As another birthday passes, I once again get pummeled with the question ALL single people just LOVE to be asked as part of the 'State of the Union' talk, "So, you found anybody you want to settle down with yet?" This is actually a 3 part answer... or rather, there are really 3 questions in there:
Question 1: Have I found anybody?
Answer: Sure, lots of 'anybodies.' I live in one of the biggest metropolitan areas in the United States. Now factor in that I'm slightly brighter than the corner streetlamp, kinda cute, most men find me an adorable mess and a bunch of fun? Of course there's a pretty big pool of bodies to choose from.
Question Two: Anybody you want to settle down with yet?
Answer: Um, no. There's been a guy or two I can see spending more time with, but even with the cool one? Not looking for the white picket fence yet; probably because I already kinda have it.
Which leads to the unspoken compound Question Three: Why not- is the problem them or you?
Compound Answer: Neither... and Both.
There are a couple of reasons surrounding dating "Generation Me-ers;" but the foundation of the issue is that I'm not really sure that I'm looking for, or even want, the 'His-and-Her towels,' 'Let's Grow Old Together' romance. This is where most women my age and men around a decade older? Think I'm nuts.
Listen, I'm not a complete ice queen; I see the benefit behind the ideal. And 7 years ago I was all over that like white on rice. 5 years ago, I was still very receptive. The last couple of years, though? I've come to realize my life kicks 19 kinds of Kung-Foo booty. I have it made; right now I can do what I want, when I want and need permission from nobody. Which I like. When I'm done with someone? I can get up and leave to do whatever I'm up for next. This is a pretty heady thing to give up.
Would I ever? Maybe- but that relationship would be long in it's gestation and pretty fanfreakingtabulous.
There's also relatively low frustration or relationship drama in my current set-up. Guys are given a threshold level for bs and when they pass it? I pass on them. Its actually kinda more entertainment than frustration. :p When I get bored? I can find a "shiny new toy" to play with and nobody faults me because it's pretty well accepted that most of the people in my dating age-range (35 to 42ish) have significant baggage.
So, between the two? I see no reason to settle or rush into something serious that I'm likely to find flawed and want out of faster than my annual physical. Besides, I've found that when people are trying to find "the one?" They are often not being their genuine self, anyway. But that's a story for another day, another issue. ;)