybe pearl buttons?? hehehe - sooo just kidding, that actually sounds kinda cool lol)?? I don't know, just wondering...

But, maybe that's because my life is very low-maintenance, despite the fact that I have 2 kids and a healthy dose of chaos. I'm just as happy going bowling or doing the karaoke thing on the weekend as I am hanging out at Carsons (maybe moreso, Carsons is something of a meat market). I love it when I get together with friends and we watch sports, movies, whatever.. that's fun for me. And I can do it in jeans and a tee-shirt (which, incidentally, IS basically what I wore last night.. I just wore a black-house/white-market v-neck shirt ... did I mention I LOVE that place?). So, maybe this just looks slightly harder to maintain by comparison. But, I'm not knocking it - like I said, I have enjoyed my foray into the Dallas nightlife and really, whatever makes people happy is cool with me.

I've been watching the thunderstorm on my front porch. I LOVE my front porch (big part of the reason I took the house) and I love watching the rain - love thunderstorms. You can feel the energy, the air smells better, it's soothing and enjoyable. I'll often sit on my porch and just watch it - or, write and watch. This morning, I just sipped my Mimosa, wrapped in a light blanket, and gazed out. It was nice and lazy.
More later, perhaps...
Brief moment of frustration: The kids still aren't here. So, I call Jason to find out what's up.. they're not coming until 4PM!!!!!!! I would have liked to have them earlier, but I can deal - but, now what am I going to do with myself?! I had "snuggle and spend time with munchkins" engrained in the brain. Hmm.. guess I could have stayed out later after all...maybe I'll go to the Dallas Art Museum...
Ok, this section is a total vent.. not even sure if it's going to be worth reading, I'm just cheesed by a couple of things and I want to get them OFF my chest so I can go on with my merry little day.

First of all, another guy bites the dust. I got a gift. From a guy that I haven't been talking to for very long at all. Well, correction - we talked and saw each other a few months back, and then pursued other interests and then started talking again a couple of weeks ago. So, there's a short-hand. But, this was completely unasked for (which makes sense), and completely unwanted. It was gorgeous, I'll give him that - Mont Blanc pen.. I love Mont Blanc, and I while I do find it cute that he was trying to tie in a tip of the hat to both my Judaic heritage and my writing... it feels like an attempt to buy my affections. And that is SO not cool. Maybe this is a societal norm that I've missed along the way.. he's certainly not the first guy to buy me something (in a time-frame that I consider to be extremely premature). But, what exactly about me screams that I would be even remotely interested in that? I'd like to think that I come off as self-sufficient, down to earth and low-maintanence. But, if I appear to be the kind of girl that needs gifts to accept your affection/be interested in someone... then, perhaps I'm not? Either way, it's inappropriate. It's one thing when you're in an established relationship.. you see something that strikes you, something you want to get for your boyfriend/girlfriend and so you do. But, the keywords here are ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP and BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND. We had neither one of those keywords in our relationship - so, he's history and the gift should get back to him on Tuesday, assuming Fed-ex stays on schedule. I feel like the Pussycat Dolls "I Don't Need a Man" should be playing in the background.
I don't mean to be a complete hard-ass about this, but gifts cause issues - or they can. Issues I don't want, need, or really even have time for. First of all, I don't want any guy thinking he needs to buy me anything to get my affections/attention. I'm not a 'bling' kind of girl. Secondly, I have to wonder whether or not accepting gifts from men that I'm not in a singular relationship with would be a) leading them on, b) causing them to inwardly question whether I like them or the stuff they're buying me, and c) create some sort of unspoken obligation (or the delusion that there should be). I'm not going to be tied to someone by stuff. Now, flowers (in appropriate amounts, nothing crazy), CDs a guy burned for me to hear, that kind of stuff - that's cool .. I'm all for that. Don't care get if I get that stuff or not... but, I'm not going to return them. But, expensive crap is a different story - don't want, don't need, really wigs me out. Ok, 'nough of that.

Second gripe (last gripe, actually), is Jason. He informed me he's taking vacation in October, the week of the 13-23rd. Why do I care about this? Because the vacation I've had planned for MONTHS, which is not moveable at this point, is the 19th-22nd. And he was supposed to watch the kids. We talked about it, I remember the conversation because I actually offered him to stay at my house to make it easier and he made a smart-alecked remark about whether or not my 'toys' would be hidden. But, now he's saying we never talked about it and he's not going to be in state. He's got nothing planned, doesn't know where he's going - but Sorry! Can't help. BREATHE. BREATHE. BREATHE. I so want to throttle him at the moment. We will definately be having more discussions about this because I AM going to California.

I'm going to go cook something now. Maybe some Asada.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Myspace Migration: Another Exciting Email Exchange

Current mood:amused
Ok, you'd like to think that all men aren't asshats. Truthfully, I know they all aren't, but email exchanges like the one below do make that somewhat hard to believe now and again... Guys, NO CHICK worth her salt thinks this is cool. I can't fathom the woman that would read this and say, "Oh, now There's a MAN!" We read it and say, "Asshat."

