I'm home. And, I've cancelled my trip to San Antonio/Austin. I'm done travelling until October, actually - unless I get a wild hair to go to New York next month, but I doubt I will at this point.
Ok, so the points I wanted to expound on yesterday and a few more:
1. Niagara Falls was totally fun. Loved the Maid of the Mist, really enjoyed getting to hear/see/even somewhat taste the falls (no, I did not drink the water, the mist was everywhere). Got some gorgeous pictures to post. It was interesting the gap between the American side and the Canadian side - never fails to amaze me. The Canadian side was gorgeous, well-manicured, and very much a beautiful place to experience. The lines were long for the Maid of the Mist on that side, though. The American side was not beautiful, not well-laid out, but no lines. We went to the American side to ride the Mist. Had lunch at Tu Tu Tango - very hip little art cafe in Canada. Great food, good sangria and a waiter that looked a lot like Vin Diesel. I'd say it was a roaring success.
2. The Glass Gallery. There's this place just downwind from the IMAX theatre where they blow glass. We went in. I was looking for a glass guitar for my brother and the manager spotted us and came over. The guy launched into the cheesiest pick-up SAGA (because it FAR exceeded a pick-up line) that I had ever heard. Obviously, the guy has no clue that I'm impervious to such things because, in all actuality, I have no heart. (lol) Anyway, I'm listening to the guy ramble on and on about how I remind him of some mediterranean chick with all the usual (very sexy, beautiful, mysterious - yada, yada brain is off thinking about other things because, really, we don't believe it when a stranger says that stuff, anyway) junk when he finally says something that snaps me back into attention: "My philosophy in life is if it feels good, it must be good - so, do it.. even if it's bad, if it feels good, it is..."
Ok, I am so attuned to what he's really getting at here, but the concept is intruiging and worth expounding on. So, I do: "What if everyone thought that way?" Of course, he launches into some wierd diatribe about American Husbands, which was not an answer, so I retreat back into myself and ponder this one a bit. What if we all followed that theory? The world would go to hell in a handbasket faster than I could write this novella, that's what would happen. Rules exist for a reason - they're not bad. They protect us, perpetuate us, drive us, challenge us - to just live off feelings makes us completely willy-nilly and totally selfish. Anyway, Marciello, or Marishino or whatever his name was (seemed like a Guido to me, you'd have to ask Jackie what his name ACTUALLY is, she'd remember) was left at that point. I just walked off and left him with Brooke. Couldn't stomach any more. Guys really need to get it through their head that the best pick up line is a simple "Hello. I'm So-and-So and you know, you seem interesting (insert intruiging, exciting, or some other such adjective that doesn't involve pure asthetics) and I'd like to get to know you better..." is the best way to go.
3. Being Spanish - I found it interesting that the guy brought up that I looked European - I've had a lot of people say that I look Spanish now that my hair is back to it's natural darkness. I'm the whitest white person I know - so don't get that, but it's fun to hear!
4. I want to start a Tu Tus Cafe here with music, as well - open mics or something. I think that'd be well received. It was very chic, this place - everything on the walls was available for purchase and the food was served on painter's palettes. Very eclectic.
5. My cameras - both the one on the phone and my Kodak - take really great pictures. My phone has a sport setting that takes a set of 9 pictures every time it's pressed... was very cool. I have some great pictures to put up here over the next couple of days... including one where I'm kissing a frog - what the hell happened to my prince? I feel ripped off. :)
6. I've been Hooked on the Happy Bunny lately. Really want to send the one out that says "I gave you crabs." However, that'd be blanketly untrue (not even really sure what they are) and really cruel - plus, I think you actually have to have sex with people enough to GET crabs to be able to give them. Doesn't really sound like a fun present, though - still, that one cracks me up in a twisted, disgusting way every time I see it. However, I think that I need a "Happy Bunny says, 'I should always be single.'" I'm not sure I'm cut out for relationships - there's so much drama to it! And, it seems like noone can really play straight. Looking back, even I found myself adjusting to what I THOUGHT I needed to portray; not changing who I was, exactly.. but, holding back who I am in order to maintain the order of what I thought needed to be. It's exhausting. And, I'm just having to wonder if that's really a good thing to involve myself in again... because, in reality...
7. ... there's the frog and the prince. The deal is, it's the same guy. The question is, who shows up first? Does the "frog side" of the personality show up when you're dating and like wine, the guy gets better over time? When the ackwardness wears off and you get comfortable, does he get better and "the prince" shows up? Or, does the "prince side" show up first and you get swept off your feet by this totally together, charming man to find out that he's in reality a very messy, wart-covered "frog?" If you could guarantee me that the frog would show up first, I'd be there. Then, I know what I'm dealing with on his worst day up front. The problem is, there's no real way to know until you've handed your heart over to someone. That seems very dangerous.
8. So, the topic of conversation rolls around to Dating Vs. DATING. I realize that I have a different definition of "dating" than most people. To me, "dating someone" is when you go out on a semi-regular to regular basis, but there's no singular relationship. By that, I mean that there's no commitment to one another, you're not exclusive and so chances are, you're dating other people, too. I think you should only have sex with one of those people, but then again, that's just me and I don't like having multiple partners over one span of time. Never have, never will. Then, there's DATING - where you're seeing one person regularly and you're just seeing that person. Maybe not boyfriendgirlfriend status yet, but working towards it, I guess. I've always done the former. I go out, I have a good time, and we each go to our seperate homes. They pay sometimes, I pay others. And, typically, I've gone out with 2 to 6 different guys over one span of time - we're just getting to know each other, you see. It's really just recently that the idea of DATING became acceptable to me... but, you still have to find the person you want to DATE. How do you do that? Do you do it one at a time, or do my version of dating until you find one that you want to DATE?
Men seem to have very different and finite ideas on this. It really seems to have insulted one guy I went out over the course of a month or two not too long ago, that I was seeing other guys while I was seeing him. Now, forget the fact that his ex-girlfriend was still consistently in the picture for what appears to be every moment I wasn't with him (though that does seem slightly hypocritical); he knew going in he was one of three men that I had been talking to. Did he think the other two went away when I accepted a dinner invitation with him? And, should that be the way it should be? I'm not really sure... Other guys I know don't care, because they do it too... I guess this was really #10, I skipped 8 and 9 - don't want to deal with those right now.
There's still more to write, but I'm tired. I'm so glad to be home... but, the house feels really empty right now and there's really noone to call... I guess I'll go sleep. CM
Sunday, August 6, 2006
Saturday, August 5, 2006
Myspace Migration: Road Trip!
So, I'm in Pennsylvania. The whys and wherefors are not important. Well, they are, but I don't want to share. The whole trip has been somewhat waylaid and I'm just trying like hell to make the best of it. I have a headache and have spent the better part of the last 24 hours fighting back tears because I'm disappointed, hurt, and angry. Sucks. I'm longing for my own bed, my own wine glass, and my own CD player that I can listen to my "moody playlist" on. I hurt for my friend.
