I've heard it said that life is all about what happens in the space between... the space between thoughts, the space between the beginning and the end. Life's all about the middle. So, if you're in balance with your life, I guess you're hanging out in the thick of things, right? And, to follow that thought further, if that's the case, I'm out of balance with life. For I am excellent at playing The Alpha and Omega.
I tend to begin and end things, I guess. There's always some new adventure starting or some crisis that I'm shutting down. It's what I do - even my very job is largely about beginnings. I'm comfortable with that role. Well, today I played both Alpha and Omega... created a new adventure for myself and ended an old relationship.
My market is changing at work. In fact, I will say that as of today, my business has completely recycled. Gotta start all over again. And while I'm not thrilled, it's not going to kill me. And, if anything, it gives me a chance to build things up again MY WAY. So, it's almost a challenge. I'm going to re-tool the way I do my business and focus on more operations than anything else. Once it's established, it should make things easier. But, I think for the next month or two I'm going to need a LOT of coffee and will be putting much change into the swear jar.
Ended a relationship today. That's always hard to do. Wasn't serious with the guy, so it wasn't like I killed this big thing - we weren't seeing each other exclusively, but still.. he was hopeful and that made me a little sad for him. I don't like hurting people's feelings. But, it just wasn't going to work and I saw no reason to perpetuate the situation. He took it well, overall; did ask if there was someone else to which I said, "No, but there is the idea of someone else and really, isn't that enough? I mean, if I know it's not you, isn't that all that really needs to be said?" And I think that's true - there are too many people willing to settle in life. He's a great guy, he's just not MY Guy. And I don't need to settle; I'm happy with my life now. It wouldn't be fair to him, anyway... I think everyone deserves to find the person that is their best friend, the person that looks at them and is just in awe at how lucky they are to be with them. Not because they're any better than you are - but because they're them - being who they are is perfect for you. I know that sounds quite pie-in-the-sky, and it's not to say you wouldn't have days/times where you want to rip that ideal person's nose off - but, nonetheless, I think it's findable. And for me, it's going to be someone who can make a decision to save their soul. Which, means it's NOT this guy. Note to self: it really is quite pleasant to end things over coffee. Perhaps it's hard to be too angry while sipping on something with caramel in it??
Got my nails and feet done today. There is something very calming about this little ritual. It's nice to have 2 people working on you at the same time, trying to make you pretty and soft. There's one place I go to that I REALLY love, because they cover your face with a lavendar mask, put a warm blanket over you and off you go to sleep. No talking about your kids or trying to connect with you. The only reason I don't go there every time is because they won't razor my feet and I like that. Anyway, I needed it today! But, I'm having another pedicure with a girlfriend on Saturday; so my feet will be VERY soft by the end of the weekend! I was laughing while in this place, though. Ok, my hands and feet looked positively mutated when I went in. I really needed a fill a week ago and my feet were rough and the paint-job was full-on chipped. I apologized to the ladies at the get-go, but I don't think they really believed me till I took off my heels. Then they said something in whatever language they spoke and laughed. I totally threw them off when I laughed too and said, "Oh I know, I'm such a mongoloid - they're really bad!" Come on, really, like I DON'T know you're talking about me when you start suddenly speaking another language and titter? Please. Anyway, they spoke in English the rest of my visit.
Had the BEST ham sandwich today. It was grilled - love warm sandwiches. It was a grilled cheese with ham, I guess. I don't normally eat pork & I don't know what possessed me really. Had a lovely soup with it - best dinner I've had in ages (and no, that was not on the menu tonight). Anyway, Sonic rocks. But it made me soo sleepy! I cuddled with Lindsey some this evening and passed out watching some Family Channel movie with her. I guess my insomnia bout is over. :)
I should go to bed now; I'm telecommuting tomorrow, but I still need some sleep. I have a list to finish up in the morning - I WILL get that done, D! Night all.