Just (Say It) Do It

Inspired by my Facebook Friends “Fit Chick In The City” – love them!

So, maybe I’ve fallen down on my workouts a little.  Or a lot; you know, it’s open to interpretation.  ;)  But, if I’m honest?  It’s just one area of many that took a backseat to work lately.  In an effort to regain ‘lifestyle Feng Shui’  - I’m taking #TR30Days to a ‘micro’ level.  We’re busting out one week.  That’s it.  Just one focus:  My health.....

You can read the rest HERE

Piglet, Pooh, & Relationships: Things I wish I Knew Earlier #TR30Days

Love my new website; HATE the stats tracker on Wordpress.  Seriously, hate it.  Miss being able to see the info by operating system, countries visited, etc.  So, I'm still going to write everything over there; but maybe I'll put a teaser & redirect traffic from here to there. :p  Gonna give it a shot, anyway; according to my stats here, folks are still reading (and some RANDOM old stuff, too! :p ):

Piglet, Pooh & Relationships:  Things I Wish I'd Figured Out Earlier w/ Poison & Wine 

Tonight on Twitter, they had a discussion – a chat – on one of the Twitter channels, #GenYChat.  I went, expecting it to be on business; but, it was actually on marriage/significant romantic relationships.  So not my area of expertise; as the closest thing I have to a romantic relationship is my love affair with coffee.  And since it’s a one-sided love (1) as I’m pretty sure the coffee doesn’t miss me the way I miss it when I don’t have it?? Not sure that really counts.    But, despite my experiential disadvantage in the subject matter; I tried to stick it out.  Made it about halfway through & then they started talking about cheating, and “must-haves/must-not haves” criteria lists for partners, are we naturally monogomous … very subjective and personal questions.  Stuff I’m not going to be learning from; but rather turning purple sharing my opinions/history on those subjects with strangers on twitter.   Which, when I think about it is kind of funny; as I share a lot of my life on here & goodness knows who ends up reading it! (see the rest on Wordpress by clicking the title above.. :)  )

Trouble

Love this song.  Have for years.. I think there's a blog in here around January of 2009 of me messing around singing it (sorta) while I was a 'one-eyed purple people eater..."  (1)  Anyway, cool song, Love ColdPlay so, so much.  Was listening to it today on the way home because, well... I felt troubled and so it just seemed to fit.  This might not be the most smooth blog post I've ever done; but it's what's on my mind. 

Recently, I read The Help as my "Fun" book.  You know, the one you don't really need to engage your brain in to enjoy?  That you're not reading to better yourself in business or personally; it's just to relax. Well, that was my intent w/ this book; but it ended up having an unintended, yet profound, effect on the way I view a few things.. not the least of which is my perspective on the perspective of others. (2)  

It's a great book; and I'd highly recommend it as it relays life, Pre-Civil Rights movement, in Jackson, Mississipi from the perspective of "The Help."  One of the characters in the book ends up writing a book on it and it turns the town on it's ear.  Those written about were humiliated; some probably rightfully so... but I'd doubt that they'd agree with that sentiment.


Not gonna lie, it got to me a little bit.  See, a lot of what I write relates to MY LIFE.  I'm okay with that; and I'm constantly reading things that say "Write like you talk & write what you know."  (3)  What am I going to know better than that?? The trick is this:  I don't live in a bubble.  So, what I write about is interaction w/ others on topics that are likely going to be of interest to people.  The reality is that we spend the majority of our time working or dealing with relationships of various shapes & sizes.   I read on "summify" something that sums up the content choices I make nicely:  "Don't try to sell broccoli ice-cream; even if that's your favorite... "  As much as I'd love to think the world shares my shoe obsession or wants to hear never-ending stories about my obsession with the perfect souffle?  I know they don't.  And that's okay - I don't want to write about those things any more than you likely want to read them.

But... in writing about my life and including those that interact with me in it? Can come with a price. I've had some make comments about how they "Don't want to end up in my blog" - and I don't blame them. Typically, I tell people that if they don't do anything massively idiotic; they probably won't... unless I'm talking about past relationships.. and they don't really get a say, since they're not named. But, I hadn't really put much thought into how it makes them feel reading it. The truth is, like the song says... I never [meant] to cause trouble... and I don't want to potentially hurt someone for the sake of a laugh, page view, or follower. I'm completely comfortable with the posts where relationships/work/culture are fused together... but, the dating posts? As much as I love writing them (and they are fun to write); I'm finding that more difficult to do now that I'm trying to look at it from the way the subject would feel reading it. 

At first, I thought I'd just remove the 'personal experiences' out of the blog all together unless it was related to the workplace or parenting. But, in talking with a friend tonight; he helped me see why that wouldn't work.. and why sometimes, people are uncomfortable because they don't like seeing others perspectives of them (4).. but, it doesn't mean it shouldn't be said. He's right. Growth doesn't come out of comfortable or safe... neither for them, nor for myself.

What does this mean?? I'm not exactly sure yet. It probably means until I figure it out; there's not going to be a lot of dating posts... or least not ones about my dates. Might start doing some perspectives on third-person experiences; I really am not sure yet. Whatever I write, it'll still have my 'voice;' that much you can count on.  But, you know as soon as I figure it all out? You'll be the first to know. :)

(1) And Here.It.Is!  It was reason #432 why I'm never going to be in broadcasting & reasons #1-1000 why adult beverages, singing & a webcam don't mix AT ALL.  Thank goodness I'm so much older & wiser now.. :p The post right below it explains WHY I had the scary eye going.... WARNING:  IT's painful. And off-key!
(2) there's a mouthful.
(3) Yet another example & a good "How-To" for those wanting to start a blog:  http://www.copyblogger.com/writing-voice/
(4) "others" in this case would be MY perspective

Week 2 is Through.. #TR30Days Update

And really?? This one went better.  Now, I worked some CRAZY hours last week; but, that's okay... just can't do it EVERY week.  Balance.  Life is all about the balance.  I had a pretty busy weekend, too; but got to see Amanda & Jasmin... so the little mini-PRSCamp reunion was fun. Anyway, running late so here's the update!