Did have a good day today from an experience standpoint, though. Went to a place called Waldermere Park. Was pretty cool. It's an amusement park that's not really that dissimilar from what you'd find at Coney Island. The funniest part of it was the Geriatric Karaoke that they had going on there. Have a video and picture of it on my phone - in fact, sent one of them (not sure which) out to the people on my personal list from my cell phone. Hopefully, it was the video and there's audio with it. When I get back home, the video's going on here - complete with sound. Will be greatness on a stick. Seriously, this guy has no shame in his game - sounds hideous, but you've gotta respect the enjoyment he was having.
Going to Niagara Falls tomorrow morning - the Canada side. This guy I used to see mentioned Toronto the other day - I'd very much like to go there, I think. Obviously not with him, as we're not seeing each other.. but, it sounds kind of relaxing, believe it or not. I've been thinking about it this week and it sounds fun; probably going to check Netfares or something and go for a weekend here soon. I'm not in a relationship, I don't really have anything that's keeping me from doing weekend jaunts - so, I just might. We'll see. I've got to get through this month first. Get back next Wed. or Thursday and then leave on Friday to take the kids to San Antonio. Saturday is the Alamo and then Austin for the bats. Sunday we come back home (gotta be home by four so I can be there in time for my PTA Chair meeting) and then the kids start school on Tuesday. Which is my father's birthday and my friend, Martin's, birthday. It's also the day Napoleon was born - I know because my father tells me, proudly, every year. :)
I'm really sleepy and I've got a lot of thinking to do before I can get any. I'm trying to work a couple of things out in my head that are giving me serious pause. Will probably write about that later.
Did have a good day today from an experience standpoint, though. Went to a place called Waldermere Park. Was pretty cool. It's an amusement park that's not really that dissimilar from what you'd find at Coney Island. The funniest part of it was the Geriatric Karaoke that they had going on there. Have a video and picture of it on my phone - in fact, sent one of them (not sure which) out to the people on my personal list from my cell phone. Hopefully, it was the video and there's audio with it. When I get back home, the video's going on here - complete with sound. Will be greatness on a stick. Seriously, this guy has no shame in his game - sounds hideous, but you've gotta respect the enjoyment he was having.
Going to Niagara Falls tomorrow morning - the Canada side. This guy I used to see mentioned Toronto the other day - I'd very much like to go there, I think. Obviously not with him, as we're not seeing each other.. but, it sounds kind of relaxing, believe it or not. I've been thinking about it this week and it sounds fun; probably going to check Netfares or something and go for a weekend here soon. I'm not in a relationship, I don't really have anything that's keeping me from doing weekend jaunts - so, I just might. We'll see. I've got to get through this month first. Get back next Wed. or Thursday and then leave on Friday to take the kids to San Antonio. Saturday is the Alamo and then Austin for the bats. Sunday we come back home (gotta be home by four so I can be there in time for my PTA Chair meeting) and then the kids start school on Tuesday. Which is my father's birthday and my friend, Martin's, birthday. It's also the day Napoleon was born - I know because my father tells me, proudly, every year. :)
I'm really sleepy and I've got a lot of thinking to do before I can get any. I'm trying to work a couple of things out in my head that are giving me serious pause. Will probably write about that later.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Myspace Migration: Average Every-day Sane Psycho
Some days you just know are going to be odd. They start out just plain wierd and then move to the left from there. Today, my friends, was definately an "odd day." And I'll warn you, so is this blog posting. It's going to be a rambler, folks...
Odd days are interesting, though. You get to experience the surreal, you interact with true characters and they always leave an impression. Today... no exception. The day started with something that rarely ever happens to me: I overslept. And not just by a little bit ~ Oh, no! I overslept by literally hours. Plural. Like 3. Even after I woke up (KNOWING there was somewhere else I needed to be), I just couldn't get the engine running. Eventually, of course, I did get moving and get out the door... to be hit by my first psycho-encounter of the day.
He's a candidate. Nice guy - but nuts. Like way too many candidates, he'd really like me to make water out of wine. Yes, I said that correctly.. he's got wine right now and he's completely drunk off his hind-end. Water, for him, would be helpful. Unfortunately, he wasn't talking to the progeny of God; he was talking to me. Miracle-worker? Yeah, not so much. So, after I get the guy back into reality, I realize.. this is the third time in two days we've had this same conversation. Who's life am I in??
Know when to cut your losses. There are going to be times that people just don't get it. That's ok. Can't really get mad about it, because well... what's the point? It's not going to change the situation, other than to make you want to grab a punching bag. And seriously, what did that punching bag EVER do to you?
So, then we're on to the part of the day that's affectionately known as "fun with the ex." Doesn't really matter which ex- I'm talking to; it's all the same conversation. "Oh, you're having a bad day (again)? ... Sorry to hear that... No, I can't really fix it because, you see, I have my own life to attend to right now... Yes, I understand that your world is upside-down; but, remember? That's not my life anymore (pause for effect and shake head in disbelief)." I may be the girl you want with you when you bury the body... but that doesn't mean I'm actually going to DO it. That's kind of reserved for very good friends. LOL Anyway, the "fun with the ex" is really that I don't have to deal with it any longer. It's like watching a campy 70s flick - you can realize it's a train-wreck, you feel bad for the people who got sucked into it, and you can find a sort of empathetic humor in it because... well... it's not happening TO YOU. I don't know, maybe this is a warped view; but, I think when you get there, you're in a healthier place.
As an aside, Starbucks rocks. Seriously. Drive-thru coffee when you're groggy as a marsh-bottom is truly some kind of twisted God-Send. I say it's twisted because it's addicting and it's probably too easy for your own good. If you actually have to make the coffee, you're less likely to consume gallons of it. However, as it stands, there is a Starbucks across from my work and I should be approaching "benefactor status." Wouldn't it be great if Starbucks had some kind of "rewards program?" LOL As I write this, I realize I'm probably going to get some kind of response saying that there IS, in fact, a rewards program; you just have to actually get out of the car and go inside to discover it. But, that cripples what makes Starbucks such a beauty of creation. On to the office.
The Office. I love my office. Seriously. I never know what I'm going to encounter. There is almost always a tangible synergy there. You can always hear the din (unless it's a weekend or Friday after 3 o'clock.. then it's pretty darn quiet); but, most mornings, you can FEEL it. Kinda creepy, but good to establish forward momentum. We drive each other. The "X" factor at work is the conversation. There has not been one day in my office where I didn't get into some strange conversation that, at the end of it, I wondered how I ever got entangled into that conversation to begin with. Today it was about whether or not it is better to pop a pimple or let it fester and go away on it's own. I know, gross, right? And that conversation had absolutely nothing to do with business... but hey, she left smiling... so, I guess it's all good. Today, though, there was too much distraction. I couldn't concentrate; needed quiet. Had to go home.
