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Sunday, July 10, 2011

GDE S.O.S., Please Rescue Me


Can I just say I SERIOUSLY love this song?  It's on my daily dance mix (2) and I totally dig it - it's a lot of fun to dance to.  Anyway, as I was twirling around to this today, I started thinking about some of the S.O.S. moments I've had recently as I really start to get back into this dating thing.   I know I'm fairly low-maintenance when it comes to dating/going out on dates, so... it's probably a pretty safe bet that if this stuff bugs me?  It's stuff you should take note of, gentlemen...

1.  Be Polite to the Waitstaff
    This?  Should be something your Mother taught you when you were knee-high to a grasshopper, Men.  People pay attention to this.  I know I do... I always make a point of calling people that are serving me by their name, because.. well, they have one.  It's not "ma'am," "lady," "BOY," or "KID."  The really sad thing is that many of them have name-tags; and they ALL tell you their name in the beginning.  So, there's really no excuse; it's just being polite.  And if you can't be polite to the person serving you?  I'm just not interested; after all, isn't the first few dates where you're supposed to be on your best behavior, trying to impress??  That's decidedly NOT impressive - which means the downhill slope just isn't something I'm likely to want to stick around to see.   

2. Leave the Pillow Talk?  In the Bedroom
    Fortunately, I've not had to deal with this too much; but I've had my fair share and some of the stories my girl friends have told me?  Seriously make me roll my eyes.  Being too intimate with someone you don't know?  Isn't really intimacy at all - it's actually kind of degrading as it shows a basal lack of respect.  Before you know me?  I'm not your 'babe,' (3), it's a little creepy when you constantly address me as gorgeous & honestly?  It just makes me wonder if you actually remember what my name IS.  Also, the first date?  Is not when you bust out your sexual preferences & DEFINITELY not when you tell a lady about the bedroom mishaps in your last relationship.  No, no, NO.  

This one? Will have me actually cut our date short, for real.  Outside of your kids, elderly parents, or a Dr. on call?  Put.It.Away.Please.

3.  No Business on Our Date
     For years, I've had this rule that's served me well - I don't date my co-workers.  Part of that is to skip the awkwardness that comes when you break up (and let's face it, most of the people we date/have a relationship with we will end up breaking up with); but the other part?  Is I don't want to have to talk shop on my 'off-hours.'  So, let me tell you how THRILLED I am when a guy asks me on a  first date (4) if I can look over their resume, or shop them out to a firm, or whatever. Of course, I'm happy to help if I can - but you gotta understand that it just shifted the dynamics of how I see you.  I'm now putting on the 'recruiter's glasses' and those?  Judge much more critically... I think.  And it's awkward.  My hairdresser was talking about this last time I was there - she gets that from guys a lot, too.  I think maybe some guys think this is how you connect... but, asking for professional favors in a 'play-time' environment?  Not so fabulous... (5)

4.  And a Few Other Things to Generally Avoid:
     A.  Discussions about any medication you're taking 
     B.  Your Therapist and what said therapist is telling you to do
     C.  Your ex-wife, ex-girlfriend, ex-whatever 
     D.  Please don't order for for your date unless asked... may seem chivalrous, but it's not.  It's pretentious - and what if she has food allergies???
     E.  Protracted conversations about your pets, boss, and even your kids on a first date.  Look, I WANT to know if you're happy in your job, that you're emotionally capable to connecting to others - even small, fuzzy animals.. and of COURSE I care if you're a decent parent.  But, that first date or two?  I need to know a little more about what makes you YOU - your interests, beliefs, hobbies, etc.  So, ALL of these subjects are good; but keep the doses small so that we can cover all those topics.  If you launch into a diatribe? Make it a positive one - because the negative "my [fill-in-the-subject-here] sucks because..." talk?  Will have me sending up S.O.S. flares faster than anything.

For more 'sound advice' on things that will likely want your date 'rescued?'  Check out "Dating @ Suite 101" and for food to avoid?  E-Harmony has the answers here... 

(1) Darn you youtube for restricting this video to only being played on your site. :p  AOL music may have  now replaced you, ha! Here's hoping there's NOT an annoying 20 second commercial in front of it, though....
(2) part of my #TR30Days challenge for myself this 30 days was to dance for an hour a day.  Epic Win.  Love it.
(3) Which, I get this probably sounds kind of b*tchy, but I've always hated that 'pet name' as every single time I hear it?  I think of the little pig from the movie; NOT exactly what you want to be synonymous with.  lol
(4) Think first few here, boys...
(5) Exception to this:  I've dated a few guys from my industry and just general 'shop-talk' in small doses?  Totally cool - it's fun to talk about industry trends, funny stories, and new technologies.  Not what I'm talking about here.

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