MIND:

• Cut the cord to the cell phone in the car- specifically, while I'm driving.  While I wasn't on the phone when I got into a minor car accident last week? It really woke me up to the fact that distracted driving probably should have been a factor and it's blind luck that it wasn't.  It was #wakeupcall & I'm taking it.  Whatever's going on?  WILL keep until I put it in park.  Update - Did MUCH better this week.  Only really had one slip-up.  I've started keeping my phone in a little compartment by my steering wheel; this helps.
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• Business Development - I will add 4 new clients from 7/29 to 8/29 :)  I've got a pretty solid business development plan built out and will be executing it.  Tying it to the "NOW" thing? I'm committing to having my daily work put INTO my CRM system at the end of EACH day - I'll admit I can have a tendency to want to neglect the "Administrivia" (3) but it's important, too.  Giving myself the "Three Pass Rule" (4) - I'll commit to giving up my #Wine Wednesday if I hit a 4th infraction where I focus on database development instead.  A 5th infraction will have me giving up a date night - so there will BE no 5th infraction, for sure!!! :)  Update:  So, did get a couple of new clients; which is cool.  Now? I have a crazy ton of data to put in - we were changing systems so I was told to wait till this week to start entering data.  Well, now here we go!
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• Read One Book a Week & One Parenting & Fun Book Over the Challenge - Three a week is way too much for me to realistically keep up with this time, but 1 book a week?  Is a 2 hour time commitment - I can hang with that AND commit to a blog on it to boot!  Also want to read a "just for fun" and a specific parenting book relating to 'girl cliques' before the school year starts back up!  Finished the No Asshole Rule Book - I really DO like it and highly recommend you read it if you are part of team development, leadership, or HR/Culture.   I'm working on 3 books right now:  "Teen as a Second Language," "Outliers," and "The Average American Male."  Can I just say that while I'm enjoying the humor in the last book? It is CRUDE - I'm hoping most men truly don't think that way!
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• Blogging - Can I do three a week?  I think I can. :) I'm also going to make a decision on splitting my blog into 2 by the end of this 30-day or keeping it whole, as is.  Update:  Here's where I'm having a little bit of trouble.  I'm blogging about this in a separate blog post; so, I won't really spoil that... but, after reading "The Help" & watching the movie w/ my friends?  My perspective on... well, perspectives... has shifted a bit & it's affecting what I blog about. As such, I really only got out 2 blogs last week. 

BODY:

• THREE - Three days a week I WILL - do yoga, do strength training, and do swimming.
• TWO - Two days a week I WILL - play tennis & do spin - or spinnish thing Jen taught me (so gonna kill me).
• ONE - EVERY day I will do my 10k - even if it has to be broken into 2 5ks.
• I will drink 2 liters of water a day.

Update:  So, still having trouble getting the 10ks in every day; I've got to stop breaking it up because then I have an issue w/ getting in the other 5k.  Just gonna power through it; my time was better then, too!

SPIRIT:

• Daily Gratitude WITH my Girls - I really enjoyed this last time & it had such a huge impact on my overall outlook in life.  I want to include the girls into this 30 Days so they can enjoy the benefits of a grateful heart/outlook as well; AND so I can gain further parental insights into a different aspect of their personality. ) - Update:  I did keep up w/ my gratitude exercises this past week - this was a bad month to integrate the girls into this challenge, though - I've not had them a whole lot since they've been wrapping up their summer, visiting friends, Grandparents & their Father. Even still, we're doing it this week - so, you'll see it in next week's summary!
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• Bible Study w/ the Girls on Healthy Relationships & Sex:  Because if you wait to talk about it until you "HAVE TO?"  You've waited way too long.  We've chatted about it; but want to start doing a pulse check before we go back to school.  Want to do the study that Shannon Rowell recommended & really hit on what healthy "dating" in Middle School/High School looks like.  Update - They don't like this. Which probably means we should be doing it.  BUT, if they're not wanting to do it; then I'm not sure how much they're really retaining.  So, am considering more casual, less structured conversations to deliver this info. 
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• Charity Work -   REALLY am keen on @lovedrop and want to be more of a part of bringing awareness to that cause during this #TR30Days challenge.  Also will be participating at the Service/Volunteer weekend at Church as being more involved w/ The Branch has been on my 'to-do' list since May of LAST year.  *Oops!*  Was really appreciative of the volunteer weekend & chance to change the 'to-do' to an 'am-doing.' :)  Update:  "GO" was this past weekend and I loved it.  Got my first batch of shoes together for Shoes4OrphanedSouls & participated in LoveDrop & LOVEBOMB!  Feeling good about the progress I've made this past week.  
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Breathing through my New..ish "Now Normal" #TR30Days

"Blog Excerpt:  New Normal

I showered with my eyes closed today.

It required a bit of discipline, but I was able to maneuver myself through my 15 minute suds fest without peeking once. As I clumsily felt around for my Victoria's Secret body wash, feeling like an idiot, I realized that it really wasn't that difficult to scrub-a-dub-dub without the advantage of vision. My senses became heightened. Little eyeballs popped up on each fingertip. I became aware of the sound of the pounding water that I normally tune out, almost as if I could hear each individual drop hitting the tub in a melodious succession. I thought to myself, "I could do this."

I am at peace.

It has taken almost a year, but I am completely at ease with my disease. I have finally reached the Acceptance stage in my grieving process and have learned to adapt mentally and physically. I don't run into things anymore; now I remember to look left and right and up and down before I move anywhere. I laugh at myself when I can't find my cell phone and then realize that it's right in front of me. I don't feel a surge of pain wash over me whenever I hear the word blind. I cheerfully mount the bus each day along with illegal immigrants and homeless men and say hello to them. I look forward to the day I am a mother, instead of dreading not knowing what my children will grow up to look like.

My faith is my medicine.