When I got home, I realized that I had been locked out of my home. Thank you Nicole (my housekeeper). Who gets locked out of their house as a single person? I mean, isn't that really reserved for non-paying renters or displaced spouses??? But, it reminded me that I needed to call a casual pal of mine that I just found out was displaced. Of course, being nuts, I called her before I got into my own house. Hey, might as well do it while it's fresh on the mind. Thank God there's noone in my life that could actually throw my clothes out on the front lawn. Noone would want my knickers in the yard, anyway - but, I'm pretty sure that would kill me. Death by mortification.
Naptime. I'm not really a big nap person, but I could really get behind the English concept of "tea-time." Lately, around 3, I'm dying to turn my brain off for a few minutes. Today, we got to experience the joy of a migraine and wierd "brain-fog" (technical term); so, a few minutes was more like a couple of hours. Anyway, it feels like by 3 or so, I've overloaded my brain. There's no more room to assimilate information. Sorry, I've checked out; come back later. Maybe "tea-time" would make that better. Allow the cramping to stop; give the information time to file and sort itself away and then back to reality. Maybe I should bring this up at the next committee meeting.
Men. Well, it could read women just as easily, I suppose... depends on the gender you are. I'm a chick, so for me.. it's men. But, if you're single and you're dating (which contrary to popular belief, does not necessarily go hand-in-hand), it's almost a given that there's going to be at least ONE encounter with the opposite sex each day that makes you go "Hmm." Today, no exception.. but, because it's "Odd day" it's more of a "Huh?" moment. Here's the set-up: went out with this guy about a month or two back (I lose track of exactly when and how long). Nice guy, and we got along, but there was nothing really extraordinary there. Nothing that drove me to really want to see this guy again. In fact, I don't think he's even crossed my mind for a month. So, out of the blue the guy calls today wanting to do something. Once I get my wits about me, I thought "Sure, why not?" Ok... so, he wants to go... ready for this? COW TIPPING. 'Cause, after all, we're really all still in junior high, in Podunk, USA. After I regain composure and stop laughing hysterically in the phone, I pass. Seriously, I'm not really sure you should ask someone else to do something with you that will, in all likelyhood, have you committed to an insane asylum. I am a SANE pyscho, after all. And to wind up the "MEN" conversation, today was a boob shirt day. I was impressed though; there was actually one man I had a conversation with (in person) today who actually kept his eyes above my chest. LOL Wonders never cease. For women who do have a decent-sized chest, I strongly suggest having a regular "boob shirt" day. It's kind of fun to see how people act - and extremely funny.
I ordered Weeds today. The TV show DVD - not the illegal substance or the junk you pull up out of your garden. I'm still not really certain how people are able to ship something out that hasn't even been released yet; but, I concede I haven't really put any thought into it. I don't really care, as long as it arrives next week via UPS.
I'm working on a new blog article. It's about sex. Specifically, sex and the single person. I'm intersted to explore the different ideas and common themes that the single person has/deals with regarding sex. Probably because it's been an issue in my own dating life... well, I guess it's an issue in everyone's, right? Seems like we all either want it, got it, don't want it, need it, have too much of it, wondering if we should have it or are trying to get it. I think that covers the gamut. What I'm interested in is more of the side-effects of what we're searching for. What does it do for us? Does it end up being a positive experience or a negative one? Why? And, throw in the gender factor: do you think that most men/women have the same ideas regarding sex? I know I'm not breaking nobel prize-winning ground or anything, but I've got an inquiring mind and I want to know.
The good news is that Ed McMahon should be coming to my door in August. I should probably sit by the door and wait so I don't miss him. I seriously have to wonder if that whole thing isn't a conspiracy... Really. Does ANYONE know ANYONE who knew ANYONE that was ever greeted with that honking check by Mr. McMahon? I don't think so!
Finally, to round out the odd-day... I've just realized this is the second night in a row I've had no dreams. I don't remember when the last time I had dreamless sleep was... it's not common. Average every-day sane psycho signing off. Hope you all had interesting days, too... even if they were odd. I have to go wait and see if the phone rings, now. ;) Take care, folks.
Odd days are interesting, though. You get to experience the surreal, you interact with true characters and they always leave an impression. Today... no exception. The day started with something that rarely ever happens to me: I overslept. And not just by a little bit ~ Oh, no! I overslept by literally hours. Plural. Like 3. Even after I woke up (KNOWING there was somewhere else I needed to be), I just couldn't get the engine running. Eventually, of course, I did get moving and get out the door... to be hit by my first psycho-encounter of the day.
He's a candidate. Nice guy - but nuts. Like way too many candidates, he'd really like me to make water out of wine. Yes, I said that correctly.. he's got wine right now and he's completely drunk off his hind-end. Water, for him, would be helpful. Unfortunately, he wasn't talking to the progeny of God; he was talking to me. Miracle-worker? Yeah, not so much. So, after I get the guy back into reality, I realize.. this is the third time in two days we've had this same conversation. Who's life am I in??
Know when to cut your losses. There are going to be times that people just don't get it. That's ok. Can't really get mad about it, because well... what's the point? It's not going to change the situation, other than to make you want to grab a punching bag. And seriously, what did that punching bag EVER do to you?
So, then we're on to the part of the day that's affectionately known as "fun with the ex." Doesn't really matter which ex- I'm talking to; it's all the same conversation. "Oh, you're having a bad day (again)? ... Sorry to hear that... No, I can't really fix it because, you see, I have my own life to attend to right now... Yes, I understand that your world is upside-down; but, remember? That's not my life anymore (pause for effect and shake head in disbelief)." I may be the girl you want with you when you bury the body... but that doesn't mean I'm actually going to DO it. That's kind of reserved for very good friends. LOL Anyway, the "fun with the ex" is really that I don't have to deal with it any longer. It's like watching a campy 70s flick - you can realize it's a train-wreck, you feel bad for the people who got sucked into it, and you can find a sort of empathetic humor in it because... well... it's not happening TO YOU. I don't know, maybe this is a warped view; but, I think when you get there, you're in a healthier place.
As an aside, Starbucks rocks. Seriously. Drive-thru coffee when you're groggy as a marsh-bottom is truly some kind of twisted God-Send. I say it's twisted because it's addicting and it's probably too easy for your own good. If you actually have to make the coffee, you're less likely to consume gallons of it. However, as it stands, there is a Starbucks across from my work and I should be approaching "benefactor status." Wouldn't it be great if Starbucks had some kind of "rewards program?" LOL As I write this, I realize I'm probably going to get some kind of response saying that there IS, in fact, a rewards program; you just have to actually get out of the car and go inside to discover it. But, that cripples what makes Starbucks such a beauty of creation. On to the office.