From: Shawn
Date: Sep 15, 2006 3:53 PM

dont want to chat
From: Crystal
Date: Sep 15, 2006 3:34 PM

Sure.. what do you want to chat about? I was working earlier.
From: Shawn
Date: Sep 18, 2006 7:23 AM

you look very sexy in your pics...im from aubrey too...do you like to flirt online
From: Crystal
Date: Sep 18, 2006 5:33 AM

I appreciate the comment, but no - not really into online flirting. Sorry... Hope you have a nice day, though!
From: Shawn
Date: Sep 18, 2006 7:35 AM

i didnt mean like cybersex or anything....just wanted to get to know you better..thats all...im not a perve or anything...you have a sexy look with that red lipstick and the dark hair and eyes....

From: Crystal
Date: Sep 18, 2006 5:55 AM

This is going to sound witchy and I don't mean it that way, but look at it through my filter for a moment. Your whole spiel has been features that benefit you... you've said nothing to this point that gives me any sort of feature or benefit that would make chatting with you worth it FOR ME. You have no real profile - just that you're looking for fun and then everything else on your page oozes of sex. You have no picture, so I have no mental image of who I'm speaking with.. there's absolutely nothing in either your page or your emails that would give me any sense of who you are. No features, thus no benefits.

From: Shawn
Date: Sep 19, 2006 7:24 AM

i didnt mean to offend you yesterday....if i did then i apologize
From: Crystal
Date: Sep 19, 2006 5:28 AM

You didn't offend me; I just needed to state my position. What you do next is really up to you.

From: Shawn
Date: Sep 19, 2006 7:30 AM

its not all about sex....and i didnt want you to think that....i thought you looked pretty in your pics and i wanted to tell you that....im a flirt by nature..cant help it...thats why i asked if you liked to flirt...i didnt mean cybersex....just some casual flirting....just getting to know you....you have a sexy look about you...i have always loved women who wore glasses....something sexy about it....you look like the quite lady that works at a library but who is a wildcat in the bedroom....dont be offended....you are a pretty woman

From: Crystal
Date: Sep 19, 2006 5:34 AM


Totally understand what you're saying and not to toot my own horn, you're not the first to have said it. What I was trying to get at, and evidentally it was missed, is that if you're looking for someone (who has any substance to them) to talk/flirt back, then you need to start selling YOUR features and benefits, rather than recapping hers. Because I guarantee you, she KNOWS her features and benefits. So when you do that, you're wasting her time - which means right now, you're wasting my time.

And if it's not all about sex, then why is that really all you've talked about?

From: Shawn
Date: Sep 19, 2006 1:35 PM

dont take this the wrong way...but yu have a very sexy mouth
Clearly, we have a Rhodes Scholar on our hands...
I need a new song on my homepage - Delerium yanked 'After All' - any suggestions??

Friday, September 15, 2006

Myspace Migration: What's Up With All These Commercials???

Current mood:amused
Ok, I have 5 minutes to kill whilst my jacket is getting dewrinkled (I LOVE MY DRYER, I hate ironing and now I don't have to, lol)... What is going on with TV commericals today? While I was getting ready this morning, I heard a commerical for birth control that was in rhyme. I kid you not, this chick was delivering prose about birth control. Good Lord. That does beat the one with the chicks sitting around a bar talking about it - I know that's what I do with my girlfriends, and it totally made me want to use that brand until I heard the poetry birth control spot - now I'm asking for THAT (and just in case anyone reading this doesn't know me, I'm kidding). The other commercial that really got me this morning - I was giggling - is the commerical for some fat-burning/weight loss pill that is for people who "seriously need to lose weight." So, those of you who are just "playing around with it" - this drug is not for you. Seriously.

The thing is, these commercials aren't just thrown against the wall to see what sticks. There is actually a lot of research and testing that goes into these. They even have people come in for test-runs to get feedback. Who are those people and why did they not say, "This is the stupidest freaking thing I have EVER heard - do you realize you're actually insulting the audience you're trying to target??"
Ok, 5 minutes is up - more later.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Myspace Migration: Midnight Randomness & Music

So, I'm going to start this blog off with the MySpace bugs are starting to tick me off. They've now eaten TWO of my blog postings this evening. But, since I have another 10 songs to go through before I want to call it a night (mostly because of something I'm going to address a little further down in the blog); I'm going to rewrite this one. But, this serves as my formal notice of complaint - Tom, break out the pest control! I don't like losing what I wrote!

Chris reminded me this afternoon while we were chatting about nothing terribly significant that everything is seperated by Six Degrees. Well, in my life it tends to run more in Threes, but the concept is the same. It's actually how I ran across my newfound favorite wiseguy, who classifies himself as a "Throwback to the days when men were men." I'm still pretty convinced it's all just for shock-value or self-preservation, Chris - but whatever helps you sleep at night! Anyway, I found him by surfing through Brian Cuban's friends and found DallasBondGirl because of a dating blog. On DallasBondGirls comment page was Christopher - who had a good blog on Moby Dick (if I recall), so he got messaged and then befriended... now I have regular smart-ass comments posted on my blog. They're fun, though; so, I don't mind.

