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Saturday, August 30, 2008

Myspace Migration: Dirty Little Secrets

Who has to know?? :) I really don't know why that song is so totally stuck in my head, but it's workin' for me... how about you??

My dirty little secret? Is a word... specifically, THE word: Fabulosity. And, I must say, I'm terribly disappointed and disillusioned to find out that Kimora Lee Simmons totally STOLE MY WORD! LOL - ok, I'm just kidding; well, about that being my dirty little secret anyway. But I'm serious about how that was my word and I was totally crushed when Bev told me that she has been using it. And, as it turns out, my eldest knew that, too. She is a fan of the 'Kimora Lee Simmons show: Life in the Fab Lane' - fortunately, I can say that I didn't get her hooked on it. Because everyone knows me that I? Am decidedly NOT a fashionista. But, sure as can be, she has me watch it with her today and KLS (who is totally a living, taaaalll barbie doll) not only uses my word, but makes it a perfume. So, now I'm on the hunt for a new word. :p

So, here's my REAL dirty little secret: I have been violated by POF. Seriously, unabashedly, really violated. This guy that has been emailing me since the day I joined called me to talk. No big deal, right? It wasn't at that point, but... then... he, um, self-serviced while talking with me. Now, he didn't come out and SAY what he was doing and no, I was not channeling the chick from Debbie does Dallas over the phone. I noticed while we were having a perfectly normal conversation that he was breathing rather heavily - ok, he's working out, I thought... no big deal, right? Then, he asks me if I was a cheerleader in High School (did I mention I'm 30 and high school was like 14 years go???)... Correction, he TOLD me I was a cheerleader in high school and kind of whimpered? At that point, I figured it out and was totally.utterly.disgusted. I jumped off the phone as quickly as possible and had to take a shower - 'cause his dirty little secret's filth was rubbing off on me. Ew!

I decided to make a quick list of other dirty little secrets that need to be scrubbed clean:

1) It is generally not cool to save a Low Fat bottle of salad dressing and refill it with dressing bought at the Cheescake Factory - simply being in a 'low-fat' package does NOT make it good for you. (nor for me, when I unwittingly eat it! You know who you are, lol - I love you, but was totally cheesed when I discovered that and it totally jacked up my eating plan for the day, lol)

2) So, the babybel, individually wrapped cheese rounds? That red stuff they're in? That's wax. Don't eat it. :) (That Secret? Is mine - I am a total goob, but I didn't know.. really until they started with the commercials recently, and now I totally understand why that cheese made me sick all that time ago!!! LOL - In all fairness, I -WAS- Eight & at my Uncle's Funeral; but still... it made me sick enough I didn't touch it again until recently.)

3) "Friends with Benefits" - if you're into that kind of thing - means you're actually friends outside of the sheet wrestling. If the only thing you do together happens in the bedroom... you? Are that person's dirty little secret - and that? Is called 'booty calling,' I think.

4) Speaking of booties, Kim Kardashian just used hers to 'booty strike' a guy in her self-defense class. And that? Is my dirty little secret... My daughter now has me hooked on Keeping up with the Kardashians and Life in the Fab Lane (if for no other reason than they're both train wrecks, but seriously? I might need to talk to her Dad about her weekend TV choices??). Maybe we can just generalize my 'Dirty Little Secret' to E!Style Channel, all the way around - because I'm fairly certain that while the channel may make me really pretty , it's not so much about making me a better person. LOL

Yeah, I know.. my 'dirty little secrets' aren't that dirty after all... but, what can I say? The dirtiest thing in my house is probably the laundry; speaking of which, I need to go do it. If you want to read more juicy secrets, check out this page - it's an ongoing community project called PostSecret. Have a great Saturday!!

Next blog, I'm going to touch politics - and maybe dating and politics?? Let's see if I can make the two work together well.. LOL Stay tuned!

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