As life chips away at us, we learn how to evolve and how to expect a different normalcy than what we are accustomed to. What starts out as an inconvenience or a disability can morph into the norm, if we will let it.  I encourage you to yank yourself out of your comfort zone this week and strive to create a new normal, even if it's just for a day. " ~ Laura Lawson (1)

I shared that because I've been thinking a lot about MY 'new normal.'  For me, the 'difficult' in my life?  It's a transitional thing and I know it.  It helps; because frankly?  There are some things in my life that are just a little less than fun.  Gotta be done & I'm dealing with it; but it's easy to lose perspective & get grousy about it.  Add on the fact that I'm just really very busy w/ work trying to make some things happen at present; so, I'm working a LOT of hours, plus the kids' back-to-school stuff...  and the net result is I just feel behind.  My house needs some attention, my nails are full-on in desperate need of a mani/pedi , still haven't gone back-2-school shopping, my car needs inspected .. oh, and turned in to the shop for repairs & my tan needs to be redone.  Finding time to work out has been difficult between family, work, migraines, and writers' block.  :p  I realize there's someone I am really missing in my life; but I'm not quite sure what, if anything, I want to do about it yet.  I know I owe a guy a call back; but for various reasons it hasn't happened.  I want to hang out with Ms. Suzanne; but I forgot to set it up!

Here's the reality - I know that we make time for that which we deem to be a priority.  And this is not me complaining that I don't know how to prioritize; because I do.  The difference between the 'past' and my 'new normal' is that I've noticed that over the last few months?  I'm handling things differently.  I'm just not stressed.  It sounds like a lot; but I know it really isn't in the big picture.  I'm okay with the fact that the guy isn't getting called back at present & with whatever the net-result of that will be.  I recognize that everything will get done in time & it doesn't have to be immediate - even if I'd like it to be... doesn't hurt anything, really.  Don't have to know what to do about my 'missing person' - and shouldn't until I really have the time to properly reflect on an appropriate course of action.  I'm not stressed about the work & I've figured out how to not neglect the children in the process.(2)  Really? The only thing I'm concerned about is my workouts; because it's so tied into my health & my #TR30Days challenge.   I've sort-of accepted that the way I'm approaching things now? Is my reality, my new-ish 'now normal' & that is okay.

Because mostly?  My now normal is just jammed packed w/ gratitude.  I read Laura's blog post and I was grateful to her for sharing her struggles & growth with me; a stranger glimpsing in on her introspection.  For reminding me that my journey to maintain positive balance & personal improvement are opportunities for growth even when it is a struggle; to push outside of my comfort zones & be more.  In spite of.  Because of.  In addition to. And they're nothing so life-shaking or potentially permanent as what she's going through.  

So, here are my gratitude moments for the last few days - because that's a part of my 'now normal' that I want to continue to share: 

1. Nate St. Pierre - we had a fantastic and really inspiring chat this evening that, while totally shooting my bedtime to the 'not going to happen' column; really renewed me.  Thanks, Nate - you're really very cool - I'm honored to have met/know you a bit and your philanthropy work is A-mazing. Keep it up.  
2. My #TR30Days Tribe - I'm cheating a bit because they're on my gratitude list EVERY day; but you guys?  I'm not being over-dramatic in the slightest when I say that you've had a very real, profound impact on my life.  Ty, Amanda, Cheri, Jason, Joni, Belinda - special thank-yous to you! :) 
3. #WineWednesday - because it feels SO good to unwind with a glass of wine & a good #TChat - even if it's just for a little bit. 
4. Meghan Biro!  I seriously think she might be my #Talent Wonder-Twin!  A-Dore Her!  Really have loved our phone & twitter chats over the last week or so.
5. Tangi - You know, it was my ex-boyfriend that really pushed (3) me to be open and not put her in any one box too quickly & I'm really grateful to him that I eventually listened - and probably always will be.  We have a lot in common, as it turns out, & I really enjoy the time we get to spend together on the phone/in person.  Looking forward to seeing her again in a few weeks!  It's still a little strange to 'find' you have family that I never knew growing up; but I'm cool w/ it.  So glad she reached out to us. 
6. High Heels - they just do SUCH good things for your legs.  And they're pretty.  #justsayin

So, time to go to bed because I'm pretty sure it's gonna be difficult to wake up tomorrow AM.  I kinda have to have 4 hours of sleep to function.  This might affect my workout - shift when I do it/how long I do it for... but you know?  I can breathe & roll w/ that, too....  Later, Peeps. 

Just Breathe. 

(1) Check her blog in its entirety at:  http://lauralawson.blogspot.com/2010/05/new-normal.html

(2) though the monkey-bread I made at 2pm because I forgot to make the girls breakfast? Is for sure not winning me parenting of the year; nor is it on my diet.  But, it was yummy! :) 

(3) yes, pushed.  I don't like change when it comes to my family, believe it or not. 

Week One Report: My List .. Would a Mulligan be Cheating?? #TR30Days

Below you'll see a LOVELY list.  Truly, I'm pretty happy with the stuff I want to focus on during this 30-day challenge.  But boy, I don't feel like I made much progress AT ALL this past week.  Work was just insanely busy; and I got to meet my half-sister when she came in town this weekend, which was beyond wonderful.. but, distracting for the purposes of this project.  I concede, I'm a little disappointed.. to the point I considered saying "So, maybe I should shift to where I'm starting THIS week instead of on my birthday..."  But, you know, that'd be cheating.  If I'm dealing with the "NOW," then part of that needs to include 'real-time' course-corrections... and, more importantly?  This is supposed to be a "way of life" project; it wasn't intended to do while I put my life on pause!  I've got to  do a better job of integrating the unexpected with the planned when it comes to things outside of doing my job and caring for my girls.  And I know I can. ;)   So, the update stands.

MIND:

