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Saturday, June 18, 2011

GDE. Week One: Diving in Feet First

Turns out, Nick wasn’t at all stymied by my utter display of klutziness.  He called again, rather late, under the guise of checking on me.  1:45am is STILL super late to be calling; even moreso since our date ended at 10pm.  Seriously, I was in so.much.pain.  I came home, used a Lush Marathon bath bar (1) and soaked for ages.  Pruny would be a kind descriptor for how I looked when I finally emerged from my bathroom… but, kind of makes sense given I was in the tub for over two hours.

It took me a minute to realize that he was not as concerned about my well-being as he was just a little bit weird.  He started off by asking about my feet.  Makes sense, as everything on me hurt and we had gone ice-skating, right?? But then, he kept talking about my feet. And how he’d love to rub them… and kept going until he reached the point where he was talking about actually sucking on them.  Gah-rooooss. I'm a pretty clean person -maybe obsessively so- but that still waxes unhygienic to me.  When the lightbulb finally came on as to his little foot fettish?  I couldn’t get off the phone fast enough… literally.  I wish I had managed it a minute or two faster; because I didn’t hit ‘END’ before he got out, “I’d really like to see you again – think the babysitter could come back?”

“Nick, it’s 1:45 in the morning; no, pretty sure the babysitter can’t come back.  Besides, even if she could?  By the time I got to civilization everything would be closed.”

"My place never closes; you could wear those sexy heels you had on earlier and I could take them off of you… with my teeth.” (2)

“OhMyGawd, Nick.. Stop.  Seriously, Gross.  First of all, I barely know you. Beyond that, no self-respecting woman would let you touch her Louboutins with your teeth.  Get real.”

“But-”  *CLICK*

Nick never got to finish that statement. When I hit the ‘END’ button on the conversation?  I decided I was also ending our week -  oh well, maybe week two will hold more potential.  Back to the inbox.

(1) Lush, I’m not sure I’ll ever completely forgive you for taking those off the market.  BRING THEM BACK!!!  www.lush.com check out their bath bombs and bars.  Fan-freaking-tastic.

(2) never.ever.never.ever

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