Current mood:pensive
I love that song. It's actually my new profile song, and it's been playing in my head all day. That, along with a few thoughts...
Backstory: Had an interesting talk with a new friend last night and we were talking about how she's now "Relationship Girl" and is sick of just the random dating. I'm thinking I'm feeling where she's at. Anyway, it reminded me of a conversation I had with this guy I had been seeing. We weren't exclusive and he still kind of had a thing for his ex-girlfriend, as I came to discover. I wasn't happy with that discovery, but I understood it. So, I told him if that's what he wanted, he should go for it. Life's too short to settle. Anyway, he didn't go for it, ultimately.. we discussed the whole thing later on and he said he felt like I didn't care about him because I didn't fight for him. Actually, his words were, "If you cared about me, why didn't you take a stand and say, 'Hey, I think we have something here and I don't want you to see her?'"
Yeah. I was thinking about that today. I don't know what to do with that. It's not that I have a complete issue with what he's saying, it's just ... it seems to me that if he wanted me, then this wouldn't have ever come up. Ok, let's move this on to a more generalized playing field, because it's really not about him, it's about me. I'm used to being the one to fight for the relatioship; I'm the one typically putting in the hard work, doing all the compromising and the relationship overtime. And I'm not complaining - there is a time and a place for that. I'm just not sure it's at the beginning of a relationship.
Seems to me, that when the right person comes along, the other people.. well, they just don't seem to matter. You shouldn't HAVE to "take a stand" too early on. Express interest, sure... but, more than that? I don't know...
Yet, on the other hand; people are rarely exclusive when they start dating. So, I guess unless you say, "I'd like to get to know you without the pressures of us trying to ALSO getting to know other people" - chances are, you both are. I guess I don't know how you transition it - all my serious relationships were with friends where we just realized that we wanted to be in a relationship with each other - we didn't really date and then transition, you know? I guess I'm a little lost on this score. Which isn't a big deal right now, because I'm not trying to transition a relationship at the moment. But still, better to know before you need to, right?
Anyway, I doubt any of that makes sense.. it's just something I'm thinking over.. I'm kind of mellow this evening. I don't know, I think I have a dash of pensiveness in my mood this evening. What I do know is that I've owned "The Breakup" since the 17th and I'm going to watch it this evening.. by myself, thank you very much! :)
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