Facebook got me fired... Again?! Debunking 3 #SoMe #HR Myths

Social Media & Employment... How's it still 'All the Rage?' Because we're not addressing it, people.
In the last few weeks, I’ve read a number of news articles and blogs talking about “how [someone] was fired for Facebook.”  I’m not going to lie, it’s somewhat surprising that this is actually news to anyone.  Social Media?  Is not new… but, I guess the continual growth of end-users makes it new for someone and many companies, are still grappling with how to deal with it.  Care to take a guess at how many companies globally do not have a social media policy in place for their workforce?  No?  It’s actually a shocking 85%.  That’s shocking when you link that stat to these:

• 22% of Fortune 500 companies have an active, public-facing blog
• Over 30% of businesses globally utilize social media in their marketing
• Approximately 45% of companies actually use social media to help screen hires
• Approximately 57.5% of the population with internet access (approx. 1 out of every 13 people on the planet) have a social media profile
• 93% of B2B Marketers are engaged in some form of social media marketing
• As of April 2011, there are more social networking site accounts than there are people on the planet (over 10 Billion).

....Read the rest at http://theonecrystal.com/2011/09/01/facebook-got-me-fired-debunking-3-some-employment-myths/ 

Someone Like You - Reminiscing On Our Quest for Camelot

This is one video that's absolutely worth listening to her talking about the song BEFORE you read further.  It's funny she mentioned this song reflected her being 'on her knees;' I was thinking this morning when I decided I wanted to write a blog using this song about the first time I heard this song.  It did genuinely bring me to my knees... emotionally speaking.  And then I went to YouTube & found this video where she's saying just that... I guess it's just so touching because it's easy to identify with 'profersonally' speaking - work, play, love.. it's all equally applicable.  Hurt. Fear. Restrained Reminiscing. Bittersweet Well-wishes ... we've all lived it. Correction... We All Live It.

When I first heard this song, all I heard was the loss. And that's what I looked back on - the things I'd built up & let go of; the unbelievable amount of effort I had put into a couple of roles in my career to just have felt completely unappreciated.  The guy where I knew I gave everything I had to have ultimately lost the relationship, anyway.  At first, the song was somewhat painful to truly 'hear.'  In all honesty, the girl that never cries in movies?  Cried listening to this song.

 Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead...  

Life is, quite simply, the sum of  how we connect. With people, places, things... Our 'connectedness' with others.. those relationships we form... they define us and they change us.  That change is a big part of our growth process.  I've written about that for years; so, this isn't exactly a newsflash.  But lately it seems that I've been doing a lot of 'looking back' with people in my life: former coworkers on old Employers we have moved on from, friends & acquaintances asking about my "now-not-really-new breakup" & how I'm faring, (1) and explaining the whys with mutual connections behind some friendly relationships I've let go of recently. (2)

Regrets & mistakes they're memories made... 

who would have known how bittersweet this tastes...

You know how the time flies; only yesterday was the time of our lives..  

I met with my mentor for lunch this week.  It was so good to see him & I'm always grateful for the discussions we're able to have.  We touched briefly on the Company we had worked together at & discussed the evolution it's had over time.  When I joined, the Company was truly like a 'Camelot' company to me.  (3)  And don't get me wrong, it's not a poor Company now; but it's definitely changed with time.  But things have to change; for there to be 'Camelots' or 'Glory Days' there have to be time-spans, relationships, companies that ...well... just aren't.  How do you appreciate greatness if you've never experienced anything but?  How do you evolve & grow individually if you don't take the working principles that achieved that greatness and apply it elsewhere? (4)

We were born and raised in a summer haze; 

bound by the surprise of our Glory Days....

The fear with striking out & leaving is, of course, that we will never find anyone that fits with us the way we thought 'they' fit with us when things were wonderful.  Or worse yet, that they WILL find someone; perhaps even a better version for them, to fill our now vacant shoes.  We look at the 'glory days,' at our former 'Camelots' and wonder - even pray - that we'll be connected in that way somewhere else, with someone or something else, some day.  Hopefully sooner rather than later.  Because let's face it: from the standpoint of desire, that's kind of what it's all about it, isn't it?  To feel wanted, value, connected, loving where you're at, who you're surrounded by, and what you're doing.

When we don't immediately find it, quite often we'll go back to what we had while the option is still there to take.  This is common enough that it even has it's own buzz-word for the occurrence:  "boomerang" - works with romantic relationships & employment status. I'm not going to say it's never the right thing to do; because there are times when it is. (5)  But, honestly? It's precious & rare - the growth that we experience that prompts us to leave often makes that repeat performance an abysmal experience. We 'boomerang' when what we should be saying is Nevermind, I'll find someone like you... but a version of you - of the positive attributes in our professional or personal relationship - that's better suited to the 'me' I am now.   Remember, while we fear change - because we're afraid to fail - it's that very change/failures that move us forward & help us grow.  So, reminisce if you want; but keep moving forward to the Camelots of your futures...not the ones in your past.

Nevermind, I'll Find Someone Like You 

Nothing Compares No Worries or Cares

Regrets & Mistakes They're Memories Made

I Wish Nothing But the Best For You....