It's also how I realized that I traded in the title of "SuperMom" this evening for "SuperIdiot." At least for today and probably tomorrow. So, Natalie was playing at a friends today and when I picked her up, she informed me that she had broken her arm. I summarily dismissed it, since she hadn't called to have me pick her up, nor was she crying in pain... "Of COURSE you did sweetheart - and if it's still broken next week, we'll have it looked at.. want to listen to Ice Princess?" Yeah. Ok. Well, she came downstairs about an hour ago now trying to hold back tears, apologizing for being awake - but, her arm REALLY hurt. So, I have her take off her pj top so I can examine her arm (it was long-sleeved, I kind of freeze the house out at night). She has trouble getting it off - Uh-oh... this is NOT a good sign. Do you remember playing with those brad-pin dolls when you were younger? Their joints were connected by brad-pins and you could move them every-which-way to degrees that were completely unhuman? Yeah, you can do that with her right arm at the elbow. You cannot do it with her left arm. Crud.

What makes this worse is that it's history repeating itself for the 3rd time (thus the three degrees of seperation). I broke my wrist in the 4th grade... my parents didn't believe me. It was THREE DAYS before they took me to the doctor. Lindsey broke her wrist last year and I actually thought she was just doing the hypochondriac thing again (that child feels every stray ache and pain and HAS to tell you about it). Yeah, no, actually a significant fracture. So, you'd think I'd have the good sense to believe my kid when she says she broke her arm. Nah. Now she's got to try and tough it out until morning (which I totally drugged her up with tylenol, so that shouldn't be hard) when I can take her to the urgent care center. Good grief. That is also why I'm wanting to stay up for a little while longer... I'm afraid she's not going to be able to stay asleep...

There's more, but suddenly I just want to veg on the couch, watch my flickering candles (LOVING the downpour candles from Pier One - my house smells like a rainstorm) and listen to the techno I have downloaded by recommendation (Thanks J). I'll write more tomorrow after I get back from the urgent care center. Thank GOD for my job and it's flexibility.
Later, folks...

Ok, so she didn't break her arm, she just dislocated her elbow and caused a sprain. I'd like to say so see, I'm not a complete moron in the parenting department and can retain my "SuperSingleMom" title. But, she DID dislocate it and I sent her to bed with two tylenols. Oy vey! I guess, at the end of the day, I should just be grateful that she's NOT hurt, enjoyed the x-rays (and yes, she did make me take a picture... told you she's a diva!), and thinks I rock because I got her a reeses smoothie from double-dip and chipotle.

Myspace freaked out this morning. This is actually the first time since 7:30 or so that I've been able to log in. It's unnaturally quiet in the bulletin section, too ... it's only when something's gone that you realize that you really are addicted to it.

I'm realizing I've got one BORING weekend ahead of me. My big plans? Entourage. I picked up the DVDs because I liked the season 3 finale and wanted to catch myself up. So, Entourage and Wine... or maybe soju.. either way, not exactly thrilling plans for a kid-free weekend. LOL Might need to do something about that.
Nati wants to snuggle now.. later!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Myspace Migration: There's a Little Bit of Me in There

Current mood:amused
Parent/Teacher conference yesterday went well.. Linds is doing fabulous this year, thus far. Which, of course, makes me happy as a parent. There's some "girl posse" that's causing problems up at school, though - had to talk with Lindsey about that last night. She is not in it (thankfully), but we have entered the age of the 'clique' and she does have her own little group that she's in. The difference between her group and the "girl posse" is that her group is ok with them having friends outside of the group and they don't terrorize those who aren't in it. The "girl posse" (as they call themselves) actually choose people to terrorize and God Help You if you talk with someone outside the group. Total meanness. It's to the point they're sitting all the fourth grade girls down to talk about it. Drama, evidentally, starts young.

So, I really wanted to talk with Lindsey about it (though, I just can't tell you the five shades of relief I went through when her teacher stressed that Lindsey is VERY sweet and has shown no interest in being in that group/nor has she been picked on BY the group yet). I was so proud to be her Mom last night! Her thought process on the subject is pretty much the same as mine: "I don't have to like everyone, but I can still be nice to them. I like myself more when I'm happy to everyone." Awww.. my kid rocks. That's the way I look at life, too - though. Helena calls it being one of the "shiny, happy people." So, I guess my kid's got a little bit of me in there, somewhere.

Nati's asking about acting lessons again. I know there's an acting troupe in Frisco, I really need to get on that and find out where/when lessons are. How is she ever going to be a soap actress if she doesn't get her lessons, she asks?? LOL She's my little diva... She went to bed early last night so she'd get enough "beauty sleep" for her pictures this morning. That was fine by me - I was zonked out. But, it did get a little smirk... So, our family went to bed at 8:30 last night, lol...

Making breakfast pizza for the munchkinerinos this morning... has cinnamon and various fruit, along with cream cheese icing. It's pretty yummy, but not so much diet friendly - so, I'm having special K. Being an adult is so not cool sometimes.
So one of the surveys that went through my group of friends yesterday asked a question about whether or not you'd go out with someone you found physically unattractive. That question... or more specifically, the varying responses, really intruiged me. First of all, "attractiveness" is really subjective, so it was hard to know what that meant to each person. There's no specific standard that says, "If you weigh more than X, Have teeth that look like Y, or don't have Z, you are officially unattractive." What's important to me (eyes, hands, smile and typically height.. it's not intentional, but I do not find myself naturally attracted to people who are shorter than I - I don't see myself as tall) may mean nothing to you. I would so love to send a follow-up survey of "Well, what does 'attractive' mean to each of you? How do you define it?"