The Office. I love my office. Seriously. I never know what I'm going to encounter. There is almost always a tangible synergy there. You can always hear the din (unless it's a weekend or Friday after 3 o'clock.. then it's pretty darn quiet); but, most mornings, you can FEEL it. Kinda creepy, but good to establish forward momentum. We drive each other. The "X" factor at work is the conversation. There has not been one day in my office where I didn't get into some strange conversation that, at the end of it, I wondered how I ever got entangled into that conversation to begin with. Today it was about whether or not it is better to pop a pimple or let it fester and go away on it's own. I know, gross, right? And that conversation had absolutely nothing to do with business... but hey, she left smiling... so, I guess it's all good. Today, though, there was too much distraction. I couldn't concentrate; needed quiet. Had to go home.
When I got home, I realized that I had been locked out of my home. Thank you Nicole (my housekeeper). Who gets locked out of their house as a single person? I mean, isn't that really reserved for non-paying renters or displaced spouses??? But, it reminded me that I needed to call a casual pal of mine that I just found out was displaced. Of course, being nuts, I called her before I got into my own house. Hey, might as well do it while it's fresh on the mind. Thank God there's noone in my life that could actually throw my clothes out on the front lawn. Noone would want my knickers in the yard, anyway - but, I'm pretty sure that would kill me. Death by mortification.
Naptime. I'm not really a big nap person, but I could really get behind the English concept of "tea-time." Lately, around 3, I'm dying to turn my brain off for a few minutes. Today, we got to experience the joy of a migraine and wierd "brain-fog" (technical term); so, a few minutes was more like a couple of hours. Anyway, it feels like by 3 or so, I've overloaded my brain. There's no more room to assimilate information. Sorry, I've checked out; come back later. Maybe "tea-time" would make that better. Allow the cramping to stop; give the information time to file and sort itself away and then back to reality. Maybe I should bring this up at the next committee meeting.
Men. Well, it could read women just as easily, I suppose... depends on the gender you are. I'm a chick, so for me.. it's men. But, if you're single and you're dating (which contrary to popular belief, does not necessarily go hand-in-hand), it's almost a given that there's going to be at least ONE encounter with the opposite sex each day that makes you go "Hmm." Today, no exception.. but, because it's "Odd day" it's more of a "Huh?" moment. Here's the set-up: went out with this guy about a month or two back (I lose track of exactly when and how long). Nice guy, and we got along, but there was nothing really extraordinary there. Nothing that drove me to really want to see this guy again. In fact, I don't think he's even crossed my mind for a month. So, out of the blue the guy calls today wanting to do something. Once I get my wits about me, I thought "Sure, why not?" Ok... so, he wants to go... ready for this? COW TIPPING. 'Cause, after all, we're really all still in junior high, in Podunk, USA. After I regain composure and stop laughing hysterically in the phone, I pass. Seriously, I'm not really sure you should ask someone else to do something with you that will, in all likelyhood, have you committed to an insane asylum. I am a SANE pyscho, after all. And to wind up the "MEN" conversation, today was a boob shirt day. I was impressed though; there was actually one man I had a conversation with (in person) today who actually kept his eyes above my chest. LOL Wonders never cease. For women who do have a decent-sized chest, I strongly suggest having a regular "boob shirt" day. It's kind of fun to see how people act - and extremely funny.
I ordered Weeds today. The TV show DVD - not the illegal substance or the junk you pull up out of your garden. I'm still not really certain how people are able to ship something out that hasn't even been released yet; but, I concede I haven't really put any thought into it. I don't really care, as long as it arrives next week via UPS.
I'm working on a new blog article. It's about sex. Specifically, sex and the single person. I'm intersted to explore the different ideas and common themes that the single person has/deals with regarding sex. Probably because it's been an issue in my own dating life... well, I guess it's an issue in everyone's, right? Seems like we all either want it, got it, don't want it, need it, have too much of it, wondering if we should have it or are trying to get it. I think that covers the gamut. What I'm interested in is more of the side-effects of what we're searching for. What does it do for us? Does it end up being a positive experience or a negative one? Why? And, throw in the gender factor: do you think that most men/women have the same ideas regarding sex? I know I'm not breaking nobel prize-winning ground or anything, but I've got an inquiring mind and I want to know.
The good news is that Ed McMahon should be coming to my door in August. I should probably sit by the door and wait so I don't miss him. I seriously have to wonder if that whole thing isn't a conspiracy... Really. Does ANYONE know ANYONE who knew ANYONE that was ever greeted with that honking check by Mr. McMahon? I don't think so!
Finally, to round out the odd-day... I've just realized this is the second night in a row I've had no dreams. I don't remember when the last time I had dreamless sleep was... it's not common. Average every-day sane psycho signing off. Hope you all had interesting days, too... even if they were odd. I have to go wait and see if the phone rings, now. ;) Take care, folks.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Myspace Migration: Too Funny Only In Hollywood
Only In Hollywood
Its time for the envelopes, please. Tango hands out the Oscars for Most Dangerous Romantic Movie Myths
My friend Michelle and her on-again-off-again were off. Again. She complained that he just wasnt going to the right lengths to win her back. I need a big gesture, she said. I need roses. I need tears. I need Lloyd Dobler on the front lawn with a boom box raised over his head.
Another friend, Laura, had not met anyone even halfway decent in months, and was starting to wonder if her best friend, Tiny Tony -- a sweetheart who is unfortunately short, bald, and bulbous -- might be the guy for her after all. Ive never been attracted to him or anything, she said. But maybe its a When Harry Met Sally situation. Maybe were meant to be and I just havent noticed.
After almost 15 years as a faithful fan of romantic comedies, Ive come to a painful conclusion: The movies we watch to supplement our love lives are actually sabotaging them. They make us wonder why our ex hasnt appeared in our yard playing In Your Eyes at midnight even though, if he did so, wed file for a restraining order, not a marriage license. They lead us to believe that an older, more sophisticated man who criticizes the way we look/talk/ dress will fall madly in love with our made-over selves -- if it was good enough for Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady, its good enough for us.
A lot of lip service has been paid to the idea that violence in films causes men to be violent in real life. Why isnt anyone calling for warning labels for movies that cause otherwise reasonable women to act like emotional psychopaths? Hollywoods take on love leaves us dissatisfied with the relationships we have, and hungry for the sort of romance that simply never occurs in nature.
Id like to tell you that this realization has caused me to throw out all my old videotapes. Into the trash with you, Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. Youve set me up for failure, Rock Hudson. Its documentaries and presidential biopics from here on in. But a girls gotta dream.