(and the line she forgot)

And Will Accept Nothing But the Best For Me, Too...

~~~

(1) Before you have a chance to wonder? I'm fine.  It was a breakup; not the advent of the apocalypse. But, as a side note? It always strikes me as interesting when people ask if it hurts losing someone you love. Um, yes. It does - Of COURSE it does...whether you wanted it or not..  broke my heart; but that's life.  You have to deal with the negative outcome to find the positives & everyone can. We roll with it and move on to find new interests, new relationships, new loves.  That's how it works.

(2)The "Unfriending" Pts1 & 2 ended up being the catalyst for some relationship inventory work - while I haven't cut out a bunch of people, I have stepped back from some friendships that just don't fit with what I want my life to be/reflect & moved them more to 'friendly acquaintances.'  This fits in with the "5-Minute People" that this book I read a long time ago discussed... think it was called Rainmaking.

(3) So much so that I wrote about it twice.  Here's the first time:  "Camelot & Camelot Companies"

(4)Speaking more about work here, this isn't a reason to ditch your relationship to go "better" someone else, lol

(5) And when it IS one of those times? Grab it; life's really much too short to throw away happiness with both hands!

The Beautiful People

At the pool yesterday, I was laughing with my neighbor about "the beautiful people" and their preferences when it comes to dating.  I'm seriously impressed by the self-confidence; as well as a little mystified by some of the expectations, that come along with beauty.  Did you know there's a dating site just for Beautiful People?  A few years ago in Dallas, the 'Beautiful People' had "The Beautiful Room" - where if you were a guy willing to shell out some $$$?  You could hang out with women that had been voted in as beautiful (and also pd $$) based off of skimpy photos... and meet-up around Dallas to drink/have drunken photo shoots.  The thought process with both aforementioned organizations is that 'beautiful people' wanted to be around 'beautiful people.'  I only knew a couple members - the girl wasn't beautiful, in my opinion.. but she was a drug-addict.  Seemed an expensive price-tag to pay to be surrounded by a very superficial, fleeting version of beauty.  In my own dating life I've noticed a major uptick in the number of strangers (2) who see fit to address me as "gorgeous," "beautiful," and/or "sexy." (3)  In dating, I think this trend to the Beautiful is a) nothing new and b) basically Social Darwinism.  I guess the truth is that people want to be around beauty... whatever we each consider that to be.

Moving on, recently I was talking in a Recruiting Chat about how so many people these days are misguidedly sending in photo resumes... do they do this in an effort to connect?  Do they think they're among the "Beautiful People" & think Hiring Managers will think so, too?? While studies show that if you are indeed attractive, you're more likely to be hired... Hiring Managers I talk to?  HATE. THIS.  Personally?  I just might be pretending like your resume never hit my desk to avoid a the potential of a discrimination suit, thanks.  In a #TChat on diversity, I had a side-conversation via direct message regarding how being Beautiful seems to get one a leg up when applying for Sales roles... It's definitely a different slant on diversity hiring.. eek!  Shoot, in some of the employment agreements I've seen? (1)  Appearance standards for hair, paws, claws, and makeup were written into the agreement.

It's the Beautiful People They Want... 

The Beautiful People They Love...

In truth, I think we all know it's a stereotyping of sorts.  Social Psychologists have noted this effect as "what is beautiful is good" - it runs along the same lines as the "halo effect." Basically, it's this:  We believe that those are good looking are good in other areas - career, virtue, cooking, whatever... we impress upon them characteristics we desire in ourselves and want them to have.  We form an impression that they're good, happy, BETTER based off the level of their attractiveness.  On the positive side, this can be something of a self-fulfilling prophesy; if we think someone is good, smart, and has a great personality - ya know, the INNER beauty... we treat them differently.  We naturally expect they'll live up to our expectations and so, well... they do.  #Winning!  ... Right????

This social bias towards the beautiful will help you get ahead in your career, too... if you're considered to be among them!  I read an article recently where I learned that for every added inch of height, employees can earn an additional $789/yr. See Friends?  I told you those 5" heels would help me get ahead in my career... ha!  Incidentally, I also learned that it wasn't male interviewers that tend to foster 'beautiful biases' in hiring.. it's actually women.  As a gender, we're guilty of being more apt to give favorable packages to those that could be considered 'eye candy.'  ;)  (4)  Conversely, hiring managers of the male gender tended to give out more 'low-status' job packages overall & only had an emotional response when giving an attractive woman a lower-status package.  Wonder why that is??  Whatever the reason, does this mean I should hope a woman interviews me if I ever need to interview again??

All of the beautiful people...Shining like diamonds
They got no problems...

Yes, being beautiful can have some fantastic perks in the workplace - make more money, advance faster  in their careers, and people go out of their way to help those they find attractive.  (5)  So, where does that leave those that are decidedly less than "glamazonic?"  Not out in the cold, fortunately.  The truth is that the same study found that "business legends" were of 'average height' and deemed 'average looking' & almost anyone can "improve their attractiveness" through the asserting confidence, maintaining eye contact, listen well, and my personal favorite?  Dress well.  Yes, I DO see this as yet another excuse to go shopping for cute new shoes from White House Black Market... that will add another $3k or so to my annual earnings. ;) (6)

Those? Are some Beautiful Shoes!!

(1) NOT the ones I've consulted on/helped draft, btw
(2) Read:  strange men I don't know
(3) Lest you people think I'm totally stuck-up? -I- do not consider myself to be among the ranks of "The Beautiful People" from an appearance standpoint.  Don't get me wrong, I know I'm cute; but I'm not a glamazon. :p
(4)  Read about the Study  This study is the first application of EDR to examine the influential role of beauty, status and sex during job negotiations. “From a business point-of-view, there is a need for leaders/managers to be aware of their assumptions in decision-making processes, be they strategic or operational, and that they may be prone to emotion and bias,” say the authors.  From http://www.blackwellpublishing.com
(5) up to 18% more than those people deemed "Plain" - Thank you CNN
(6) What? I love White House Black Market!  For 6 more ways to capitalize on "the Beauty Premium?"  Read This