Ok, so they're your "Ex-" for a reason. Clearly, there are issues. For many ex-couples, one of them is communication. And I? Am not excluded from that group. My ex-husband and I have such a hard time communicating! Of course, it would be easy for me to say that a large part of it is his complete inability to play any role outside of a martyr...
(Ok, so that wasn't quite gender correct because he IS a guy, but admit it! It's funny) It doesn't matter what we're talking about or how skewed he is from reality, that man is ALWAYS the victim and NEVER wrong. Frustrating as all get-out. But, more to the point of the conversation, we have the 'ex-' communication barrier going.
When you break up with a boyfriend/girlfriend, they can disappear into the ether and you'll never have to speak with them again if you don't want to. If you don't share children, you can do the same with your ex-spouses, after the dust dies down and the finances are split, etc. But, when you have children with someone, you're connected to them FOR LIFE. It's, truly, the BEST example of a 'life sentence!' So how do you communicate in a healthy way with someone you clearly don't have a healthy relationship with?
1. Listen. If your spouse wants to talk to you about something, you need to shut up and REALLY listen. When they've finished a subject, then you can tell them how you're perfect and they don't know anything.
But, what else? I'm out of time, but I know there's more steps to properly communicating with your ex... want to add to the list?