• Cut the cord to the cell phone in the car- specifically, while I'm driving.  While I wasn't on the phone when I got into a minor car accident last week? It really woke me up to the fact that distracted driving probably should have been a factor and it's blind luck that it wasn't.  It was #wakeupcall & I'm taking it.  Whatever's going on?  WILL keep until I put it in park.  Update - Yeah, I did really well with this until Friday night and then it was pretty much #gameover all weekend.  Ridiculous.  So.. starting again this week. 
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• Business Development - I will add 4 new clients from 7/29 to 8/29 :)  I've got a pretty solid business development plan built out and will be executing it.  Tying it to the "NOW" thing? I'm committing to having my daily work put INTO my CRM system at the end of EACH day - I'll admit I can have a tendency to want to neglect the "Administrivia" (3) but it's important, too.  Giving myself the "Three Pass Rule" (4) - I'll commit to giving up my #Wine Wednesday if I hit a 4th infraction where I focus on database development instead.  A 5th infraction will have me giving up a date night - so there will BE no 5th infraction, for sure!!! :)  Update:  I guess I'm making decent headway with this; there's interest but until the ink is dry? Not done! So, I feel behind.   On a somewhat related note, I've been asked to speak at a couple of upcoming events.  I love doing this, so I'm looking forward to it.  More details on that as soon as it's firmed up; but one is on the topic of Talent Marketing -makes sense- and the other is geared for Job Seekers to help them Market themselves like a recruiter.  Fun!   Also, the fabulous @MeghanBiro & I got to take our fun to a different kind of line! Went from 'online' to the phone lines' and had a blast connecting on #Culture & #Tchat w/ her on another level. 
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• Read One Book a Week & One Parenting & Fun Book Over the Challenge - Three a week is way too much for me to realistically keep up with this time, but 1 book a week?  Is a 2 hour time commitment - I can hang with that AND commit to a blog on it to boot!  Also want to read a "just for fun" and a specific parenting book relating to 'girl cliques' before the school year starts back up!  I'm about halfway through the No Asshole Rule Book - I like it; but I've been WAY too swamped to do much about finishing it!  So, maybe I'll try to wrap that up when I'm spending some quality time on the exercise bike this week?? Still, unless I crank out a book this weekend?  I'm behind. 
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• Blogging - Can I do three a week?  I think I can. :) I'm also going to make a decision on splitting my blog into 2 by the end of this 30-day or keeping it whole, as is.  Update:  I did 2 blogs; but I really only liked one of them.  I had the worst case of writer's block this past week!  I'm hoping it goes away when I give up and just write about the family dynamic stuff - because I think (1) that will get my pen moving again.  We'll see. Still.. that's 1 short this week. 

BODY:

• THREE - Three days a week I WILL - do yoga, do strength training, and do swimming.
• TWO - Two days a week I WILL - play tennis & do spin - or spinnish thing Jen taught me (so gonna kill me).
• ONE - EVERY day I will do my 10k - even if it has to be broken into 2 5ks.
• I will drink 2 liters of water a day.

Update:  HAHAHAHAHA... Ok, so I did 12 miles last week.  Not.Even.Close. I DID do the spinnish thing; it DID basically kill me.  I took a few days off because I literally ripped my heels up over the #TNL conference/birthday weekend.  They bled (somewhat badly by Sunday, actually) and really hurt when I walked until Thursday.  BUT, I did drink my water so at least that's something.. of course, I'm pretty sure it's because Texas may literally be hotter than hell right now.  Not sure; it's gotta be close, though. 

SPIRIT:

• Daily Gratitude WITH my Girls - I really enjoyed this last time & it had such a huge impact on my overall outlook in life.  I want to include the girls into this 30 Days so they can enjoy the benefits of a grateful heart/outlook as well; AND so I can gain further parental insights into a different aspect of their personality. ) - Update:  Didn't have them until this weekend; so, will start that today.  BUT, even still?  I didn't keep up with my gratitude exercises 2 days this week.  Was so focused on work that I was a total slacker. 
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• Bible Study w/ the Girls on Healthy Relationships & Sex:  Because if you wait to talk about it until you "HAVE TO?"  You've waited way too long.  We've chatted about it; but want to start doing a pulse check before we go back to school.  Want to do the study that Shannon Rowell recommended & really hit on what healthy "dating" in Middle School/High School looks like.  Update - I DID get the bible study I want to do with them and we're starting it tonight. Yay! :) 
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• Charity Work -   REALLY am keen on @lovedrop and want to be more of a part of bringing awareness to that cause during this #TR30Days challenge.  Also will be participating at the Service/Volunteer weekend at Church as being more involved w/ The Branch has been on my 'to-do' list since May of LAST year.  *Oops!*  Was really appreciative of the volunteer weekend & chance to change the 'to-do' to an 'am-doing.' :)  Update:  I AM registered for "GO" - the Service Weekend at my church; and I did get my "August Charity Vlog" out.. so, I'm tracking on this one.  Vlog is below...  I HATE the frame iMovie chose to land on to start, LOL  what's up with my mouth?????

(1) Read = Hope... otherwise, I have NO idea why I'm locked-up

Happy Birthday to Me; I'm Now 33... #TR30Days

Well, I did it:  I made it to my 33rd birthday.  Over the last week or so, I looked back at each of the blogs I have done over the last few years around my birthday just to see where I was then vs where I am now.  You'd hope there'd be progress, positive change as we grow, right??  Anyway, whether there was or not is likely subjective; but thought I'd share for anyone seriously bored or oddly interested :)

2005:  Just Over 27
2006:  Around 28 Years Old
2007:  29 On the 29th (1)
2008:  The Big 3-0 that wasn't so big
2009:  I skipped my 31 to focus on my Thing #1 (Linds); her birthday is 4 days before mine. You'll see why it's enough.  I was also dealing w/ the accident & subsequent surgical stuff. Too much going on.
2010:  32 - "Had Enough with the 'Have You Found Him Already' Question!"

Now that we know where I've been; where am I now???

Status:  Single
Dating:  Yeah, kinda (2); approaching it from an 'it's entertainment' perspective until I'm presented with an overwhelming reason to look at it any other way.
Occupation:  Staffing/Talent Marketing - Focused on Business Development, HR/RPO & Talent Marketing - LOVE what I do!
Hobbies:  Treadmill Time, Tennis, Social, Blogging/Writing, Time w/Friends, & Shoe Acquisition, Music (Piano & Singing)
Improvement:  #TR30Days, Working Towards a Half-Marathon in Sept, Working on SPHR Certification
Causes:  LoveDrop, Shoes for Orphan Souls, Attitudes & Attire
Favorite Quote:  "Be the Change You Wish to See in the World." ~ Gandhi

I found this quote today & think this really does sum up where I'm at right now with Life:

”I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”

Biggest Change:  I'm still happy.  For the majority of the last year I was in a relationship, as most of you know.  And I was happy in it, to degrees... but the way we went about it?  It wasn't healthy for me; and I'd suppose not for him.  If you're having to sacrifice who you are, the very things that make you YOU in order to make your partner happy?  Then, unless the stuff that makes you 'You' is illegal or immoral?  Likely, it's not the right relationship.  As great of a guy as he is, (2) I couldn't BE the girl that lives that quote in our relationship.  Or, I wasn't that girl, anyway.  Our relationship wasn't equitable & that wasn't fair. As easy as it would be, I don't blame that on him; I blame that one? On me.   Ultimately, we broke up & yeah, it broke my heart because at the time, I wasn't ready to see what he already had.   I guess that's one thing I owe him thanks for, really. When I got there and did something about it?  It surprised me how quickly I was able to get back to the lady that I was and back on the path to the person I want to be.  Does that make sense?   I don't really know who I want to be with and it's honestly not a big focus for me right now.  I DO know WHO I want to be for myself, my daughters and the world-at-large, though & right now? I see that as more important... and I know that a guy can fit into that quite nicely at some point, however that might end up looking like. But I'm not waiting on that to be happy; I'm really having fun with life now... that, my girls, my career, my friends.. my 'profersonal' life? IS my happiness.  Everything else is kind of a bonus.