To me, there's two halves to "attractive" - there's the physical, and there's the personality/intellect. And really, if you've got one but not the other - your overall attractiveness is affected. I mean, you could be Einstein, but if you weigh 380 pounds, I'm going to have a very hard time imagining myself with you.. in fact, it might scare me a bit. Is that cruel? Maybe a little; but, it's life. Right? On the flip side, though - Adonnis would not be someone I'd want to date. Someone who's really into their physical, but doesn't develop the emotional/intellectual side of their being is actually extremely unattractive to me. But that's probably because an intellectual/emotional connection is really important to me.

Obviously, this is another balance issue (like so many things in life). So what happens when you have to choose? When you have to tip the scales towards one end or the other - which side does it REALLY go to? Obviously, we know that saying "physical attraction" sounds shallow - so most of us would automatically say "oh, of COURSE I'm more interested on the inside." But, is that how it really plays out?

I was with a gal pal a couple of weeks ago. There were these two guys at this table - one of them was cute in a nerdy sort of way (think glasses - which I personally like - dockers, penny loafers) and the other one was more conventionally, metrosexual Dallas attractive. Not quite sure what paired them together, based off the conversations we overheard. The slightly nerdy guy was really much better rounded as an individual and if I were into picking up guys at bars, I'd probably have asked him out. However, I'm not and this was more about her. Anyway, so Steph was really into the metrosexual - and he was quite hot, I don't blame her. But every time he opened his mouth he said something degrading. As I was listening (and maybe that's it, maybe she wasn't ... she seemed pretty focused on his chest), he put down the world and everyone in it. But, that's the one she went for -sauntered over there (after unbuttoning the top button on her blouse - like he couldn't see the mountain of chest she had stuffed in that shirt without that, anyway, lol) and picked him up. If I were interested in being a good wing-man, I would have followed and chatted up the other guy - but, I wasn't because I thought that was the guy she should have been picking up. Anyway, it doesn't suprise me AT ALL that two weeks later she's talking about how he's cute, but there's nothing there intellectually. You think??

More to say, but must get small squirts ready for the stylist now... later... Stylist still hasn't shown up - might have to do this myself - please say a prayer for my girls.. I'm pretty challenged when it comes to this stuff (I straighten my hair when I don't want it curly, that's the extent of my ability to style)! Also, my apologies for the fifteen million reposts of this morning's blog - it's been corrected!

My stylist overslept; so I did it myself. Have pictures up under my pic page in my profile. Also have new pictures of me, in response to the emails (so stop griping, lol).

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Myspace Migration: Tuesday & the 'Back-Up Candidate'

Tuesday, Tuesday
Current mood:awake
I've come to a sad and somewhat twisted realization: I am a total myspace survey addict. Chris is right, there's no denying it. I actually looked forward to seeing who put a survey up last night. And seriously, it was an awesome survey - Thanks Jen! One of these days I'll have to make my own to do.. but, that comes somewhere down on the list of priorities of after I get all my work done, I've finished my book, and have found the secret to world peace. LOL

So, on the topic of kids, it's picture day tomorrow at their school. Lifetouch is doing the photography this year, so they'll be good pictures. But HELLO - It's like $61 dollars PER CHILD for their photo packages!!! What the heck?! But, you've got to get enough not only for yourself, but being the wonderful Single Super-Mom I am, I get enough for their father, his parents, my parents, all 3 sets of great-grandparents, his brother and sister, my brother and the kids friends. Good Lord that's a lot of people. Natalie has decided to go retro and do a '50's thing - poodle skirt and pink striped shirt - it's adorable! Lindsey wants to go Hepburn - sheath dress, seafoam and Jessica Simpson hair. I love my daughters - they can be so girly. So, tomorrow morning my stylist is going to fix their hair before school so they look glam... and they get to take clear lip gloss - so, they're on cloud nine and I'm the bomb. Since the whole experience is going to cost about $170, I darn well better be. LOL

On the subject of relationships, I want to talk about "back-up candidates" today. I'm not knocking the back-up candidate, we all do it - but, I've always seen it through MY filter of having the back-up candidates, never really realizing that I was probably someone else's back-up candidate. I mean, after all, I'm me, right? Of course I'm fabulous and would be first! LOL Anyway, I was hit with the realization yesterday that I was not, in fact, the first girl this guy has met. Since I'm talking to more than one guy, and I don't know this one all that well, I really am not complaining, it was just funny... I've just never really had that brought up to me before. I like his logic though, "We should keep talking because you never know how things are going to turn out." You're right. You don't. He's a nice guy, and you get to make a new friend in the process, which is always a good thing. My question is this: if you're to the point you KNOW who your "back-up candidates" are, are you at the point where you probably don't need to be seeing them? I don't have an answer for this, so it's not really rhetorical... it's probably another one of those "to each thier own" subjective answers. But, like, with me - I don't really have the guys I date categorized into "I like this one the most," or "this guy's second" or that kind of thing. They're just guys that I'm getting to know. Eventually, one of them typically gets sifted towards the top and I realize there's a greater connection or romantic interest or whatever. Then, that's the guy I want to spend my time with - the others get told "Hey, I've met someone and while I'm not opposed to continuing to see you when time permits, it's probably not going to go anywhere... time to look at this as a friends scenario." To me, the very act of identifying someone as a "back-up" pretty much means they're not really the right person for you - or they wouldn't be your back-up... right? But, on the other hand, a lot of this is just timing - can't help who you meet first. So, you can be way down the road of getting to know someone when someone new pops up - do you chuck the investment into the other person? Probably not. Maybe - I mean, I guess it would depend on the new kid on the block - but, probably not. I need more coffee.

