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Monday, April 28, 2008

Myspace Migration: Talk About Random

So, I was having a perfectly lovely, boring evening - emailing my boss back and forth about a couple of different things when the phone rings. I look at the number, and thought, "Oh, this must be the people with the house I'm looking at - they were going to try and call today and update me about their own house search..." (since I've determined I'm moving in June, I've suddenly gotten pretty serious about it). Um, no.

"Hey Crystal, It's [Bob the Builder]. Do you remember me?"

"Um, no. Help me out here."

"We went to high school together, we dated... remember?"

"Ooooooh, yeah, I remember you now. It's been awhile - like a decade or so."

So, we chatted for awhile and then it occured to me - I'm chatting with someone on the phone that I have NOW, that I haven't talked to in 12 years. "Um, [Bob]? Please don't take this the wrong way, but out of curiousity, how did you get my number?"

"Well, don't think this is stalkerish or anything, but I actually got your number from [Tim the Toolman Taylor.] Remember him from high school? (no)Anyway, he's a cop - in drug enforcement - and I had him look up your information."

OoooKay. Is that flattering? Or creepy? Or both? I can't decide. But I know it threw me off slightly that someone who didn't know my married name was calling me on my current work cell. He did let me know that he found out my married name through reunion.com, so I guess that makes a little more sense?

Maybe more about this later; I must go do fabulous things at the office!!!

(1) Can I just say that the comments that came off this blog were WAY more fun than the blog itself?? And that whole thing is just still super creepy... Here's some of the comments though - hello, Prom Memories!:

    • 3 years ago

    Oooooh, who was it, did I know him. We had some of the same friends. Ws he with us at Prom?

    3 years ago
      Crystal Miller

      Well, I was infinitely more cool, that's for certain. :) The picture was taken OF us that night by the guy who didn't want to dance with me because I was too risque (hahahaha) with my dancing (hahahahaha). I found it in a box in your room like a month later.

      You were WAY more fun to hang out with than Mike, but I'm glad you talked me into going with him anyway, because I had a good time with you that night. :D

        3 years ago

        I don't remember the picture. But yes, Sarah and I went to prom and was a frickin' disaster. We had nothing in common and she bugged the crap out of me, so I ditched her with Mike and hung out with you.

          3 years ago
          Crystal Miller

          Didn't you go to prom with Sarah, I went with Micheal, he went with Amy - and then I hung out with you, Amy was with who... I thought Sarah was with him most of the evening? And the big bald guy was ticked that I spent the evening with you and not Micheal -

          Seriously, I didn't know I had memories of ANY of that until ... well... I got that phone call at 10:30 last night. Though I do remember dancing with you and I loved the picture you had.. who took that?

            3 years ago
            Crystal Miller

            Um, yes, yes he was... with Amy, the pantsuit wonder-girl. :)

              3 years ago

          Friday, April 18, 2008

          Myspace Migration: EX-Communicated

          Ok, so they're your "Ex-" for a reason. Clearly, there are issues. For many ex-couples, one of them is communication. And I? Am not excluded from that group. My ex-husband and I have such a hard time communicating! Of course, it would be easy for me to say that a large part of it is his complete inability to play any role outside of a martyr...
          (Ok, so that wasn't quite gender correct because he IS a guy, but admit it! It's funny) It doesn't matter what we're talking about or how skewed he is from reality, that man is ALWAYS the victim and NEVER wrong. Frustrating as all get-out. But, more to the point of the conversation, we have the 'ex-' communication barrier going.
          When you break up with a boyfriend/girlfriend, they can disappear into the ether and you'll never have to speak with them again if you don't want to. If you don't share children, you can do the same with your ex-spouses, after the dust dies down and the finances are split, etc. But, when you have children with someone, you're connected to them FOR LIFE. It's, truly, the BEST example of a 'life sentence!' So how do you communicate in a healthy way with someone you clearly don't have a healthy relationship with?
          1. Listen. If your spouse wants to talk to you about something, you need to shut up and REALLY listen. When they've finished a subject, then you can tell them how you're perfect and they don't know anything.
          But, what else? I'm out of time, but I know there's more steps to properly communicating with your ex... want to add to the list?

          Tuesday, April 15, 2008

          Myspace Migration: If it Takes a Village...

          ... then can I pick and choose which Villagers are involved? Because really, some of the neighbors that comprise the 'Village' of people that have been around my kids kind of makes me raise an eyebrow. Let me introduce you to the myriad of neighborhood villagers that we've dealt with over the years:

          Crazy Cat Lady - Every neighborhood has one. Maybe it's not specific to just cats - maybe it's just more of a generic "animal lady." WE had a cat lady -- the woman had at least 7 different cats that lived at her house, and I don't know how many neighborhood strays that woman fed. It was a strange chorus that played each night, courtesy of our feline neighbors. Her whole house just kind of smelled...it was so strong you could smell it from the sidewalk. It.SERIOUSLY.was not right. As I was fairly convinced that stepping on her property might cause my family to contract some sort of animal illness, the kids were strictly forbidden from going on, or near, her property.

