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Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Myspace Migration: Average Every-day Sane Psycho

Some days you just know are going to be odd. They start out just plain wierd and then move to the left from there. Today, my friends, was definately an "odd day." And I'll warn you, so is this blog posting. It's going to be a rambler, folks...
Odd days are interesting, though. You get to experience the surreal, you interact with true characters and they always leave an impression. Today... no exception. The day started with something that rarely ever happens to me: I overslept. And not just by a little bit ~ Oh, no! I overslept by literally hours. Plural. Like 3. Even after I woke up (KNOWING there was somewhere else I needed to be), I just couldn't get the engine running. Eventually, of course, I did get moving and get out the door... to be hit by my first psycho-encounter of the day.

He's a candidate. Nice guy - but nuts. Like way too many candidates, he'd really like me to make water out of wine. Yes, I said that correctly.. he's got wine right now and he's completely drunk off his hind-end. Water, for him, would be helpful. Unfortunately, he wasn't talking to the progeny of God; he was talking to me. Miracle-worker? Yeah, not so much. So, after I get the guy back into reality, I realize.. this is the third time in two days we've had this same conversation. Who's life am I in??

Know when to cut your losses. There are going to be times that people just don't get it. That's ok. Can't really get mad about it, because well... what's the point? It's not going to change the situation, other than to make you want to grab a punching bag. And seriously, what did that punching bag EVER do to you?
So, then we're on to the part of the day that's affectionately known as "fun with the ex." Doesn't really matter which ex- I'm talking to; it's all the same conversation. "Oh, you're having a bad day (again)? ... Sorry to hear that... No, I can't really fix it because, you see, I have my own life to attend to right now... Yes, I understand that your world is upside-down; but, remember? That's not my life anymore (pause for effect and shake head in disbelief)." I may be the girl you want with you when you bury the body... but that doesn't mean I'm actually going to DO it. That's kind of reserved for very good friends. LOL Anyway, the "fun with the ex" is really that I don't have to deal with it any longer. It's like watching a campy 70s flick - you can realize it's a train-wreck, you feel bad for the people who got sucked into it, and you can find a sort of empathetic humor in it because... well... it's not happening TO YOU. I don't know, maybe this is a warped view; but, I think when you get there, you're in a healthier place.

As an aside, Starbucks rocks. Seriously. Drive-thru coffee when you're groggy as a marsh-bottom is truly some kind of twisted God-Send. I say it's twisted because it's addicting and it's probably too easy for your own good. If you actually have to make the coffee, you're less likely to consume gallons of it. However, as it stands, there is a Starbucks across from my work and I should be approaching "benefactor status." Wouldn't it be great if Starbucks had some kind of "rewards program?" LOL As I write this, I realize I'm probably going to get some kind of response saying that there IS, in fact, a rewards program; you just have to actually get out of the car and go inside to discover it. But, that cripples what makes Starbucks such a beauty of creation. On to the office.

The Office. I love my office. Seriously. I never know what I'm going to encounter. There is almost always a tangible synergy there. You can always hear the din (unless it's a weekend or Friday after 3 o'clock.. then it's pretty darn quiet); but, most mornings, you can FEEL it. Kinda creepy, but good to establish forward momentum. We drive each other. The "X" factor at work is the conversation. There has not been one day in my office where I didn't get into some strange conversation that, at the end of it, I wondered how I ever got entangled into that conversation to begin with. Today it was about whether or not it is better to pop a pimple or let it fester and go away on it's own. I know, gross, right? And that conversation had absolutely nothing to do with business... but hey, she left smiling... so, I guess it's all good. Today, though, there was too much distraction. I couldn't concentrate; needed quiet. Had to go home.