New Experiences:  iYoga ... kinda badly, but I do it! :)

My Biggest Challenge:  The last year has taught me a lot about relationships on every level.  You can want the best for someone; but a lot of times that means letting them go to achieve that on their own, even if it means failing.  FAILING IS OKAY.  You can do everything for someone else; but it doesn't make it wanted... and it's not the effort that counts there.  You short-change both parties in that process... even if you mean well.  If you compromise yourself - your beliefs, values, whatever, you've compromised every one of your relationships because the authenticity is damaged.  Even 'all-grownup?'  You can still outgrow friendships & that's okay.  Some of the friends I spend time with have changed but that's okay, too.  It's important, I think, to surround yourself with those that not only just like you or care about you; but will help you grow as a person and support your healthy interests - just as you do for them!

Life Outlook: I don't believe in 'karma' in that the world puts out bad things TO you if you do bad things to others and vice-versa.  Really tragic things happen to good people and amazingly good things seem to happen to some of the most soul-draining people out there.  But I do believe that? Doesn't matter and is a waste of focus.  So what do I believe?  Being positive matters.  For a really long, long time people joked that I was Pollyanna because I could find a silver lining in ANYTHING.  I think I lost sight of that over the last year or two when I was feeling a little defeated.  I'm really grateful to my true friends, my family, and those who stuck by me while I found my way back.  Because I have over the last three months & maybe even made a little progress past where I was.  And I'm really focused on keeping that forward momentum.

Lifestyle:  I've TOTALLY changed my lifestyle in the last year and even more in the last few months.  I'm eating healthy again - maybe even more-so than before, I'm really pretty active, and I make a regular point of moving beyond my comfort zone to stretch my perspective, experiences, and try to grow as a person.  Gotta say?  I'm having fun.  I don't have it all figured out and maybe the world isn't on a string for me quite yet; but boy am I enjoying the adventure.  A few years ago, I asked the question if I'd be able to ever really have the guts to 'get in the car' - yes, it did come after a bottle of wine & a Transformers marathon. Now I know:  No way will I be looking back in 50 years wondering if I had the guts to get in the car.  I'm not only IN the car; it's totally in Drive... and I'm pretty sure the best is yet to come. (4)

Looking forward to seeing what this next year has in store for me... Bring.It.On! :) 

(1) This One?  Totally falls under the #imadork hashtag. I was STUPIDLY excited about that and wore it out. Almost as stoked as I was about being 33 because it was a repetitive number.  So much for progress, LOL...
(2) Half-Heartedly; as it suits and is fun for me!
(3) And he really is, in a lot of ways.  We all  have our flaws, but it doesn't dismiss our strengths.  When you think about it, our weaknesses are just our strengths uncontrolled.  Just sayin'....
(4) Transformers Reference because I'm totally ok with my #imadork status :)

Getting Ready for Round Two! #TR30Days

ROUND TWO BEGINS 7/29... WANNA JOIN ME & THE #TR30DAYS TRIBE?? 

Watch the Video....

It's about that time to make out my next focus list for Round Two:  My #TR30Days Personal Revolution.  I had a GREAT time with the first 30 days and it really re-centered me; sharpened focus on what I want my life to count for.  I made new friends, bonded with some amazing people, felt like I made a difference in my life & maybe an impact in some others.  For a recap of last time?  Check out my Results Blog... I'm focusing on this next challenge on this post! :)  It starts on my birthday!!!

It's actually kind of funny that I'm talking about the future; because this 30 days is going to be fairly focused on staying in the PRESENT.  I was meditating on this while on the treadmill today & it's basically going to be my mantra as I head into this next 30 days:

"I am older than I was yesterday, 

Younger than I will be tomorrow &

 Ready to make a difference today.  

Make THIS day count."

Not sure that's like massively awesome words of wisdom or anything; and it's probably some culmination of stuff that I read who knows when... but it's making sense as something I need to focus on right now.  In April, I was all about "what wasn't."  May, I was really focused on "what had been."  June & July was really about "where I was headed/where I want to be" & now?  I need to focus on where I am NOW.  My mentor used to tell me my greatest 'challenge' profersonally (1) was mastering this:  "Wherever you are, be there."  Pretty sure he got it from Zig Ziglar or Jim Rohn but either way? He nailed it.  Then, it was trying to make sure that when I was at work, my home life with the kiddos was under control (2) & vice-versa.  I've pretty much nailed that down at this point & now it's focusing in on today & not letting the near-limitless possibilities of business & life have me chasing rainbows with no pot of gold at the end to show for it.  Make sense?

So, with a #focus on the NOW, here's my profersonal bucket list:

MIND:

• Cut the cord to the cell phone in the car- specifically, while I'm driving.  While I wasn't on the phone when I got into a minor car accident last week? It really woke me up to the fact that distracted driving probably should have been a factor and it's blind luck that it wasn't.  It was #wakeupcall & I'm taking it.  Whatever's going on?  WILL keep until I put it in park. 
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• Business Development - I will add 4 new clients from 7/29 to 8/29 :)  I've got a pretty solid business development plan built out and will be executing it.  Tying it to the "NOW" thing? I'm committing to having my daily work put INTO my CRM system at the end of EACH day - I'll admit I can have a tendency to want to neglect the "Administrivia" (3) but it's important, too.  Giving myself the "Three Pass Rule" (4) - I'll commit to giving up my #Wine Wednesday if I hit a 4th infraction where I focus on database development instead.  A 5th infraction will have me giving up a date night - so there will BE no 5th infraction, for sure!!! :)
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• Read One Book a Week & One Parenting & Fun Book Over the Challenge - Three a week is way too much for me to realistically keep up with this time, but 1 book a week?  Is a 2 hour time commitment - I can hang with that AND commit to a blog on it to boot!  Also want to read a "just for fun" and a specific parenting book relating to 'girl cliques' before the school year starts back up!
• Blogging - Can I do three a week?  I think I can. :) I'm also going to make a decision on splitting my blog into 2 by the end of this 30-day or keeping it whole, as is.  

