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Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Trouble



Love this song.  Have for years.. I think there's a blog in here around January of 2009 of me messing around singing it (sorta) while I was a 'one-eyed purple people eater..."  (1)  Anyway, cool song, Love ColdPlay so, so much.  Was listening to it today on the way home because, well... I felt troubled and so it just seemed to fit.  This might not be the most smooth blog post I've ever done; but it's what's on my mind. 


Recently, I read The Help as my "Fun" book.  You know, the one you don't really need to engage your brain in to enjoy?  That you're not reading to better yourself in business or personally; it's just to relax. Well, that was my intent w/ this book; but it ended up having an unintended, yet profound, effect on the way I view a few things.. not the least of which is my perspective on the perspective of others. (2)  
It's a great book; and I'd highly recommend it as it relays life, Pre-Civil Rights movement, in Jackson, Mississipi from the perspective of "The Help."  One of the characters in the book ends up writing a book on it and it turns the town on it's ear.  Those written about were humiliated; some probably rightfully so... but I'd doubt that they'd agree with that sentiment.


Not gonna lie, it got to me a little bit.  See, a lot of what I write relates to MY LIFE.  I'm okay with that; and I'm constantly reading things that say "Write like you talk & write what you know."  (3)  What am I going to know better than that?? The trick is this:  I don't live in a bubble.  So, what I write about is interaction w/ others on topics that are likely going to be of interest to people.  The reality is that we spend the majority of our time working or dealing with relationships of various shapes & sizes.   I read on "summify" something that sums up the content choices I make nicely:  "Don't try to sell broccoli ice-cream; even if that's your favorite... "  As much as I'd love to think the world shares my shoe obsession or wants to hear never-ending stories about my obsession with the perfect souffle?  I know they don't.  And that's okay - I don't want to write about those things any more than you likely want to read them.

But... in writing about my life and including those that interact with me in it? Can come with a price. I've had some make comments about how they "Don't want to end up in my blog" - and I don't blame them. Typically, I tell people that if they don't do anything massively idiotic; they probably won't... unless I'm talking about past relationships.. and they don't really get a say, since they're not named. But, I hadn't really put much thought into how it makes them feel reading it. The truth is, like the song says... I never [meant] to cause trouble... and I don't want to potentially hurt someone for the sake of a laugh, page view, or follower. I'm completely comfortable with the posts where relationships/work/culture are fused together... but, the dating posts? As much as I love writing them (and they are fun to write); I'm finding that more difficult to do now that I'm trying to look at it from the way the subject would feel reading it. 


At first, I thought I'd just remove the 'personal experiences' out of the blog all together unless it was related to the workplace or parenting. But, in talking with a friend tonight; he helped me see why that wouldn't work.. and why sometimes, people are uncomfortable because they don't like seeing others perspectives of them (4).. but, it doesn't mean it shouldn't be said. He's right. Growth doesn't come out of comfortable or safe... neither for them, nor for myself.

What does this mean?? I'm not exactly sure yet. It probably means until I figure it out; there's not going to be a lot of dating posts... or least not ones about my dates. Might start doing some perspectives on third-person experiences; I really am not sure yet. Whatever I write, it'll still have my 'voice;' that much you can count on.  But, you know as soon as I figure it all out? You'll be the first to know. :)


(1) And Here.It.Is!  It was reason #432 why I'm never going to be in broadcasting & reasons #1-1000 why adult beverages, singing & a webcam don't mix AT ALL.  Thank goodness I'm so much older & wiser now.. :p The post right below it explains WHY I had the scary eye going.... WARNING:  IT's painful. And off-key!
(2) there's a mouthful.
(3) Yet another example & a good "How-To" for those wanting to start a blog:  http://www.copyblogger.com/writing-voice/
(4) "others" in this case would be MY perspective

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