Current mood:sad
There are all kinds of reasons the world could stop for a moment or two... some of them pleasant, some of them momentous and some of them sad. Of course, we always hope for those pleasant moments, right? Sometimes, though, you end up with all three. But, no matter what the root cause, time stands still for just a moment and typically, you get a flash of clarity. My favorite "world stops" moments are admittedly girly: the feeling I get when I snuggle my girls is the first moment that comes to mind. I could seriously hold on to them for hours and be just fine. Everything in the world seems right and insignificant at the same time. That perfect unexpected kiss (that can really only be better if it's raining) right before you're held by someone you care for/cares for you is another "world stops" kind of moment. It's soft, sweet and everything else just melts away. But, let's get back to reality now, shall we?
Tonight, I had a wonderful time. I saw a really BAD movie (FYI, "The Break Up" sucks. Why the hell would you make a movie about a break-up where they DON'T get back together in the end??); but, I had really great company. It was one of those times where I wish the world could have stopped because I was just comfortable. But, the world can't stop and I have to pick the girls up for a dental appointment REALLY early in the morning.
On the way home, that's when the world paused for me for a moment. I checked my voicemail because I saw I had missed a couple of calls and low and behold, one of my friends/neighbors had left a voicemail. Our children are friends, I like them and our lives are somewhat connected. Well, the Husband had been in what is evidently a rather serious car accident yesterday. He's in the hospital and I have no prognosis to report. That to me does not sound like a good sign.
It seems melodramatic to say the world stopped for a bit, but it really did. In that moment, all I could think about was the pain he might be in and his Wife. Nothing else mattered. Even typing this, I'm getting chills; I can't imagine what she's going through. I know what I'd be going through.
There was one night when Jason (my ex-husband) didn't come home on time. I didn't know where he was and I went through this gammut of emotions. But somewhere around 3 or 5 hours late, I became panicky. Where was my husband? I called every hospital in the metroplex, every police station, every friend I knew of, every restaurant I knew he liked to frequent trying to find him. Nothing. The pit in my stomach was horrid and hard to explain. Finally, I got a hold of one hospital who had a Jason My-last-name that had indeed been checked into the hospital ER that night. The entire world got very loud and then disappeared completely off my radar at that moment. The only thing that mattered was getting to him.
Fortunately, it was a different Jason and as I was getting ready to walk out the door, he showed up. He'd been out drinking with co-workers and was, other than driving quite intoxicated, completely ok. But still, I remember how shaken up I was and nothing had really happened to him. I can only imagine how much worse it is for the Wife now.
I'm praying. I'm praying they're ok (both of them) and I'm praying that God will show her how to find the strength and serenity she'll need during this time. I'm praying that there will be something I can do to help. I'm praying for their child. I'm praying that her world starts back up again, soon...
I don't know how successful I'm going to be at this, but I guess I should try and get some sleep. Goodnight, all.
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