Ok, time to go figure out what I'm wearing today (so many skirts, so many decisions) and whether or not I'm going into the office. I've got parent/teacher conferences today, so I'm tempted to work from home. BUT, since I have a meeting with my boss tomorrow, I'm thinking that MIGHT not be the best of ideas...
Oh yeah, is it just me or does Myspace seem buggy lately???

Monday, September 11, 2006

Myspace Migration: Monday Musings

Current mood:contemplative
... SOS please, someone help me.. it's not healthy, for me to feel this.. Y-O-U are making this hard... love that song and it's been stuck in my head most of the day - well, that and "You only Call me When You're Sober." LOL
Busy day today and it's 9/11 to boot. Do you remember where you were? I'm so suprised by the number of people who don't - I was folding clothes, in my bedroom, watching Good Morning America. I remember the footage being thrown up minutes after it happened - I thought it was a movie preview or a hoax. I was in absolute stunned horror when I realized it wasn't - missed a client meeting (they understood, and had stood me up in the confusion, too). Everyone just kind of walked around dazed for a couple of days. I had a very, very good pilot friend and just couldn't be comfortable until I knew that my friend wasn't piloting one of those planes. Then, it was just this overwhelming feeling of "How can I help?" I sent pillows, blankets, canned goods, money - but, it just didn't really make a dent in how I felt or what they needed. It changed so much, that one morning.
It was surreal. I like what my boss said "There is no words to convey what we all experienced [yet] we now stand five years later and life has "moved on." This is what people do. To triumph over tragedy and adversity is one of the beauties of the human condition. Today is a day to spend some time in reflection...To honor those who sacrificed that day and since that day, many of whom gave the ultimate sacrifice, is a moral imperative. There are such wide emotions on the subject of terrorism and 9/11 in particular. I do know that we all agree that we must never forget... Allegedly, above the doorway of one of Mother Theresa's shelters was a plaque. In a world of so much misunderstanding and miscommunication I could think of no more words more fitting for this occasion than the words authored by her on that plaque. IMAGINE a world of people that embody this teaching:

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered: forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives: Be kind anyway.
If you ae successful, you will wind some false friends and true enemies: succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you: be honest and frank, anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight: Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, people may be jealous: Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow: Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough: Give the world the best you've got anyway.
Oh yeah, almost forgot!!! My candidate profiling presentations went VERY well - presented to 2 clients today and they both LOVED it!!! Of course, the fact that I'm giving them MORE service for LESS money might have something to do with it - but, I'd rather think it was my effervescent personality! :p

Saturday, September 9, 2006

Myspace Migration: Moral Responsibility to Your Ex's Kids??

Life is all about the experiences. A million random, yet connected experiences that ultimately culminate in our life We have a responsibility to craft those experiences into something meaningful... but, what happens if we don't? There is this guy that I used to date a while back - no, more than date, we had a fairly significant relationship. Anyway, I have watched his life over the last few years go to hell because he chased the experience. The "feel good experiences," anyway. It's all about what feels good, the 'want,' the thrill, the adrenaline, the rush. I think maybe he needs those to feel alive. I don't know, though. I'm not sure he does, either. But, over the last few years, I watched him go from getting that feeling from putting in a good days work, or making a derby car for his kid to getting it from feeling drunk every weekend (and I mean blitzed, some weekday nights, too), spending money that he doesn't have to delude himself that he can, getting crazy - whether his kids were there or not. He's happy with the experiences he's created. Sort of - the deal is, though, you always pay the piper. So, he gets the thrill experience and then he gets the crash - which, by the very nature of my being, I always dealt with for him. Eventually, I just looked at it and pulled out. Not for my preservation - it didn't really negative impact me, I kept enough distance to stay safe.. but, it really was just sad to watch. To what degree do we sacrifice morality, responsibility, ourselves to enjoy an experience?