Still, its helpful to at least try to separate fact from fiction. In that spirit, Ive identified some of the most common romantic-movie traps. If you feel yourself slipping back into fantasyland, get thee to a Blockbuster and rent Annie Hall -- the only romantic movie I can think of thats both satisfying and honest.
The Sleepless in Seattle Trap
Like Bill Pullman in the movie, your current boyfriend or fiancé may have committed some unforgivable crimes, such as having lots of allergies but no nickname. Then you hear a voice on the radio, or see a face across a crowded room. Suddenly, you know this stranger is the love of your life. OK, you already have a partner whos perfectly stable and lovely, but Im afraid you will have to end that relationship. After all, in the 30 seconds youve spent with the new man, youve learned everything there is to know about him. And. It. Is. Good. You use Google, gossip, mutual acquaintances, and expensive private investigators to track him down and ask him out to dinner.
See also: Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, A Walk in the Clouds.
The Real Ending: Over dinner, you realize he has bad breath, a wife, and absolutely nothing whatsoever in common with you.
The As Good As It Gets Trap
Youve found a guy who has that certain something -- as well as a bad attitude, a fear of commitment, or just a nonspecific nasty streak. Other than that, though, what a catch. Minor personality flaws wont stand in the way of your fate. You decide that your love can change him, because thats what true love does.
See also: Jerry Maguire, Reality Bites.
The Real Ending: You go to great lengths to show him that youre worth loving before ultimately deciding that hes never going to change -- and that hes the last thing youd want to complete you, anyway.
The An Affair to Remember Trap
You meet the perfect man and make elaborate, romantic plans for the future right away. He takes your number (no need for you to take his) and promises to call the next day. When the phone doesnt ring, you dont worry -- hes your soul mate after all, theres just been some misunderstanding. Two days later, you start to grow concerned that something has happened to him. Is he under a bus somewhere? Has he been taken hostage? You go from concerned to all-out panicked. Despite the gentle protestations of your friends that perhaps hes just not that into you, you remain convinced that he was hit by a cab and rendered a cripple, and is too proud to leave his apartment.
See also: The Notebook.
The Real Ending: Three months later you see him dancing in a club with some chick in a tube top.
The When Harry Met Sally Trap
Youve never been attracted to your male best friend, but recently things in the romance department have been less than enthralling. So you start to wonder -- maybe, just maybe, The One has been staring you in the face all along. Who cares if he still lives in his moms basement? This is destiny, damn it.
The Real Ending: Prepare for an awkward, tequila-induced make-out session that definitely requires an I dont know what I was thinking email the next day.
The Titanic Trap
You just made partner and need to focus on work, but you cant get this new guy off your mind. His name is Bo, he never went to college, and he works at the burrito place where you sometimes grab lunch between clients. Your friends ask what exactly you hope to gain from this relationship, but luckily youre not a snob like them, and you know that a persons job isnt what defines him.
See also: Sabrina, Pretty Woman, Sweet Home Alabama.
The Real Ending: At a company dinner, your boss asks Bo what he does and he replies, I work the grill, but Im hoping to be put on the register soon. Face it: If Leo had made it to dry land, that relationship would never have survived.
The Stepmom Trap
None of your romantic fantasies ended with Prince Charming leaving you for his secretary. Nor did they include falling for an otherwise great man with two sizable and unavoidable flaws (i.e., his children). Dont panic. Contrary to what you might think, this divorce stuff is a piece of cake. Your step kids hate you? All its going to take to turn that around are some good old fashioned sex tips from you (to make the brats more popular, duh) and the untimely death of their mother. Your ex couldnt seem to tie his own shoelaces when you were together? Rest assured that once youve signed the divorce papers, he will clean up his act and become the kind of guy you meant to marry.
See also: The Philadelphia Story, High Society, The Parent Trap, Mrs. Doubtfire.
The Real Ending: You continue to hate the bastard for years to come, despite the fact that your shrink says rage wont help you heal. And whatever side of the joint custody battle you might fall on -- be it mom or stepmom -- the kids arent going to make the situation any easier. If youre a stepmom, get ready for the cry of You cant tell me what to do! Youre not my mother! to take up permanent residence in your psyche. If youre the real mom, the line will be When were at Dads house, Bambi never makes us do our homework/eat our vegetables/stop playing with knives.
The Pretty in Pink Trap
Your next-door neighbor just happens to be a Calvin Klein underwear model. Lucky you. Youve brought him countless jars of jam that need loosening, and even gotten locked out of your place in your cutest dress. Yet he hasnt asked you out. In the words of Journey, Dont stop believin.
See also: Notting Hill, Love Actually.
The Real Ending: Theres a fine line between healthy optimism and insanity. Theres also a reason the quarterback in high school always dated the head cheerleader -- their kind is biologically predetermined to go forth and make other popular kids for everyone else to envy. It might be smarter to set your sights on the guy in 2B with the sweet smile and the receding hairline.
J. Courtney Sullivans first book, Dating Up: The Ultimate Guide to Finding the Man You Deserve is due out from Warner Books in February 2007.
Its time for the envelopes, please. Tango hands out the Oscars for Most Dangerous Romantic Movie Myths
My friend Michelle and her on-again-off-again were off. Again. She complained that he just wasnt going to the right lengths to win her back. I need a big gesture, she said. I need roses. I need tears. I need Lloyd Dobler on the front lawn with a boom box raised over his head.
Another friend, Laura, had not met anyone even halfway decent in months, and was starting to wonder if her best friend, Tiny Tony -- a sweetheart who is unfortunately short, bald, and bulbous -- might be the guy for her after all. Ive never been attracted to him or anything, she said. But maybe its a When Harry Met Sally situation. Maybe were meant to be and I just havent noticed.
After almost 15 years as a faithful fan of romantic comedies, Ive come to a painful conclusion: The movies we watch to supplement our love lives are actually sabotaging them. They make us wonder why our ex hasnt appeared in our yard playing In Your Eyes at midnight even though, if he did so, wed file for a restraining order, not a marriage license. They lead us to believe that an older, more sophisticated man who criticizes the way we look/talk/ dress will fall madly in love with our made-over selves -- if it was good enough for Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady, its good enough for us.
A lot of lip service has been paid to the idea that violence in films causes men to be violent in real life. Why isnt anyone calling for warning labels for movies that cause otherwise reasonable women to act like emotional psychopaths? Hollywoods take on love leaves us dissatisfied with the relationships we have, and hungry for the sort of romance that simply never occurs in nature.
Id like to tell you that this realization has caused me to throw out all my old videotapes. Into the trash with you, Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. Youve set me up for failure, Rock Hudson. Its documentaries and presidential biopics from here on in. But a girls gotta dream.
