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Friday, September 29, 2006

Myspace Migration: Gender Roles - Traditional Become Not So?

Current mood:calm
For whatever reason, Gender Roles has been a hot-button issue in my life over the last few days. It started a few days ago when I was asked if "traditional gender role-playing" would be important to me in a relationship. Hmmm... can't say I've ever had a guy ask me that before. And honestly, I had never thought about it. Is it important to me that a guy be handy around the house or that I be allowed to run the keeping of the household?? Do I really care whether or not he makes the perfect pot roast and I'm the one changing the oil?? In 2006, how big of an issue is this to anyone, really (I know I really hadn't put any thought to it before)?

So, I thought. I've determined I really don't care one way or another, as long as it makes sense. Personally, while I can change my own oil, I don't - Car Spa does that for me AND washes it, thank you (best 20 dollars I spend). Why do I do that? Because I don't want to.. it's not how I want to spend my time. So, why would I fault a guy for feeling the same way just because he's the "Guy" in the relationship? Also, I tend to hire a housekeeper when I'm in a relationship? Why? Because I don't want to spend time that I could be spending with my guy cleaning my house. I CAN do it, but again, the $60 spent is worth it to me because I'm able to (in my opinion) better spend my time elsewhere. And if that offends my guy, well - he probably doesn't need to be MY guy, because he obviously doesn't get me. Everything else, I guess it's just whatever makes sense - if he's better at the finances and wants to manage them (obviously, this is WAAAY down the relationship track) - then yippee.. but, I wouldn't want to be cut out entirely, nor would I want to hand them over to a guy who is incapable of balancing his checkbook just so he could feel manly. Seems stupid. In the year of 2006, when both men and women tend to work and "equality" is so widely-touted, it seems silly to me to assign duties based off of traditional ideas of what's appropriate for one sex over another. That being said, I DO think he should mow the lawn (or hire someone to do it).

But, maybe there is a little bit of antiquation (is that even a word??) in me yet. I guess I do believe that if you choose to stay home, you should be in charge of running it. Now, notice how I've worded that: you're in charge of running it. If you choose to hire someone to clean it, I think that as long as it's in the budget that you and your S.O. have set for the house, you should be able to do it. I think housekeepers are more about time-saving than chore-aversion. I'd hope you were doing something sensical with your time (being with your children, volunteering, whatever) as opposed to eating bon-bons and watching TV... but, you get the idea. My ex-husband wanted to stay home before our marriage disinegrated. I had no problem with that, but I felt at that point it was his responsibility to maintain the upkeep of the house, the yard, and the cooking. After all, it had been my responsibility on top of whatever other endeavors I chose to undertake... just seemed fair.

But what about gender-bias/gender-identity outside the home? Today on Good Morning America, they did a segment on the gender-discrimination in the scientific community. How big of an issue is this really for the majority of us on a day-to-day basis? Are there women still pushing their way into a "good ol' boy community" and men desperate to break into the "girls club?" I guess ... but, does it really hinder us? I know the industry I recruit for is considered to be the "good ol' boy network" - but, as a chick, I've had NO problem breaking through. Why? Because I'd like to think that at the end of the day, it's about your professionalism and the job you do... not whether or not you look good in a skirt. I find it hard to believe that anyone would truly believe you were somehow less capable because of your sex - there are fabulous men designers, there are phenomenal women executives... can anyone really be that limited in their thinking? Maybe I've just had a charmed existence??

Anyway, I'd love to say more, but I am going to attempt to get some work done today, since I'm feeling somewhat more myself this morning.

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