I guess I fall on the other side of the spectrum. It'd probably do me good to get out there a little more, take a few more risks - which is probably why I was with him to begin with. He pulled me out of my comfort zone of being 'the responsible one.' At first, I liked the risks because they were little things like dropping everything and going to Granbury for the day because we could and crazy midnight meetings for coffee at some random place on a weeknight. I know, it's tame, but it wild for me at the time. LOL But, I couldn't see ultimately self-destructing to chase an hour or two of "fun" and "feel-good." So, I didn't go much further on the risk ride. I'm ok with that. Most of the time, anyway. ;)

But, part of me wonders, if I really have the right to judge his actions, his morality. To the extent of whether or not I personally want to be involved, sure. That's my responsiblity, even - but, what about whether or not I help his ex-wife change his custody like she'd like me to? Don't get me wrong, I don't like her, either - I think she's got a million hidden agendas that I don't trust and she'll throw you under the bus just for the giggles in it. But, I don't doubt that she really wants what she believes is best for those children and she wants to provide stability for them. She doesn't have wierd people bouncing in and out of their lives, she doesn't get so drunk that she pees on the floor in front of them, she doesn't endager her children or their friends with her irresponsibility. He does, or at least did when I knew him & that type of behavior is why I decided I no longer needed to. From what I've heard, that hasn't changed over the last couple of months.

The majority of me screams to stay out of this - just don't cooperate because it's not my life, they're not my kids. But, there's this little niggling voice that says we have a responsibility to help those who can't help themselves and that there's a social responsibility to the situation. What would I want if I were in her situation, trying to get my kids out of a bad scenario?? Wouldn't I want someone who had first hand knowledge to help? I just don't want to be involved, though - that's why I'm no longer in his world. Still wouldn't be if his ex-wife hadn't called. Would I be selfish for just staying out of it? - I really don't need the drama.

Ack. That's making my head hurt. No more of that for now. Part of me wishes I had stayed out a little later and went dancing last night. Maybe not the cage dancing Adam suggested (LOL - oh to be young - though that secretly looks somewhat intruiging), but still - it's so much fun to feel the music vibrating through your being. I couldn't though, my contacts were peeling, LOL. And, of course, I left my glasses at home. Maybe next week I'll go. For now I have to get ready for that lunch meeting.
Ciao for now.

Thursday, September 7, 2006

Myspace Migration: Investments & the Relationship Mutual Fund

Current mood:energetic
Thanks for the subject matter emails - I got a fairly resounding response of "talk about dating and the male/female relationship." Cool - I'm trying to work something out in my head, anyway... so here you go (we'll work it out together):
So, while I was working out this morning, I thought about the guy I had just sent a "let's call a spade a spade and agree this just isn't working out" email to last night. Nice guy, wish him the best and hopefully we can still be friends - just wasn't the right guy for me. Too many compromises I had to make, too many different things to get past, and not enough equitable investment.

Investment. What a funny word to use in conjunction with dating, no? It sounds like something that would come with a mutual fund or later in a relationship. But, the truth of the matter is that there is one; pretty much from day one. I guess it kind of hit me when I went on this lunch date this weekend. The guy I went out with (great guy by the way, whom I'm looking forward to getting to know better) talked about how he reads my blogs. Flattering, to be sure. And, that sounds like a little thing, but it is an investment of time. Probably about 5 minutes a day, but when you add that up over time, it adds up. He invested his time into reading what I wrote to gain insight into me, into my life (though he says he enjoys it, dear guy! LOL) I remember dating this artist a while back. Really intense guy; a little too much so for me, actually. But, art was very important to him, so I made a point of studying it so that I could speak intelligently about it with him. I invested my time to understand his passion and ultimately, understand what drove him.

I guess time is our initial investment. But, is the giving of time in and of itself an emotional investment? Is time itself enough to create an attachment? I don't know, but I don't think so. It seems to me like time is the currency we use to buy shares of the fund. Without it, you can't invest. But, the actual stock comes after the purchase.

So, once we've invested our time... we get beyond the fascia. We bare parts of our souls, typically the parts we feel will be either the best or worst received, depending on your perspective (Some people try to kill the deal up front, some people try to cement it). We buy 100 shares. Then, we do what all good investors do - we think about our purchase. So, even when the person we're dating isn't there, they're on our mind (to a degree). That leads to doing little thoughtful things for them ~ sending a card, calling for no reason other than to say they're on our mind ~ that kind of thing. And they're all good things to do. They drive the stock up to invest further, bare more, create an interest to make each other a priority.

But then what? The deal with mutual funds is that it's an investment intended to be long-term. You buy the stock, it goes up a little, down a little - and you just sit there. You watch it. To an extent, you do the same thing in a relationship: you meet someone, you get to know each other better, you have good times/bad times and you roll with it. But, to really foster a relationship, there has to be this continual investment of time, energy, interest, and commitment.

Commitment. Another word that so many of us single folk view as 'bad.' Feels like a binding agent. And it is, but it isn't. To have a relationship, there has to be a level of commitment to each other. First, it's a commitment to get to know one another. If that goes well, it becomes a commitment to foster a singular relationship. Ultimately, if that goes well, there's the commitment to up the ante (move in, get married, whatever). At that point, there's the commitment to remain continually invested into the emotional well-being of another person. A more permanent commitment. That's the one we're all a little scared of, I think. But, it's a gradual series of commitment. At each level we're given the option of saying, "No, this isn't going to work," sell our stock, and get out. Like I did last night.
But, that brings it back to time. How much time do you need to know these things? I mean, to really give it a fair shot? That's always my concern.. if I just go out on ONE more date, or have ONE more conversation - will I see/hear something that will make it all make sense? I want to be fair to the person that's investing in me.