Still, its helpful to at least try to separate fact from fiction. In that spirit, Ive identified some of the most common romantic-movie traps. If you feel yourself slipping back into fantasyland, get thee to a Blockbuster and rent Annie Hall -- the only romantic movie I can think of thats both satisfying and honest.
The Sleepless in Seattle Trap
Like Bill Pullman in the movie, your current boyfriend or fiancé may have committed some unforgivable crimes, such as having lots of allergies but no nickname. Then you hear a voice on the radio, or see a face across a crowded room. Suddenly, you know this stranger is the love of your life. OK, you already have a partner whos perfectly stable and lovely, but Im afraid you will have to end that relationship. After all, in the 30 seconds youve spent with the new man, youve learned everything there is to know about him. And. It. Is. Good. You use Google, gossip, mutual acquaintances, and expensive private investigators to track him down and ask him out to dinner.
See also: Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, A Walk in the Clouds.
The Real Ending: Over dinner, you realize he has bad breath, a wife, and absolutely nothing whatsoever in common with you.
The As Good As It Gets Trap
Youve found a guy who has that certain something -- as well as a bad attitude, a fear of commitment, or just a nonspecific nasty streak. Other than that, though, what a catch. Minor personality flaws wont stand in the way of your fate. You decide that your love can change him, because thats what true love does.
See also: Jerry Maguire, Reality Bites.
The Real Ending: You go to great lengths to show him that youre worth loving before ultimately deciding that hes never going to change -- and that hes the last thing youd want to complete you, anyway.
The An Affair to Remember Trap
You meet the perfect man and make elaborate, romantic plans for the future right away. He takes your number (no need for you to take his) and promises to call the next day. When the phone doesnt ring, you dont worry -- hes your soul mate after all, theres just been some misunderstanding. Two days later, you start to grow concerned that something has happened to him. Is he under a bus somewhere? Has he been taken hostage? You go from concerned to all-out panicked. Despite the gentle protestations of your friends that perhaps hes just not that into you, you remain convinced that he was hit by a cab and rendered a cripple, and is too proud to leave his apartment.
See also: The Notebook.
The Real Ending: Three months later you see him dancing in a club with some chick in a tube top.
The When Harry Met Sally Trap
Youve never been attracted to your male best friend, but recently things in the romance department have been less than enthralling. So you start to wonder -- maybe, just maybe, The One has been staring you in the face all along. Who cares if he still lives in his moms basement? This is destiny, damn it.
The Real Ending: Prepare for an awkward, tequila-induced make-out session that definitely requires an I dont know what I was thinking email the next day.
The Titanic Trap
You just made partner and need to focus on work, but you cant get this new guy off your mind. His name is Bo, he never went to college, and he works at the burrito place where you sometimes grab lunch between clients. Your friends ask what exactly you hope to gain from this relationship, but luckily youre not a snob like them, and you know that a persons job isnt what defines him.
See also: Sabrina, Pretty Woman, Sweet Home Alabama.
The Real Ending: At a company dinner, your boss asks Bo what he does and he replies, I work the grill, but Im hoping to be put on the register soon. Face it: If Leo had made it to dry land, that relationship would never have survived.
The Stepmom Trap
None of your romantic fantasies ended with Prince Charming leaving you for his secretary. Nor did they include falling for an otherwise great man with two sizable and unavoidable flaws (i.e., his children). Dont panic. Contrary to what you might think, this divorce stuff is a piece of cake. Your step kids hate you? All its going to take to turn that around are some good old fashioned sex tips from you (to make the brats more popular, duh) and the untimely death of their mother. Your ex couldnt seem to tie his own shoelaces when you were together? Rest assured that once youve signed the divorce papers, he will clean up his act and become the kind of guy you meant to marry.
See also: The Philadelphia Story, High Society, The Parent Trap, Mrs. Doubtfire.
The Real Ending: You continue to hate the bastard for years to come, despite the fact that your shrink says rage wont help you heal. And whatever side of the joint custody battle you might fall on -- be it mom or stepmom -- the kids arent going to make the situation any easier. If youre a stepmom, get ready for the cry of You cant tell me what to do! Youre not my mother! to take up permanent residence in your psyche. If youre the real mom, the line will be When were at Dads house, Bambi never makes us do our homework/eat our vegetables/stop playing with knives.
The Pretty in Pink Trap
Your next-door neighbor just happens to be a Calvin Klein underwear model. Lucky you. Youve brought him countless jars of jam that need loosening, and even gotten locked out of your place in your cutest dress. Yet he hasnt asked you out. In the words of Journey, Dont stop believin.
See also: Notting Hill, Love Actually.
The Real Ending: Theres a fine line between healthy optimism and insanity. Theres also a reason the quarterback in high school always dated the head cheerleader -- their kind is biologically predetermined to go forth and make other popular kids for everyone else to envy. It might be smarter to set your sights on the guy in 2B with the sweet smile and the receding hairline.
J. Courtney Sullivans first book, Dating Up: The Ultimate Guide to Finding the Man You Deserve is due out from Warner Books in February 2007.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Myspace Migration: Soccer Is Easy; It's the Players That Make it Hard
... That's the big take-away from lunch today with Jeff. Actually, he's right - it's quite profound, when you think about it. Life really isn't all that complex until we make it so. So, we're difficult - our circumstances are just that... circumstances. But, it's like that song I love from Tool, Aenima, We:
Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car.
It's a Bull sh*t three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks...
WE freak out and make our circumstances into things bigger than they are. See if that gives you any kind of "Ah-ha" moment... it certainly did for me.
Interesting session with Harwell today. Can't forget to expound on that later. Not now. Just wanted to write down this stuff so I didn't forget it. Feeling really at peace at the moment.
~~~~
Ok, my afternoon, while parts of it were fun, was not so stellar. One of my clients "paid" their bill, but it bounced. So - I don't get paid on that yet. Stinks. I LOATHE playing bill collector.
Traded out my phone for a Treo 650. Anyone know how to use one of those? I could use some advanced tutorials - I've got the basics down, but it's still very clumsy to me. The text messaging part is easier, though!
Ok, time to dig in deeper on today's session with Harwell. Have you ever heard that song, "Everything You Know is Wrong?" Love that song, but I think it's a Wierd Al song, not positive .. it's somewhat applicable to my view on relationships. Evidentally, I need to take more risks, and stop being reactive to my relationships. I guess I really didn't see myself as "reactive" - but, it makes sense. If you don't put yourself out there and make yourself available, you don't get hurt. So, now I have to work on being the one to perpetuate things, opening doors (not literally), and taking risks. Telling people how I feel before I need to - what I want in the warm, fuzzy way - because really, the rules are designed to kill the deal, not build it. At least I got commended for knowing what I want out of a relationship and that, evidentally, is healthy stuff. No odd or whacked expectations there! There are a couple of points I'm going to put into play this week. We'll see how that turns out.