          Don Juan de Yuckko - This one was tougher, as he was the father of a few of my kids' friends. This guy just didn't understand the concept of being married (which, was unfortunate, since he WAS married). What's worse, the man was not attractive - and kept telling me over and over that his 'heritage' required him to be this way (as I frequently asked him why he thought I would be interested in a married man, given I was single). He was constantly trying to "help me" with things, since I was this helpless single woman. Pffft. I'm a single, modern woman with a brain and a checkbook. Anything I can't handle myself, I'll hire someone to take care of. Anyway, as this guy was clearly lacking in any sort of moral compass, I wouldn't want him included in the "village" of people who influenced my children.

          Rambo Rob - I actually have no idea if this is his name, as I'm a little too frightened to talk to him. But, it's what I call him all the same. This neighbor owns a private detective agency; and the number of cars, gadets, and surveillance is unnerving. The other day, he had a camera out on a tripod in front of one of his prop vehicles. It was.just.sitting.there. I don't know if it was recording something, or if he forgot it was there (which I doubt that), or what... but, when I got back? Still there. Sorry, I find that kind of creepy. That and the fact that I never see either of them outside unless they're having their cars washed, and even then, I don't really SEE them. Just the people washing the cars. There's just something kind of creepy about it. Are they watching me? Are they vampiric and only come out at night and that's why I never see them?

          Mother of SAM - You know, like the parents of the 'son of sam?' Ok, I know that's kind of lame; but, there's this one kid in the neighborhood that I'm pretty sure there's even money on him becoming the next major serial killer. The kid is MESSED up. He's spent the better part of the year in alternative school; yet, his Mother? She thinks he's an angel. It wouldn't be so shocking if the child wasn't in the THIRD GRADE. Anyone that deluded is out of the village.

          The Plastics - You know, the perfect people - the McDonalds Millionaires that want everyone to think they're perfect, so any hint of imperfection must immediately be purged. So, when the Parent's poor daughter gets a bubble butt... what is their solution? Plastic-freaking-surgery. I have no idea where they're going to have it done, but they've told their 10 year old they'll fix her butt with liposuction. It's really no wonder why their daughter is obsessed with her self-image and I won't be a bit suprised when the girl ends up either anorexic or over 400 pounds in about 20 years. There's another set in our neighborhood now that wants their daughter to have the lap band surgery. While she is pretty tubby, isn't Weight Watchers for kids a healthier way to go???

          What neighbors would you keep out of "The Village to Raise Your Kids?"

          Friday, April 11, 2008

          Myspace Migration: Back Off, He's Mine! Positive Emotional Memory Post Break-up

          Have you ever noticed that you like him so much more when there's someone else who likes him, too? Or, you never really noticed how desireable she is until there's that guy in the bar who can't take his eyes off her... Why is that? What is with our emotional memory that "The Good Times" become such a compelling force after we've moved on and they're with someone else?

          I was talking to a really good friend of mine today. She's wonderful and a really great friend. She was telling me about her 'on-again' relationship (it's not on-again/off-again, but they broke up and are now back together). One of the things that struck me is that they both really appreciated each other when other people were interested in them. She realized how much he meant to her when there was some other woman that her ex- returned a modicum of sentiment for. I know that some time ago, he really took her for granted and they broke up. AFTER she had started dating someone else, he realized what he had overlooked.

          Does it really take an ending for most people to have their 'emotional memory' of the good times kick in? Theoretically, shouldn't we be able to really appreciate what we have while we have it? My friend and her boyfriend are certainly not alone. Indeed, as I write this, I'm snuggled in with an old ex- of mine (totally a PG thing, so get your mind out of the gutter)... clearly, we have something of the same thing going on. When we're not together, we can appreciate the other's positive attributes - when we date, it's hideous. Life gets in the way, we aren't what the other one needs, and we break up. So now, we're very good friends and it's better that way. So, I guess I do it a little bit, too.... but why? I've talked to him about the guy or two that I tend to get jealous over when they're dating someone new.. and the goofy things I tend to do when I have to deal with it.

          With me, I tend to conveniently forget their names. Seriously, I DO actually forget it half the time. If I were to analyze it (and I guess I am), it trivializes their importance to whomever the guy in question is. Of course, it's total bullox, but it works for me. Kind of the "I care, but not really..." sort of thing. The aforementioned gal pal? She calls the girls in her exes lives a rather not nice name. My snuggly friend? He points out all the shortcomings in the new men in the lives of the ex-girlfriends he's still jealous over (and it does make me feel slightly good that I'm one of them - hey, I'm human!). I've had discussions with both on this very subject, and we all agree that it's not because we want them back - we just don't completely know how to be completely forgetful of the positive memories WE have of them, and don't want anyone else to have better ones with them. Petty? yes. Human. Absolutely - I think, anyway. What about you?

