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Thursday, September 9, 2010

What's in a Relationship Status?

It's absolutely amazing to me how important something as trivial as a Facebook 'relationship status' has become. Now I? Have never really been one to change that little bugger every time I'm seeing someone. I figure eventually I'll likely have to change it back (1) and what a pain THAT is. Nothing like 592 of your friends and acquaintainces being able to weigh in on the demise of your relationship. ESPECIALLY if it doesn't last long after the switch. :p

So, for me, I've been happily 'single' or 'divorced' (2) since my FB was made a few years ago. Same thing with my Myspace... And I'm okay with that. What I'm not okay with, though? Is the rash of really intrusive 'requests' to go out with this guy or that lately. It's like FB has become the new "Plenty of Fish" (3) or something; with your connections or randoms messaging you willy-nilly, asking you out. This would be flattering, except I've kind of made it obvious that I'm seeing someone; it's not like it's hidden, anyway. You can see a pretty distinct pattern if you look for it - and if you're going to be asking someone out? You should. Right??

Even still, I can easily dismiss the one-hit wonders who are respectful of my current level of disinterest once I point out that I'm dating someone. But, then there are the guys that just don't know when to quit. I REALLY want to believe that this is a guy thing; I have a hard time thinking a girl would be so persistent after being shot down. Am I wrong? A couple of times a week, I'll deal with one of these guys that just doesn't seem to know how to respect 'NO.' (4) Today's? Was enough to make me consider changing my FB status.. just to not have to deal with it anymore. Excerpt time:

Between XXXXX and You
****** ********** September 09 at 8:51am Your beautiful. I would love to get to know you better. Drinks?
Crystal Miller September 09 at 09:13am I am flattered by the interest; but I'm seeing someone. Take care.
****** ********** September 09 at 9:24am O. I am ok with that if you are.
Crystal Miller September 09 at 9:28am So, by 'seeing someone' I mean I actually have a boyfriend. Like, only seeing him? Thanks again, though. Take care.
****** ********** September 09 at 9:36am If there's no ring on your finger than you still have time to explore your options. I'm a great guy if you'd just give it a chance.
Crystal Miller September 09 at 9:40am So's my boyfriend. Seriously, 'no?' Means no. I won't respond again. Take care.

Eliminating THAT? might make the status change worth the subsequent comments. My fear? Is that it wouldn't be enough to do it.

(1) Yes, I realize that's a cynical view on relationships but let's face it.. most of the relationships we enter into as single people will end. If it was easy to find 'the one' there wouldn't be so many movies, songs, stories about trying to find them.

(2) Facebook didn't offer a "divorced" option when I first signed on. I kinda felt like a leper. Thanks, FB, for recitfying that.

(3) For my married friends or those who aren't internet-dating savvy? Plenty of Fish is a free dating site. It's suuper scary what's out there, folks.

(4) By the way, if you are one of those guys? Chicks tend to believe that it's NOT cute when you don't accept 'no' for 'no.' In fact, it's generally accepted among my girlfriends that if you can't take 'no' for face value through email? There's a really good chance you won't take 'no' in person and we'll end up needing to use Pepper Spray before the end of the date. It's not cute; it's creepy. 'Nuff said.


  1. I LOVE to hear your voice when you write.
    I say post yourself as "in a relationship" with your best girlfriend, or your work, or a local bar... That'll teach em.

  2. I have no status and that I'm looking for friendship. When I want a date I'll let someone know. :) For now I like deciding what my plans are...and having dates with a library book and my dog. Men wear me out.

  3. Thanks, Tray! Yeah, 'in a relationship' with my job? would actually be accurate. :p

    Amanda... I've so been there! I took over a year off from dating and honestly? It was a lot of fun; I needed the 'me' time.