When does it 'click?' If anyone has the answer, I'd love to know! Because, to me, that's the part that's exhausting - especially when you're getting to know more than one person at a time. I often do (if you read my blogs, you've already gotten my perspective on dating; if you haven't, go back to late July/early August somewhere - it's in there)... and so I have to balance what I'm feeling at the moment emotionally with one person and the other people I'm getting to know. Because if I'm not equally invested in one person, yet I'm spending time with them, it's taking time away from the others. (I'll concede I'm getting a little lost in my own logic at this point, but hopefully you get what I mean) At some point, it feels like noone gets a fair shot. Including me. So, to recap, here are the questions to which I'm trying to find answers:

How invested, emotionally, should we be in someone else?

How soon should we invest or pull out?

Time - who gets it, how much do they get, and how much do you need at each level?
Realistically, I think that answer is probably different for each of us - but, I'd love to hear what your answers are, anyway... ok, it's time to get ready for the day. The munchkins are getting cinnamon rolls this morning!

I think the easy answer is that you invest what feels good to invest. For me, I have a bad habit of continuing to invest even after I get the little warning flags that maybe this fund is tanking - you know, the little signs you get that maybe you two aren't so compatible or on the same wavelength after all? I always tell myself it's just me being distant; I don't like to rush into things, so I often distance myself somewhat in the beginning. Not always, but often. So, I second guess the warning signs. And then I feel like an idiot for not paying attention to them sooner when I'm completely worn out on the relationship! LOL

To Helena's point, there is a balance. It's like the "signs they're not into you" post - if it's all one way, that's not a good thing. And it's not just time and attention. You can get lots of time and attention from someone; but, if you're not emotionally in the same place, it really doesn't matter. Maybe that's why so many of us are still single - it's not easy to find someone charting the same course, on the same kind of vessel that you can sail with! Ok, bad analogy, but you get my point...
Time to go to work.. more later...

Monday, September 4, 2006

Book Excerpt: Mrs. Kravitz & the Neighbors

Book Excerpt - Mrs. Kravitz and the Neighbors...
By request, here's an excerpt from one of the chapters of my book (should I ever finish it). They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so let me say I totally ripped the footnote idea from Jen Lancaster. It makes it so much easier to create lucidity. Thank you, Jen, and should it get finished and published, I'll thank you formally and shamelessly plug your fabulous writing. So, the footnotes at the end are my little thoughts on the subject. Please do let me know what you think...Seriously. I like criticism, I welcome it, so negative thoughts are ok, too.. email, comment, whatever!

I don't know if it's something we all have on our streets, and so I would have had one anyway; but, I have a "Mrs. Kravitz." Ever watch Bewitched? Great show, wish I could do the wrinkly-nose thing - that was too cute! At any rate, on the show there was the nosy neighbor Mrs. Kravitz. She would actually peer through the windows with Binoculars to get an idea of what was going on in the Stevens' house. In all of the places I have lived before, I have never had a "Mrs. Kravitz" - but, now that I'm single, I do! She has made it her mission in life, it seems, to know what's going on in my life and then to make sure all the "appropriate people" know about it. Which usually means my other neighbors. Gossip, being what it is, is so much fun that by the time it makes it back to me it's a wonder I'm not infamous in my own neighborhood.

When we first moved in, we took our time. It was not a "done in one weekend" kind of move. In fact, we didn't really finish moving into this house until someone was ready to move into the last one. Then there was a very hectic running-around-and-throwing-things-into-cars weekend. I guess, with all the stuff being shuttled over, it looked like I was packing up. It must have, because my friend (and coincidentally, landlady) got a call to inform her that I was packing up and heading out! So, now that I've set the scene, let's join in on the television show already in progress:

Phone rings. Why does the phone always ring when there's something in my hands? It's like it knows it's going to be a bad/difficult time to answer, so it's time to ring. So, I set down the Ginormous piece of artwork that I'm trying desperately not to nick on a wall, and answer. "Crystal's moving service, we're here to please... how can I help you?"

"Oh my God, so it IS true? Why are you moving??? I just got a call from one of the neighbors that you were packing up... I didn't believe it..." It's Liz, my landlady. I like Liz. She's fun, she's about my age, and her boyfriend is a Cop. Built in security; you've gotta love that.

"I'm not moving OUT. I'm moving stuff IN. Someone rented out the other house this weekend and I've got to get the rest of my junk out of there. WHO told you I was moving out??"

"You know - it's Mrs. Kravitz." Ok, so if I wasn't sweaty, preoccupied, and on a rather tight deadline... I probably would have found that funny. I am all of those things, though; so, really, I'm just annoyed. "She called me at work. She was very concerned that you were going to leave me high and dry. Told me she saw you in the driveway loading the car and then you went away, came back and there was a whole new set of stuff the next time she came out.