BODY:

• THREE - Three days a week I WILL - do yoga, do strength training, and do swimming.
• TWO - Two days a week I WILL - play tennis & do spin - or spinnish thing Jen taught me (so gonna kill me).
• ONE - EVERY day I will do my 10k - even if it has to be broken into 2 5ks.
• I will drink 2 liters of water a day.

SPIRIT:

• Daily Gratitude WITH my Girls - I really enjoyed this last time & it had such a huge impact on my overall outlook in life.  I want to include the girls into this 30 Days so they can enjoy the benefits of a grateful heart/outlook as well; AND so I can gain further parental insights into a different aspect of their personality. )
• Bible Study w/ the Girls on Healthy Relationships & Sex:  Because if you wait to talk about it until you "HAVE TO?"  You've waited way too long.  We've chatted about it; but want to start doing a pulse check before we go back to school.  Want to do the study that Shannon Rowell recommended & really hit on what healthy "dating" in Middle School/High School looks like. 
• Charity Work -   REALLY am keen on @lovedrop and want to be more of a part of bringing awareness to that cause during this #TR30Days challenge.  Also will be participating at the Service/Volunteer weekend at Church as being more involved w/ The Branch has been on my 'to-do' list since May of LAST year.  *Oops!*  Was really appreciative of the volunteer weekend & chance to change the 'to-do' to an 'am-doing.' :)

Wish me luck... and if you're participating, too?  Let me and/or the #TR30Days Tribe know on FB/Twitter so we can cheer you on, too!!!

(1) though he didn't use that term; again, great concept - if you aren't familiar check out Jason Seiden's blog - the link is on my blog list to the left

(2) I was a young divorced parent at the time with primary parenting responsibility of two young girls
(3) In that I can push it off in pursuit of "more important" activities & then it piles up.
(4) I developed this a few years back with my team, embracing the "nobody's perfect" concept.  So, instead of A free pass? We get THREE.  Fourth slip requires the accountability of doing something - positive - in addition to catching up what you didn't do to 'make up' for it.

Someone Like You - Reminiscing On Our Quest for Camelot

This is one video that's absolutely worth listening to her talking about the song BEFORE you read further.  It's funny she mentioned this song reflected her being 'on her knees;' I was thinking this morning when I decided I wanted to write a blog using this song about the first time I heard this song.  It did genuinely bring me to my knees... emotionally speaking.  And then I went to YouTube & found this video where she's saying just that... I guess it's just so touching because it's easy to identify with 'profersonally' speaking - work, play, love.. it's all equally applicable.  Hurt. Fear. Restrained Reminiscing. Bittersweet Well-wishes ... we've all lived it. Correction... We All Live It.

When I first heard this song, all I heard was the loss. And that's what I looked back on - the things I'd built up & let go of; the unbelievable amount of effort I had put into a couple of roles in my career to just have felt completely unappreciated.  The guy where I knew I gave everything I had to have ultimately lost the relationship, anyway.  At first, the song was somewhat painful to truly 'hear.'  In all honesty, the girl that never cries in movies?  Cried listening to this song.

 Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead...  

Life is, quite simply, the sum of  how we connect. With people, places, things... Our 'connectedness' with others.. those relationships we form... they define us and they change us.  That change is a big part of our growth process.  I've written about that for years; so, this isn't exactly a newsflash.  But lately it seems that I've been doing a lot of 'looking back' with people in my life: former coworkers on old Employers we have moved on from, friends & acquaintances asking about my "now-not-really-new breakup" & how I'm faring, (1) and explaining the whys with mutual connections behind some friendly relationships I've let go of recently. (2)

Regrets & mistakes they're memories made... 

who would have known how bittersweet this tastes...

You know how the time flies; only yesterday was the time of our lives..  

I met with my mentor for lunch this week.  It was so good to see him & I'm always grateful for the discussions we're able to have.  We touched briefly on the Company we had worked together at & discussed the evolution it's had over time.  When I joined, the Company was truly like a 'Camelot' company to me.  (3)  And don't get me wrong, it's not a poor Company now; but it's definitely changed with time.  But things have to change; for there to be 'Camelots' or 'Glory Days' there have to be time-spans, relationships, companies that ...well... just aren't.  How do you appreciate greatness if you've never experienced anything but?  How do you evolve & grow individually if you don't take the working principles that achieved that greatness and apply it elsewhere? (4)

We were born and raised in a summer haze; 

bound by the surprise of our Glory Days....

The fear with striking out & leaving is, of course, that we will never find anyone that fits with us the way we thought 'they' fit with us when things were wonderful.  Or worse yet, that they WILL find someone; perhaps even a better version for them, to fill our now vacant shoes.  We look at the 'glory days,' at our former 'Camelots' and wonder - even pray - that we'll be connected in that way somewhere else, with someone or something else, some day.  Hopefully sooner rather than later.  Because let's face it: from the standpoint of desire, that's kind of what it's all about it, isn't it?  To feel wanted, value, connected, loving where you're at, who you're surrounded by, and what you're doing.

When we don't immediately find it, quite often we'll go back to what we had while the option is still there to take.  This is common enough that it even has it's own buzz-word for the occurrence:  "boomerang" - works with romantic relationships & employment status. I'm not going to say it's never the right thing to do; because there are times when it is. (5)  But, honestly? It's precious & rare - the growth that we experience that prompts us to leave often makes that repeat performance an abysmal experience. We 'boomerang' when what we should be saying is Nevermind, I'll find someone like you... but a version of you - of the positive attributes in our professional or personal relationship - that's better suited to the 'me' I am now.   Remember, while we fear change - because we're afraid to fail - it's that very change/failures that move us forward & help us grow.  So, reminisce if you want; but keep moving forward to the Camelots of your futures...not the ones in your past.

