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Monday, August 1, 2011

Happy Birthday to Me; I'm Now 33... #TR30Days

Well, I did it:  I made it to my 33rd birthday.  Over the last week or so, I looked back at each of the blogs I have done over the last few years around my birthday just to see where I was then vs where I am now.  You'd hope there'd be progress, positive change as we grow, right??  Anyway, whether there was or not is likely subjective; but thought I'd share for anyone seriously bored or oddly interested :)

2005:  Just Over 27
2006:  Around 28 Years Old
2007:  29 On the 29th (1)
2008:  The Big 3-0 that wasn't so big
2009:  I skipped my 31 to focus on my Thing #1 (Linds); her birthday is 4 days before mine. You'll see why it's enough.  I was also dealing w/ the accident & subsequent surgical stuff. Too much going on.
2010:  32 - "Had Enough with the 'Have You Found Him Already' Question!"

Now that we know where I've been; where am I now???

Status:  Single
Dating:  Yeah, kinda (2); approaching it from an 'it's entertainment' perspective until I'm presented with an overwhelming reason to look at it any other way.
Occupation:  Staffing/Talent Marketing - Focused on Business Development, HR/RPO & Talent Marketing - LOVE what I do!
Hobbies:  Treadmill Time, Tennis, Social, Blogging/Writing, Time w/Friends, & Shoe Acquisition, Music (Piano & Singing)
Improvement:  #TR30Days, Working Towards a Half-Marathon in Sept, Working on SPHR Certification
Causes:  LoveDrop, Shoes for Orphan Souls, Attitudes & Attire
Favorite Quote:  "Be the Change You Wish to See in the World." ~ Gandhi

I found this quote today & think this really does sum up where I'm at right now with Life:

”I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”

Biggest Change:  I'm still happy.  For the majority of the last year I was in a relationship, as most of you know.  And I was happy in it, to degrees... but the way we went about it?  It wasn't healthy for me; and I'd suppose not for him.  If you're having to sacrifice who you are, the very things that make you YOU in order to make your partner happy?  Then, unless the stuff that makes you 'You' is illegal or immoral?  Likely, it's not the right relationship.  As great of a guy as he is, (2) I couldn't BE the girl that lives that quote in our relationship.  Or, I wasn't that girl, anyway.  Our relationship wasn't equitable & that wasn't fair. As easy as it would be, I don't blame that on him; I blame that one? On me.   Ultimately, we broke up & yeah, it broke my heart because at the time, I wasn't ready to see what he already had.   I guess that's one thing I owe him thanks for, really. When I got there and did something about it?  It surprised me how quickly I was able to get back to the lady that I was and back on the path to the person I want to be.  Does that make sense?   I don't really know who I want to be with and it's honestly not a big focus for me right now.  I DO know WHO I want to be for myself, my daughters and the world-at-large, though & right now? I see that as more important... and I know that a guy can fit into that quite nicely at some point, however that might end up looking like. But I'm not waiting on that to be happy; I'm really having fun with life now... that, my girls, my career, my friends.. my 'profersonal' life? IS my happiness.  Everything else is kind of a bonus.

New Experiences:  iYoga ... kinda badly, but I do it! :)

My Biggest Challenge:  The last year has taught me a lot about relationships on every level.  You can want the best for someone; but a lot of times that means letting them go to achieve that on their own, even if it means failing.  FAILING IS OKAY.  You can do everything for someone else; but it doesn't make it wanted... and it's not the effort that counts there.  You short-change both parties in that process... even if you mean well.  If you compromise yourself - your beliefs, values, whatever, you've compromised every one of your relationships because the authenticity is damaged.  Even 'all-grownup?'  You can still outgrow friendships & that's okay.  Some of the friends I spend time with have changed but that's okay, too.  It's important, I think, to surround yourself with those that not only just like you or care about you; but will help you grow as a person and support your healthy interests - just as you do for them!

Life Outlook: I don't believe in 'karma' in that the world puts out bad things TO you if you do bad things to others and vice-versa.  Really tragic things happen to good people and amazingly good things seem to happen to some of the most soul-draining people out there.  But I do believe that? Doesn't matter and is a waste of focus.  So what do I believe?  Being positive matters.  For a really long, long time people joked that I was Pollyanna because I could find a silver lining in ANYTHING.  I think I lost sight of that over the last year or two when I was feeling a little defeated.  I'm really grateful to my true friends, my family, and those who stuck by me while I found my way back.  Because I have over the last three months & maybe even made a little progress past where I was.  And I'm really focused on keeping that forward momentum.

Lifestyle:  I've TOTALLY changed my lifestyle in the last year and even more in the last few months.  I'm eating healthy again - maybe even more-so than before, I'm really pretty active, and I make a regular point of moving beyond my comfort zone to stretch my perspective, experiences, and try to grow as a person.  Gotta say?  I'm having fun.  I don't have it all figured out and maybe the world isn't on a string for me quite yet; but boy am I enjoying the adventure.  A few years ago, I asked the question if I'd be able to ever really have the guts to 'get in the car' - yes, it did come after a bottle of wine & a Transformers marathon. Now I know:  No way will I be looking back in 50 years wondering if I had the guts to get in the car.  I'm not only IN the car; it's totally in Drive... and I'm pretty sure the best is yet to come. (4)

Looking forward to seeing what this next year has in store for me... Bring.It.On! :) 

(1) This One?  Totally falls under the #imadork hashtag. I was STUPIDLY excited about that and wore it out. Almost as stoked as I was about being 33 because it was a repetitive number.  So much for progress, LOL...
(2) Half-Heartedly; as it suits and is fun for me!
(3) And he really is, in a lot of ways.  We all  have our flaws, but it doesn't dismiss our strengths.  When you think about it, our weaknesses are just our strengths uncontrolled.  Just sayin'....
(4) Transformers Reference because I'm totally ok with my #imadork status :)

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