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Tuesday, May 4, 2010

One Fine Day... We'll Figure it Out

Dating is fun. Dating is fun. Dating is fun. For some people, this is a mantra they have to repeat ad nauseum in the hopes that they might one day believe it. For them? Dating is decidedly NOT fun. Others enjoy it so much that they never stop dating... even after they get married! As usual, I'm kinda somewhere in the middle. I almost always enjoy myself when I'm out on a date with someone (excluding some of the just obvious awkward moments we all have to deal with); but arranging it and fitting it into my schedule can be something of a whip. (1)

I was talking with a guy recently that was by absolutely all accounts A-dorable. He was funny, handsome, outgoing, active and outdoorsey... loved God, kids, and big dogs. Seriously, all that was missing was the conversation about a penchant for the East Coast in the Fall and I would have likely supposed he came out of some kind of fairy-tale. Until, that is, he started talking about? Dating. For those of you that haven't dated in awhile; evidently, dating is a huge topic of conversation amongst single people. For the first few dates, it's not uncommon to talk and joke about former off-key dating experiences; in fact, it can be something of a bonding experience when you realize that you're not alone in feeling smothered when someone comes and "accidentally" leaves stuff at your house and then tells you to clear out a drawer for them. After you've only dated for a month. (Can you say CLINGY??) The various little antecdotes we share regarding our dating mishaps can humanize us ... and that can be a good thing, I think.

But on the other end of the spectrum, there's the guy (or gal) who can't stop belittling dating. Enter Frank. Met Frank on Match.com - which is of course, a dating site. This would imply to most that Frank wanted to date someone. Just sayin' - 'cause it's kind of what you do on dating sites; want to make friends? Go to meetup.com - there's a group for you. One would further think that Frank was interested in dating based off his proactively contacting me - and of course, I responded back because hello??? Did you READ the first paragraph? He sounded too good to be true.... And? He was. Turns out, Frank exhausts all the topics that make him cute in about 45 minutes. The next month? Was spent talking exclusively about how much he hated his job, his friends, and ... dating. And then how much he hated dating some more. And then some more. And then... get the picture?? Total.WHIP. So, of course, I dropped him like a hot potato. (1)

Tip for those who were previously unaware: negativity? Not so much attractive to most. An injection of saracasm is fine now and again; but to be submersed in it all the time is just .... bleh. If you're having trouble seeing something positive in dating, then perhaps it's time to stop. Take a breather; get to know yourself again and figure out where it went off the tracks for you. Otherwise, your dates are likely to categorize you as I did Frank - the whip that continually dampening my 'One Fine Day' and will find someone else with whom to spend their time. :)

(1) But, I console myself with the realization that, to some degree, that's probably going to be true of pretty much everyone else, too. At least the people I tend to see. ;)
(2) Come on, like you wouldn't?? Don't care how great the packaging looks; if the inside is reminiscent of decay? Moooove along. Furthermore, I have to ask myself what's the motivation behind these continually repeated conversations - where/what's the gain?

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