When I got home, I realized that I had been locked out of my home. Thank you Nicole (my housekeeper). Who gets locked out of their house as a single person? I mean, isn't that really reserved for non-paying renters or displaced spouses??? But, it reminded me that I needed to call a casual pal of mine that I just found out was displaced. Of course, being nuts, I called her before I got into my own house. Hey, might as well do it while it's fresh on the mind. Thank God there's noone in my life that could actually throw my clothes out on the front lawn. Noone would want my knickers in the yard, anyway - but, I'm pretty sure that would kill me. Death by mortification.

Naptime. I'm not really a big nap person, but I could really get behind the English concept of "tea-time." Lately, around 3, I'm dying to turn my brain off for a few minutes. Today, we got to experience the joy of a migraine and wierd "brain-fog" (technical term); so, a few minutes was more like a couple of hours. Anyway, it feels like by 3 or so, I've overloaded my brain. There's no more room to assimilate information. Sorry, I've checked out; come back later. Maybe "tea-time" would make that better. Allow the cramping to stop; give the information time to file and sort itself away and then back to reality. Maybe I should bring this up at the next committee meeting.

Men. Well, it could read women just as easily, I suppose... depends on the gender you are. I'm a chick, so for me.. it's men. But, if you're single and you're dating (which contrary to popular belief, does not necessarily go hand-in-hand), it's almost a given that there's going to be at least ONE encounter with the opposite sex each day that makes you go "Hmm." Today, no exception.. but, because it's "Odd day" it's more of a "Huh?" moment. Here's the set-up: went out with this guy about a month or two back (I lose track of exactly when and how long). Nice guy, and we got along, but there was nothing really extraordinary there. Nothing that drove me to really want to see this guy again. In fact, I don't think he's even crossed my mind for a month. So, out of the blue the guy calls today wanting to do something. Once I get my wits about me, I thought "Sure, why not?" Ok... so, he wants to go... ready for this? COW TIPPING. 'Cause, after all, we're really all still in junior high, in Podunk, USA. After I regain composure and stop laughing hysterically in the phone, I pass. Seriously, I'm not really sure you should ask someone else to do something with you that will, in all likelyhood, have you committed to an insane asylum. I am a SANE pyscho, after all. And to wind up the "MEN" conversation, today was a boob shirt day. I was impressed though; there was actually one man I had a conversation with (in person) today who actually kept his eyes above my chest. LOL Wonders never cease. For women who do have a decent-sized chest, I strongly suggest having a regular "boob shirt" day. It's kind of fun to see how people act - and extremely funny.

I ordered Weeds today. The TV show DVD - not the illegal substance or the junk you pull up out of your garden. I'm still not really certain how people are able to ship something out that hasn't even been released yet; but, I concede I haven't really put any thought into it. I don't really care, as long as it arrives next week via UPS.
I'm working on a new blog article. It's about sex. Specifically, sex and the single person. I'm intersted to explore the different ideas and common themes that the single person has/deals with regarding sex. Probably because it's been an issue in my own dating life... well, I guess it's an issue in everyone's, right? Seems like we all either want it, got it, don't want it, need it, have too much of it, wondering if we should have it or are trying to get it. I think that covers the gamut. What I'm interested in is more of the side-effects of what we're searching for. What does it do for us? Does it end up being a positive experience or a negative one? Why? And, throw in the gender factor: do you think that most men/women have the same ideas regarding sex? I know I'm not breaking nobel prize-winning ground or anything, but I've got an inquiring mind and I want to know.

The good news is that Ed McMahon should be coming to my door in August. I should probably sit by the door and wait so I don't miss him. I seriously have to wonder if that whole thing isn't a conspiracy... Really. Does ANYONE know ANYONE who knew ANYONE that was ever greeted with that honking check by Mr. McMahon? I don't think so!

Finally, to round out the odd-day... I've just realized this is the second night in a row I've had no dreams. I don't remember when the last time I had dreamless sleep was... it's not common. Average every-day sane psycho signing off. Hope you all had interesting days, too... even if they were odd. I have to go wait and see if the phone rings, now. ;) Take care, folks.

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