Nevermind, I'll Find Someone Like You 

Nothing Compares No Worries or Cares

Regrets & Mistakes They're Memories Made

I Wish Nothing But the Best For You....

(and the line she forgot)

And Will Accept Nothing But the Best For Me, Too...

~~~

(1) Before you have a chance to wonder? I'm fine.  It was a breakup; not the advent of the apocalypse. But, as a side note? It always strikes me as interesting when people ask if it hurts losing someone you love. Um, yes. It does - Of COURSE it does...whether you wanted it or not..  broke my heart; but that's life.  You have to deal with the negative outcome to find the positives & everyone can. We roll with it and move on to find new interests, new relationships, new loves.  That's how it works.

(2)The "Unfriending" Pts1 & 2 ended up being the catalyst for some relationship inventory work - while I haven't cut out a bunch of people, I have stepped back from some friendships that just don't fit with what I want my life to be/reflect & moved them more to 'friendly acquaintances.'  This fits in with the "5-Minute People" that this book I read a long time ago discussed... think it was called Rainmaking.

(3) So much so that I wrote about it twice.  Here's the first time:  "Camelot & Camelot Companies"

(4)Speaking more about work here, this isn't a reason to ditch your relationship to go "better" someone else, lol

(5) And when it IS one of those times? Grab it; life's really much too short to throw away happiness with both hands!

The Results Are In: I Did It! #TR30Days Learning Round-Up

Well... I did it.  I made it through 30 days.  That, in and of itself, isn't much of an accomplishment.. basically, what I'm saying there? Is that I didn't die.  And, since my birthday is next Friday? I'm rather okay with that... think it'll be rather convenient to be alive when I turn 33. :)

So, on to the bucket list.  It's pretty long, so I'm going to say if you want to read the comprehensive list?  Check out my progress updates:

My #TR30Days Bucket List

Week One Total Done #TR30Days

Week Two Down:  #TR30Days Update

Week Three Behind Me:  #TR30Days Update

Week Four Finished:  The Final 1st #TR30Days Update

I went all out & was fairly ambitious with my list.  Most of it, I'm happy to report I accomplished & yes, it makes me feel good.  Mostly, though, I feel like this last 30 days helped 'recenter' me.  When I started this project, I was still a little emotionally adrift & had gone through a bit of a 'life-shift' due to a somewhat painful breakup the month before that really had significant effect on my social circle, some medical junk, work changes & the associated 'fall-out'/changes that come with each.  What I'm saying is that I needed, and was ready for, the challenge.  And boy, was it. 

Working through my bucket list, I learned some things.  A renewed focus on gratitude helped me renew my appreciation for 'the little things' and to give mental 'thanks' for all I've been blessed with throughout the day.  I have to say, it worked - this daily exercise has helped me enjoy life more.  And maybe this is odd, but if I can't find myself grateful for something in my life? I've been ditching it.  In the process of trying to repair some relationships I'd let lapse over the last year; I worked through the process of "Unfriending" (1)  - something that was a little bit different for me and got me thinking about troubled relationships (2) - from a 'profersonal' perspective. (3) Over the 4th, I ruminated on the perspective shift this exercise brought & my appreciation for those that really 'get it' when it comes to our responsibility to life, liberty & the pursuit of happiness  &  FINALLY admitted that sometimes?  It's ok to admit you've got to give it up.  Those that know me well know just how hard that was for me to cop to -that's SO NOT my personality.

Not everything was a success... I tried my hand at vlogging to learn I've got a LOT of work to do in that area... and I'm likely never gonna be a newscaster. :p  I DID my squats, but after working out with my new trainer Jennifer yesterday?  I saw JUST how easy I took it on myself & now have NO delusions that I'm actually in any kind of good shape.  But, she'll fix that with me over the next couple months!  Had a lot of fun & was grateful working with various charity causes (4) but my goal of getting a blood drive organized in PV was pretty dashed.  Oh well.  Champagne Thursdays didn't quite work out- but started a Supper for Six dinner discussion social ... so, that's cool. :)

And that leads to what I think was the biggest #WIN for the first round of #TR30Days involvement:  relationships. Put my toes back into the dating waters & had good times with friends I've not been able to see enough of, expanding my social circle.  Good times.   I've met some AMAZING people & really formed some really cool relationships throughout this process.  They cheered me on & laughed with me.. we shared fun, frustration, and forged ahead together.  I've got some new role models and I'm unabashedly stating I'm excited at the thought of learning more from them as we continue this journey together.  Go TRIBE!  

TY @ty_sullivan, AMANDA @sexythinker, CHERIE @cherie28, BILL @culturedude, GINI @ginisays, JONI @luckypenny, Heather @HeatherEGraham, Belinda @BelindaK04, Jason @Seiden and others... THANK YOU.  You're an amazing group of people & I appreciate you all so much! :)  

So, that's it - long, I know; but like I said... it was a big list! :p  Looking forward to the next 30; but it's going to be a much more focused list - going to start on my birthday.. seems like a great time to start.  

(1) Part 2 Here

(2) Two more parts to this series:  "Here Without You" (snoozer) & "Bridge Over Troubled Waters" (better, I think)

(3) Want to learn more about 'profersonalism?'  I blogged about it, but Jason Seiden is really the brain-child behind this and his blog? Is greatness!  

(4) Not to mention the massive amounts of stuff I cleared out from my house.  Kinda sad when I look at how much more I have to go, though!

Week Four Finished: The Final 1st #TR30Days Update

For a faster "Catch-Up" Session?? Just read the updates in this color. :)  left the rest as a reference back. . .  If you're just catching this and want to know what it is?  Watch the video 

Gratitude: "Gratitude is not only the Greatest of all virtues; but the parent of all the others." ~ Cicero(Ok, this 'bucket' was absolutely snagged from @Sexythinker, the talented Ms. Amanda Hite - but it's fantastic & absolutely fits with where I want my focus to remain!)

• Make a point of reaching out and expressing gratitude to 1 person that has made a positive impact in my life each day. Wk3 UPDATE: I'm loving this - and since gratitude doesn't have to be on a large scale? Might never stop.  Continued focusing on my daughters - working on building their self-esteem through the expression of gratitude for the many blessings they've brought to my life & cool things they do! #PositiveParenting