I'm floored. Do people really have nothing better to do? Maybe I should be flattered? Am I that exotic? Either way, Liz was waiting for a response and so now is not the time to ponder that. "Ok, seriously, if she's going to spy, she should pay better attention. I was taking stuff OUT of my car, not putting it in. People should mind their own business; I love this house, I'm buying it from you and you're going to have to bury me in it.. unless I ever get married again.. which at this point, is doubtful. But, if I do, I will STILL have this house, we'll just rent it out. Don't listen to Mrs. Kravitz. Can I finish unloading my car now? Because I've got like 12 more trips to go and I'm running out of daylight, and more importantly, patience."

Liz laughs. "Ok girl, I knew I had nothing to worry about... give me a call later if you need anything." Again, I like Liz, but I have to laugh a little, too. Because the reality is if she REALLY did know, she wouldn't have called. That's the trouble with the Mrs. Kravitz types.. they spin their stories in such a way that you have to wonder a bit. I'm sure, at first, she knew it was bunk... but, over time, it ate on her. And that's what the Kravitz people count on!


Two weeks later, I had my first official guest. Andy, my best friend, was coming over to the house. Now, why his brother Jim, whom I'm dating, isn't the first person over, I really couldn't say. And maybe I should ponder THAT fact a little more? It gets added to the list of stuff to figure out (1) and I continue lighting candles.

I'm ALL about ambience. I think that you should pay attention to what makes your guests comfortable and then do it. You want your house to be a place people enjoy being at, right?? Andy always has candles lit at his house, music playing in the background and he likes a shot of Jager on arrival. Since I like all those things, minus the Jager (2), I really have no problem setting things up that way.

I've tripped over ten toys. Now, our house is laid out in such a way that there is somewhat of a division between "Kiddy-world" and "Adult-land." Can't say the two never shall meet, because the girls and I DO play games downstairs and when we watch the Disney Channel or a movie together, it's typically in the living room. So, one or two forgotten things does not bother me. (3) There is very little reason, though, to find anything down here. Ten things is beyond rediculous and since Mr. Bunny made me darn near drop my red wine on my light brown carpet, I am not amused. But, of course, the kids aren't here to reprimand (4), so it gets added to the pile of things on the stairs for them to address later.

Andy comes over and we have a lovely evening listening to music and drinking far too much wine. He's had jager too, of course; so he's too blitzed to drive home when I shut things down in about an hour. I offer him the couch (5) to signal that it's time for him to think about whether or not he should drink any more. He's outside smoking on the front porch (6). "Nah man, thanks - I'll just drive over to Jim's where I can crash on Brenda's bed." he slurs back, far too loudly for the middle of the night. Have you ever noticed everything is more quiet after midnight? That's because the rest of the world is sleeping... I hope that didn't wake up Mrs. Kravitz.
I'm ok with him driving to Jim's. He lives in the neighborhood and at this hour, there's very little chance that Andy's going to run over any small children. As I'm finishing up this train of thought, I'm interrupted by "Hey Crystal, come check OUT the SIZE OF THIS BUG!!! THIS IS THE BIGGEST roach I've EVER seen! Oh, look.. he's running away. Quick! HELP ME FIND THIS ROACH - I CAN'T FIND MY ROACH." Oh dear God, I've got to get out there before half the neighborhood thinks I'm either a druggie or a drug-dealer.

"Andy, shut UP! People are sleeping and I don't want them waking up to 'I can't find MY roach.' Since when do bugs belong to you anyway, and what the hell am I paying Terminix for??" With that, I drag him back in the house, scanning for lights that have been flipped on in the homes of my neighbors. Still dark. Maybe I'm ok. The roach has evidentally run off into the landscaping. At least it didn't run into my house. So, it's time for Andy to go... I feel like I'm babysitting at this point and I'm ready to go to bed.

Morning comes all too soon. Fortunately, I rarely get drunk, so I have no hang-over. I'm not, however, ready for the phone call that greets me before 8 am. It's Liz. "Hey lady, whatcha' doing??" Without a pause to let me answer, she continues, "Dallas traffic sucks and I heard you had a really good time last night."

"What are you doing in Dallas on a Saturday morning??" The fog of sleep lifts from my brain long enough to digest the second half of what she said, "What? Wait a minute... how did YOU know... damnit. Mrs. Kravitz?"

"Girl, you know you can't do anything without that woman knowing about it. She said you had some strange guy's truck over there.. not Jim's car. Are there details to dish?"

"Yeah. It's Andy - Jim's brother - so no story to tell there." I pause and thinking through, ask with great hesitation..."Did she mention anything about a roach??"
(1) along with world peace, how to pay for Nikki's horseback riding lessons or if she should even have them, and about 1200 other "to-dos."
(2.) I'd just as soon drink wine
(3.) However, they have a loft area set up with a small living space (TV, coffee table, bookshelves, chairs) in addition to two very good-sized rooms and closets any female over 5 would envy.
(4.) There is nothing wrong with reprimanding your children; this is teaching them, and in fact, part of the job description. It does NOT make you a "bitch" or a bad parent, contrary to the beliefs of some. It will, most likely, help keep your kids from being on "America's Most Wanted" or divorced 10 times some day.
(5.) He is, after all, my best friend and so that is part of the job description.
(6.) I don't smoke. Between not smoking myself, having allergies, and an asthmatic child, I don't allow it in my home, either. Gotta do that on the porch and don't you leave your spent butts in my landscaping. I have an urn for that, thank you.