          I'd write more, but the major benefit of being able to snuggle with someone is falling asleep on them. My tylenol has totally kicked in, so I think I'm going to take advantage of that now... besides, he's griping about the laptop! :D

          Monday, April 7, 2008

          Myspace Migration: Entering the Twilight Zone

          Maybe it’s because I was pent up this weekend. Maybe I have spring fever. Maybe I just have a screw loose... but, oh my I have a mischevous streak going here, I think.
          On my express road to the dark side, I’ll start with my turning in the jerk that INSISTS on driving the wrong way down my street EVERY day just after I drop the kids off. I totally dropped the dime on them today (is that how you say it)? Take that, crappy mazda who endangers my life on a daily basis!

          My brain stopped working today. I mean LITERALLY just stopped working in the middle of this project I’m working on. Totally fabulous. So, I took a ’surf-the-web’ break. I may, or may not, have sent wicked messages to someone just for the heck of it. It’s about time someone explained playtex that it’s kind of gross to have bra commercials where overweight women talk about being ’stacked’ and how they store gummi bears in their bras. I mean, that’s EXACTLY who I want to emulate when I think about bra buying, "Oh, let me buy the bra that makes me feel like the housefrau who sits around eating bon bons all day while storing gummi bears in her bra for the movies. Yuuuum." Um, NO! I’m thinking about lift, seperate (or squish, depending on the outfit), and lacy.. something that looks good when being taken OFF... Not that I DO that kind of thing, lol. No, no.. not me.

          I pulled into the HOV lane of mischevious/bad when I went to get dinner. Bev wanted Chipotle. I went to THREE. NONE NONE NONE of them had parking spaces.

          Seriously??? We live in Dallas, there are more resteraunts per capita here than in New York City... and everyone in Dallas was at Chipotle. Tonight. Before 6. It had been a long day. I faxed in an order to the Frisco location. Would have been great to get, except there were NO. NO. NO. NO parking spaces. Forget that. Soooo, I stopped by the one in Plano. The line was out the door. Um, no. Go to the one on El Dorado and Voila! Parking space, people aren’t standing outside. Good sign.
          Ha.haha.hahahahaha. There was some kind of youth thing going on - the line didn’t go out the door, but it did wrap around the resteraunt. So, I totally did something cornering on not funny bad - I totally faked my order. "um, I faxed in an order a while ago? Last name ------?" They didn’t have it *shock* - but, they offered to not make me wait through all of those kids and build it for me now! Technically, I didn’t lie as I didn’t say I faxed it THERE, only faxed it - but, that’s a total cop-out rationalization. In true Crystal form, though, I couldn’t pull it off. I did squeal on myself - the cashier laughed and said that was funny. I got a free drink out of the deal, too. :D

          Has anyone seen these Alli pills/commercials? What exactly would make someone want to take a pill that neccessitates having a ’spare set of clothes’ (check out their message boards) because you might *yuck* leak *yuck.* I’d rather take the Master Cleanse diet stuff that Beyonce did and I’m pretty sure that’s bad for you, too.
          Finally, there was a fabulous exchange with a guy on the dating site - I’ll have to put it up on a seperate post - but, it’s a great example of what bored and sassy will accomplish.

          Sunday, April 6, 2008

          Myspace Migration: Eenie, Meenie, Minee... Whoa! Too Many Choices!

          Current mood:curious

          You know what?? I kind of miss the days of life being black and white. When you are a child, it’s pretty much a ’yes/no,’ ’wrong/right’ scenario no matter what you do. Your grades are either ’good’ or ’bad,’ ’acceptable’ or ’not.’ Someone’s your friend or their not (which, by the way, can change by the day or even hour) - all in all, life’s not terribly complicated.

          Fast forward to being an adult; and it seems like very little in life is that simple. Sometimes it’s because we make it more complicated than it needs to be, but very often our ’adult life’ choices are just more involved. Things are now judged by degrees of ’right’ or ’better,’ ’wrong’ or ’worse.’ Over the last few weeks, with work, I’ve been immersed in choices of degrees. So much so, that I think I’m now looking at everything that way! Whether it be work, Guys, what to fix for dinner, which church I should go to, what city I should live in, which extra-curricular activity is really going to provide the most benefit to the girls down the road, whether I should add in highlights/low lights to my hair, should I see a trainer or just go back to my old program that had proven results? Too many choices!

          I think I need a break from options, choices, and intense thought. Could someone else just direct me and tell me what to do for awhile? I couldn’t even make up my mind on what I wanted to drink this morning without a 10-minute internal discussion on the pros/cons of each option given my caffine hiatus (read: caffine reduction, because I can’t really give up java with caffine and even my pain reliever has caffine in it!).