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• Start integrating gratitude as a prosocial behavioral motivator in my work UPDATE: Definitely made some progress with this; but it's an ongoing process - going to take longer than 30-days to see the 'pay-off' in this and that's okay.  Not doing it for a 'kudos.'
• Share 1 thing a day from the Encyclopedia of Gratitude & write about how it's positively affected my life - why I'm grateful for it, too! UPDATE: This week my gratitude writings were on & why it made me grateful:
• Holding Your Child's Hand - Both my kids are hand-holders & snuggly. I am SO grateful for this (I am, too!!)
• Parks- When my gym is packed? I'm pretty grateful for the ones I can walk around in! :)  Plus, sometimes just chilling in the grass or the "Beach" at Grapevine Lake & staring up at the sky?  Peaceful good times.
• Monty Python - Found myself singing "Always Look On the Bright Side of Life" when dropping off a box of stuff this past weekend & remembered that those guys really crack me up.  The performance video for this? Cheeky Fun!! LOL
• Dad Behind the Wheel - I'm so grateful my Dad loves tinkering with my car - saves me major $$ in service fees & makes me feel safer 'cause I KNOW he cares about my safety!
• All You Can Eat - Horrifically bad for you, but great people-watching opportunities.
• Women's Suffrage-  I hold a fairly low-importance political position & a girl friend of mine holds the same in a more important, heavily populated district (that I live in).  We both take these roles seriously & she does a GREAT job (thanks, Kate) - wouldn't be possible without the work done during the suffrage movement. :) 
• Funny Movies- I enjoy being able to go to the movies now and again - and get to enjoy the show!  Saw a couple movies this last week & had a great time. :) 
• Pay it Backward - Reach out to one person that has 'paid it forward' with me and see how I can help them in return... then do it! UPDATE: We Did It!!!  This is awesome & will make my bucket list next month, too.

Social:

• Make a point of working on repairing a couple of key relationships that I let lapse over the last year UPDATE: Done.  
• Do something with 1-2 friends that I normally don't get time to go do things with - expand my social 'outings' outside of my norm so I can really get to better know and appreciate my friends/connections - going to try to schedule something once a week. UPDATE: Done - met up with a friend from ELEMENTARY SCHOOL this past week. Coolness! 
• Be open to dating - still not real hip on the thought of another serious relationship; but I guess they don't start there, do they?? :) So, I'm resolved to say 'Absolutely' to at least one invitation over the next 30 days. Still has to be with someone I'd WANT to go out with - I'm not going to just say 'sure' to anybody. Criteria should still apply, right??? :) UPDATE:  Accomplished.  Definitely.  
• Restart Champagne Thursdays with the local ladies! :D UPDATE: This didn't happen. #fail

Giving Back- Volunteering/Altruism Project:

• Complete the Natural Disaster Donation Project (1) by end of June.UPDATE: I've given away 1/3rd of my closet & 1/4th  of my house.  Wow.  I have  a lot of stuff.
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• Start the "Altruism Adventure" with the girls - teaching the importance of altruism, demonstrate the principle in my own life & have the 3 of us perform 1 altruistic act a week. UPDATE: I'm proud of the progress we've made with this - but we're not DONE - this was just the beginning.
• Continue volunteer efforts - for this 30-days, want to include work with Attitudes & Attire. Have Three Bags of clothes to donate.  I think we can do better.  Will do again this next month.  
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• Find a workable date for the Blood Drive for Providence & continue to work towards facilitating/organizing that event. UPDATE: This one didn't fly.

Health & Fitness - Mental & Physical:

• Drink my 3 liters of water a day (and stop complaining that I don't like how it tastes! LOL) UPDATE: Never going to commit to 3L of water again.  Did it.. and the news last week?  Said it was TOO MUCH WATER!  My nephrologist and I are SO having a talk.
• Integrate One 15k each week IN ADDITION to the daily 10ks... cut time by 30-seconds/mile UPDATE: Yeah, I'm not getting the additional 15k in, but I HAVE cut over 40 seconds off my mile with the 10ks, so that's cool!   I also started yoga.  Insanity made me stupidly sick.  Holding off on this for 30-60days.  I've started with a trainer instead.
• Restart Physical Therapy for my jaw - increase opening from 24mm to 28mm by end of 30days UPDATE: This has really helped my jaw.  Still going to need anther surgery at some point, but I think if I keep this up? I can stave that off for a year or two!
• 1 hour of dance EVERY day UPDATE: DID THIS!! :) SO.MUCH.FUN!!!  I LOVE THIS SO SO MUCH!  This is greatness.  Stopped wearing socks and that helped. :p 
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• Do squats for 30 minutes every day while watching "How I Met Your Mother" UPDATE: I hate squats. And doing them with Jennifer yesterday?  Mine weren't hard enough!
• Start friends Bible study with A (and maybe Julie?) UPDATE: Every day, every day, every day - love it.  Working a 1 yr study so we're keep on, keepin' on!  
• 5:30 am workouts 3 days a week with Heather UPDATE: Yeah, not so much. #fail 
• Read 3 books a week - but make sure one is just for fun and one is for general learning & one is for business (rather than ALL on business). UPDATE: I had NO time to read with work this past week - so,   Too Big to Fail, Jessica's Tweet This! book & Run Like a Mother ? You're on my list and will be done before 7/29 

Business:

• Register for remaining conferences for 2011. UPDATE: Done! :)  Can't make blogher this year - it's on the girls' Dad's bday - need to be in town.  
• Solidify Q3 Social Media Plan & Strategies for TxMQ & Clients. Write proposal for same. UPDATE: Done.
• Revisit 2011 business plan strategies for Q3 & Q4. UPDATE: Done.
• Gain commitment to bi-weekly trainings for team & write schedule.UPDATE: Yeah, didn't finish this.
• Finish new BD opp presentation for potential RPO client. UPDATE: Done! :)
• Restart video blogging for work. Commit to 1/week UPDATE: Decided I'm not ready for work vlogs; so switched this to personal & prosocial vlogging so I can be ready for the next 30 day challenge. :)  - Got the next prosocial vlog in. I'm never gonna be on TV. :p  Done! 
• Identify a potential Jr. BD person for DFW. UPDATE: Done & Done. :)