I'm bored. Seriously, truly, extremely bored. Nothing is really keeping my attention this evening. I think it's because there are a couple of people I need/want to talk to (one's a need, one's a want) and I can't really focus on anything else. Or, because I need to be sleeping but can't. Though, I got a good night's sleep (mostly) last night - only woke up once in the middle of the night and was in bed before midnight. It's the little things.
I'm probably done with this for this evening, unless I get a wild hair and a subject to get a wild hair over... Night all.
Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car.
It's a Bull sh*t three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks...
WE freak out and make our circumstances into things bigger than they are. See if that gives you any kind of "Ah-ha" moment... it certainly did for me.
Interesting session with Harwell today. Can't forget to expound on that later. Not now. Just wanted to write down this stuff so I didn't forget it. Feeling really at peace at the moment.
~~~~
Ok, my afternoon, while parts of it were fun, was not so stellar. One of my clients "paid" their bill, but it bounced. So - I don't get paid on that yet. Stinks. I LOATHE playing bill collector.
Traded out my phone for a Treo 650. Anyone know how to use one of those? I could use some advanced tutorials - I've got the basics down, but it's still very clumsy to me. The text messaging part is easier, though!
Ok, time to dig in deeper on today's session with Harwell. Have you ever heard that song, "Everything You Know is Wrong?" Love that song, but I think it's a Wierd Al song, not positive .. it's somewhat applicable to my view on relationships. Evidentally, I need to take more risks, and stop being reactive to my relationships. I guess I really didn't see myself as "reactive" - but, it makes sense. If you don't put yourself out there and make yourself available, you don't get hurt. So, now I have to work on being the one to perpetuate things, opening doors (not literally), and taking risks. Telling people how I feel before I need to - what I want in the warm, fuzzy way - because really, the rules are designed to kill the deal, not build it. At least I got commended for knowing what I want out of a relationship and that, evidentally, is healthy stuff. No odd or whacked expectations there! There are a couple of points I'm going to put into play this week. We'll see how that turns out.
I'm bored. Seriously, truly, extremely bored. Nothing is really keeping my attention this evening. I think it's because there are a couple of people I need/want to talk to (one's a need, one's a want) and I can't really focus on anything else. Or, because I need to be sleeping but can't. Though, I got a good night's sleep (mostly) last night - only woke up once in the middle of the night and was in bed before midnight. It's the little things.
I'm probably done with this for this evening, unless I get a wild hair and a subject to get a wild hair over... Night all.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Myspace Migration: One Red Paperclip
So, below is a story of what this one guy did with his blog... too cool... just shows the power of the creative mind. And what in the heck am I doing with my blog? Rehashing my favorite poetry and figuring out who I want to date. Lovely. LOL Story's below.. have fun!
Blogger's quest ends with keys to house
By BRIAN BERGSTEIN, AP Technology WriterMon Jul 10, 2:32 PM ET
Taking a paper clip and turning it into a house sounds like a cheesy magic trick or a phony instance of resourcefulness on the 1980s TV show "MacGyver."
Kyle MacDonald, however, has pulled it off.
One year ago, the 26-year-old blogger from Montreal set out to barter one red paper clip for something and that thing for something else, over and over again until he had a house.
On Wednesday the quest is ending as envisioned: MacDonald is due to become the proud owner of a three-bedroom, 1,100-square-foot home provided by the town of Kipling, Saskatchewan. MacDonald and his girlfriend, Dominique Dupuis, expect to move there in early September.
"This is such a cool community project. It feels right," MacDonald said. "And now that I think about it, I can't believe that another small town didn't think of it. It will literally put them on the map."
What's in it for the town? The answer requires a quick MacDonald recap, featuring a menagerie of friendly folks, radio talk show hosts and aging celebrities, all bound together by the Internet.
It began when MacDonald, an aspiring writer, doer of odd jobs and apartment dweller, advertised in the barter section of the Craigslist Web site that he wanted something bigger or better for one red paper clip. He traded it for a fish-shaped pen, and posted on Craigslist again and again.
Roaming Canada and the United States, he exchanged the pen for a ceramic knob, and in turn: a camping stove, a generator, a beer keg and Budweiser sign, a snowmobile, a trip to the Canadian Rockies, a supply truck and a recording contract. Next, in April, he got himself really close, obtaining a year's rent in Phoenix.
His adventure became an Internet blockbuster. He did Canadian and Japanese TV and "Good Morning America." He made dozens of local radio appearances one of which, in Los Angeles, was heard by a man who ended up as a pivotal figure.
That man is Corbin Bernsen. You may remember him from his roles in "L.A. Law" and "Major League."
Hip to the publicity-generating machine that is Kyle MacDonald, Bernsen contacted him to say he was writing and directing a movie and would offer a paid speaking role as an item available for trade.
MacDonald was thrilled. But he feared the integrity of his journey would be compromised if he accepted the role without trading Bernsen something he really could use. Say what you want about "Major League 3," but Bernsen has done well enough that he doesn't need a free apartment in Phoenix.
So MacDonald kept Bernsen's offer off his blog, but plowed ahead with an eye to finding something Bernsen would legitimately want.
Seemingly disregarding good economic sense, MacDonald traded the year's rent for an afternoon with rocker Alice Cooper. (MacDonald's response: "Alice Cooper is a gold mine of awesomeness and fun.") Then in a move that really confused his blog readers, MacDonald bartered time with Cooper for a snow globe depicting the band Kiss.
Re-enter Corbin Bernsen.
You see, since the days when he'd get free stuff on promotional tours for "L.A. Law," Bernsen has amassed a collection of 6,500 snow globes. "One off, they look sort of goofy," Bernsen said. "Put them all together and they sort of look like pop art."
So MacDonald gave Bernsen the Kiss model and encouraged his blog readers to send the actor even more globes in exchange for autographed pictures.
All this delighted the elders in Kipling, a town of 1,140 believed to have been named in honor of author Rudyard Kipling.
Like many rural towns, Kipling is eager to stave off the perils of dwindling population by attracting new businesses, tourism and above all, attention. When the local development coordinator, Bert Roach, heard about MacDonald's odyssey, he suggested at the next council meeting that Kipling lure him.
Quickly the town purchased an unoccupied rental house on Main Street and offered it to MacDonald. Roach won't disclose the price because MacDonald says he doesn't want to know. But Roach says it was well under the going rate in Kipling, which is about $50,000 Canadian (US$45,000).
The town also pledged to put a giant red paper clip at a highway rest stop and hold an "American Idol"-style competition for the movie role. Participants will have to make a donation to the town's parks department and a charity.
When MacDonald agreed last week, "I was holding back tears, I was so bloody happy," Roach said. "It's going to be such a great project for our community."
