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Saturday, July 23, 2011

Someone Like You - Reminiscing On Our Quest for Camelot

This is one video that's absolutely worth listening to her talking about the song BEFORE you read further.  It's funny she mentioned this song reflected her being 'on her knees;' I was thinking this morning when I decided I wanted to write a blog using this song about the first time I heard this song.  It did genuinely bring me to my knees... emotionally speaking.  And then I went to YouTube & found this video where she's saying just that... I guess it's just so touching because it's easy to identify with 'profersonally' speaking - work, play, love.. it's all equally applicable.  Hurt. Fear. Restrained Reminiscing. Bittersweet Well-wishes ... we've all lived it. Correction... We All Live It.

When I first heard this song, all I heard was the loss. And that's what I looked back on - the things I'd built up & let go of; the unbelievable amount of effort I had put into a couple of roles in my career to just have felt completely unappreciated.  The guy where I knew I gave everything I had to have ultimately lost the relationship, anyway.  At first, the song was somewhat painful to truly 'hear.'  In all honesty, the girl that never cries in movies?  Cried listening to this song.

 Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead...  

Life is, quite simply, the sum of  how we connect. With people, places, things... Our 'connectedness' with others.. those relationships we form... they define us and they change us.  That change is a big part of our growth process.  I've written about that for years; so, this isn't exactly a newsflash.  But lately it seems that I've been doing a lot of 'looking back' with people in my life: former coworkers on old Employers we have moved on from, friends & acquaintances asking about my "now-not-really-new breakup" & how I'm faring, (1) and explaining the whys with mutual connections behind some friendly relationships I've let go of recently. (2)

Regrets & mistakes they're memories made... 
who would have known how bittersweet this tastes...
You know how the time flies; only yesterday was the time of our lives..  

I met with my mentor for lunch this week.  It was so good to see him & I'm always grateful for the discussions we're able to have.  We touched briefly on the Company we had worked together at & discussed the evolution it's had over time.  When I joined, the Company was truly like a 'Camelot' company to me.  (3)  And don't get me wrong, it's not a poor Company now; but it's definitely changed with time.  But things have to change; for there to be 'Camelots' or 'Glory Days' there have to be time-spans, relationships, companies that ...well... just aren't.  How do you appreciate greatness if you've never experienced anything but?  How do you evolve & grow individually if you don't take the working principles that achieved that greatness and apply it elsewhere? (4)

We were born and raised in a summer haze; 
bound by the surprise of our Glory Days....

The fear with striking out & leaving is, of course, that we will never find anyone that fits with us the way we thought 'they' fit with us when things were wonderful.  Or worse yet, that they WILL find someone; perhaps even a better version for them, to fill our now vacant shoes.  We look at the 'glory days,' at our former 'Camelots' and wonder - even pray - that we'll be connected in that way somewhere else, with someone or something else, some day.  Hopefully sooner rather than later.  Because let's face it: from the standpoint of desire, that's kind of what it's all about it, isn't it?  To feel wanted, value, connected, loving where you're at, who you're surrounded by, and what you're doing.

When we don't immediately find it, quite often we'll go back to what we had while the option is still there to take.  This is common enough that it even has it's own buzz-word for the occurrence:  "boomerang" - works with romantic relationships & employment status. I'm not going to say it's never the right thing to do; because there are times when it is. (5)  But, honestly? It's precious & rare - the growth that we experience that prompts us to leave often makes that repeat performance an abysmal experience. We 'boomerang' when what we should be saying is Nevermind, I'll find someone like you... but a version of you - of the positive attributes in our professional or personal relationship - that's better suited to the 'me' I am now.   Remember, while we fear change - because we're afraid to fail - it's that very change/failures that move us forward & help us grow.  So, reminisce if you want; but keep moving forward to the Camelots of your futures...not the ones in your past.

Nevermind, I'll Find Someone Like You 
Nothing Compares No Worries or Cares
Regrets & Mistakes They're Memories Made
I Wish Nothing But the Best For You....
(and the line she forgot)
And Will Accept Nothing But the Best For Me, Too...


(1) Before you have a chance to wonder? I'm fine.  It was a breakup; not the advent of the apocalypse. But, as a side note? It always strikes me as interesting when people ask if it hurts losing someone you love. Um, yes. It does - Of COURSE it does...whether you wanted it or not..  broke my heart; but that's life.  You have to deal with the negative outcome to find the positives & everyone can. We roll with it and move on to find new interests, new relationships, new loves.  That's how it works.

(2)The "Unfriending" Pts1 & 2 ended up being the catalyst for some relationship inventory work - while I haven't cut out a bunch of people, I have stepped back from some friendships that just don't fit with what I want my life to be/reflect & moved them more to 'friendly acquaintances.'  This fits in with the "5-Minute People" that this book I read a long time ago discussed... think it was called Rainmaking.

(3) So much so that I wrote about it twice.  Here's the first time:  "Camelot & Camelot Companies"

(4)Speaking more about work here, this isn't a reason to ditch your relationship to go "better" someone else, lol

(5) And when it IS one of those times? Grab it; life's really much too short to throw away happiness with both hands!

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