Bernsen says that if the right person emerges in the talent show, he'd be willing to cast him or her as a lead. "Maybe a career is going to get started. Maybe it's going to be huge. Maybe that's the magic of Kyle."
MacDonald doesn't expect to live in Kipling forever. But he says he'll make it home at least while he settles down to write a book.
Of course, even if the house came free, he'll have the usual homeowner headaches: taxes, utilities, upkeep. It should come as no surprise that MacDonald isn't worried.
"I'll figure something out," he said. "I can get a job. There's three grocery stores in town."
___
On the Net:
MacDonald's blog:
http://oneredpaperclip.blogspot.com
Blogger's quest ends with keys to house
By BRIAN BERGSTEIN, AP Technology WriterMon Jul 10, 2:32 PM ET
Taking a paper clip and turning it into a house sounds like a cheesy magic trick or a phony instance of resourcefulness on the 1980s TV show "MacGyver."
Kyle MacDonald, however, has pulled it off.
One year ago, the 26-year-old blogger from Montreal set out to barter one red paper clip for something and that thing for something else, over and over again until he had a house.
On Wednesday the quest is ending as envisioned: MacDonald is due to become the proud owner of a three-bedroom, 1,100-square-foot home provided by the town of Kipling, Saskatchewan. MacDonald and his girlfriend, Dominique Dupuis, expect to move there in early September.
"This is such a cool community project. It feels right," MacDonald said. "And now that I think about it, I can't believe that another small town didn't think of it. It will literally put them on the map."
What's in it for the town? The answer requires a quick MacDonald recap, featuring a menagerie of friendly folks, radio talk show hosts and aging celebrities, all bound together by the Internet.
It began when MacDonald, an aspiring writer, doer of odd jobs and apartment dweller, advertised in the barter section of the Craigslist Web site that he wanted something bigger or better for one red paper clip. He traded it for a fish-shaped pen, and posted on Craigslist again and again.
Roaming Canada and the United States, he exchanged the pen for a ceramic knob, and in turn: a camping stove, a generator, a beer keg and Budweiser sign, a snowmobile, a trip to the Canadian Rockies, a supply truck and a recording contract. Next, in April, he got himself really close, obtaining a year's rent in Phoenix.
His adventure became an Internet blockbuster. He did Canadian and Japanese TV and "Good Morning America." He made dozens of local radio appearances one of which, in Los Angeles, was heard by a man who ended up as a pivotal figure.
That man is Corbin Bernsen. You may remember him from his roles in "L.A. Law" and "Major League."
Hip to the publicity-generating machine that is Kyle MacDonald, Bernsen contacted him to say he was writing and directing a movie and would offer a paid speaking role as an item available for trade.
MacDonald was thrilled. But he feared the integrity of his journey would be compromised if he accepted the role without trading Bernsen something he really could use. Say what you want about "Major League 3," but Bernsen has done well enough that he doesn't need a free apartment in Phoenix.
So MacDonald kept Bernsen's offer off his blog, but plowed ahead with an eye to finding something Bernsen would legitimately want.
Seemingly disregarding good economic sense, MacDonald traded the year's rent for an afternoon with rocker Alice Cooper. (MacDonald's response: "Alice Cooper is a gold mine of awesomeness and fun.") Then in a move that really confused his blog readers, MacDonald bartered time with Cooper for a snow globe depicting the band Kiss.
Re-enter Corbin Bernsen.
You see, since the days when he'd get free stuff on promotional tours for "L.A. Law," Bernsen has amassed a collection of 6,500 snow globes. "One off, they look sort of goofy," Bernsen said. "Put them all together and they sort of look like pop art."
So MacDonald gave Bernsen the Kiss model and encouraged his blog readers to send the actor even more globes in exchange for autographed pictures.
All this delighted the elders in Kipling, a town of 1,140 believed to have been named in honor of author Rudyard Kipling.
Like many rural towns, Kipling is eager to stave off the perils of dwindling population by attracting new businesses, tourism and above all, attention. When the local development coordinator, Bert Roach, heard about MacDonald's odyssey, he suggested at the next council meeting that Kipling lure him.
Quickly the town purchased an unoccupied rental house on Main Street and offered it to MacDonald. Roach won't disclose the price because MacDonald says he doesn't want to know. But Roach says it was well under the going rate in Kipling, which is about $50,000 Canadian (US$45,000).
The town also pledged to put a giant red paper clip at a highway rest stop and hold an "American Idol"-style competition for the movie role. Participants will have to make a donation to the town's parks department and a charity.
When MacDonald agreed last week, "I was holding back tears, I was so bloody happy," Roach said. "It's going to be such a great project for our community."
Bernsen says that if the right person emerges in the talent show, he'd be willing to cast him or her as a lead. "Maybe a career is going to get started. Maybe it's going to be huge. Maybe that's the magic of Kyle."
MacDonald doesn't expect to live in Kipling forever. But he says he'll make it home at least while he settles down to write a book.
Of course, even if the house came free, he'll have the usual homeowner headaches: taxes, utilities, upkeep. It should come as no surprise that MacDonald isn't worried.
"I'll figure something out," he said. "I can get a job. There's three grocery stores in town."
___
On the Net:
MacDonald's blog:
http://oneredpaperclip.blogspot.com
Friday, February 24, 2006
Myspace Migration: If It's Meant to Be
So, Ok.... have to vent a little bit here. Was talking to a candidate today and wanted to go a little bit postal on the comment of "If it's meant to be, it will happen." ARE YOU KIDDING ME????
Don't get me wrong; that's a perfectly appropriate sentiment... in some cases. Relationships - if they're meant to be, you'll find a way to make it work and it will happen. Job offers - put your best foot forward in the interview and if it's meant to be, it will happen. BUT... notice a trend here; in both of those examples there was an effort to exude before simply giving it up to fate.
It really drives me nuts when people let their life drive them. We are either the sole, uncontested authors of our life (which, this is not a religion thing; I know that God is the author of my creation, but through free will He allowed for me to be the author of my life) ... or we are not. This phrase feels SO much like an excuse not to try.
I think there's more I want to say on this, but I really need a nap..... soooo, "if it's meant to be, I guess I'll write more later."
Don't get me wrong; that's a perfectly appropriate sentiment... in some cases. Relationships - if they're meant to be, you'll find a way to make it work and it will happen. Job offers - put your best foot forward in the interview and if it's meant to be, it will happen. BUT... notice a trend here; in both of those examples there was an effort to exude before simply giving it up to fate.
It really drives me nuts when people let their life drive them. We are either the sole, uncontested authors of our life (which, this is not a religion thing; I know that God is the author of my creation, but through free will He allowed for me to be the author of my life) ... or we are not. This phrase feels SO much like an excuse not to try.
I think there's more I want to say on this, but I really need a nap..... soooo, "if it's meant to be, I guess I'll write more later."
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