Myspace Migration: Pushing Paper in Politics, Reverse Racism, & Of Course, The Economy

Pretty much everything that's a) not paying my bills, b) holding my heart (talking about my girls - my youngest turns 10 on Thursday!!), or c) attracting my interest (and yes, that would be a half-hearted stab at boys/boy toys, lol)....

There's a push in local governments (actually, it's a nationwide thing, but it's done on the county level) to encourage voters not to use the computerized ballots; instead, pushing paper ballots to ensure accuracy. While this totally reminds me of the Robin Williams movie, Man of the Year; it also doesn't really make a whole lot of sense to me given the 2004 debaucle. I don't think the issue there was electronic voting, was it? And it still managed to get screwed up - so, I don't think I agree that the electronic voting machines are 'compromising the sacrosanctity of the American Voting System' (As was suggested sometime this weekend by someone on CNN- or one of those news channels).

Use whatever method you want - just get out there and make your voice heard. Going with my 'drama queen/energy vampire' blog from earlier; if you don't engage, you lose the right to complain when you don't like what happens next.

Speaking of voting, I can't shake the vomiticious feeling I get each time I think about the people that are voting for Obama simply because he's an African-American. Voting for the 'electrifying shockwave' that will come from the history-making placement of a black person to that office. Let me say, while I agree it's a positive testament to where our Country has advanced to that we could do that - it's still feeling like a form of reverse racism to me when that card is played. Voting for Obama because he's black, or McCain because he's got the 1st female VP... it's no different than not voting for them for the same reason. If someone told you they wouldn't vote for Obama because of his race, or McCain due to Palin's gender - you'd be incensed, and rightly so. Because things over which we have absolutely no control should not be a factor in something as sacrosanct (proper usage of that word there) being the leader of one of the most powerful Nations in the world. Any political office, really - I think we've, as a society, trivialized the importance of what they're doing. It's a governing position - government? Leadership? The people we vote into office need to know.what.they're.doing - because we? Often don't. Your race and your gender will not, should not, qualify you alone. So why does it come up?

Tomorrow is the anniversary of Black Monday - the market crash of 1987. It will be interesting to see what it does and how the market reacts to some of the news we've had since closing Friday. We are clearly in a recession in some parts of the Country, if not the Country in whole. There's no denying that - and it kind of makes me think of the candidates in play for President. I REALLY am concerned about McCain's strategy for balancing the budget - even if he does manage to figure out how to balance what could be as much as a Trillion.Dollar.Deficit, he won't be able to do it without massively compromising the Treasury, will he? How do you lower taxes, or make strategic tax cuts, without reducing the amount of money coming into the treasury? If we're going to balance the budget - won't the Treasury need more, not less? So, maybe you ... do what? What can you do that won't ultimately devalue the dollar??

Thoughts? Care to share your own concerns about politics or the economy? As always, you're welcome to post a comment here or send me a message. :) Now I'm going to log off and contemplate narcisism. Night!

Myspace Migration: Dirty Little Secrets

Who has to know?? :) I really don't know why that song is so totally stuck in my head, but it's workin' for me... how about you??

My dirty little secret? Is a word... specifically, THE word: Fabulosity. And, I must say, I'm terribly disappointed and disillusioned to find out that Kimora Lee Simmons totally STOLE MY WORD! LOL - ok, I'm just kidding; well, about that being my dirty little secret anyway. But I'm serious about how that was my word and I was totally crushed when Bev told me that she has been using it. And, as it turns out, my eldest knew that, too. She is a fan of the 'Kimora Lee Simmons show: Life in the Fab Lane' - fortunately, I can say that I didn't get her hooked on it. Because everyone knows me that I? Am decidedly NOT a fashionista. But, sure as can be, she has me watch it with her today and KLS (who is totally a living, taaaalll barbie doll) not only uses my word, but makes it a perfume. So, now I'm on the hunt for a new word. :p

So, here's my REAL dirty little secret: I have been violated by POF. Seriously, unabashedly, really violated. This guy that has been emailing me since the day I joined called me to talk. No big deal, right? It wasn't at that point, but... then... he, um, self-serviced while talking with me. Now, he didn't come out and SAY what he was doing and no, I was not channeling the chick from Debbie does Dallas over the phone. I noticed while we were having a perfectly normal conversation that he was breathing rather heavily - ok, he's working out, I thought... no big deal, right? Then, he asks me if I was a cheerleader in High School (did I mention I'm 30 and high school was like 14 years go???)... Correction, he TOLD me I was a cheerleader in high school and kind of whimpered? At that point, I figured it out and was totally.utterly.disgusted. I jumped off the phone as quickly as possible and had to take a shower - 'cause his dirty little secret's filth was rubbing off on me. Ew!

I decided to make a quick list of other dirty little secrets that need to be scrubbed clean:

1) It is generally not cool to save a Low Fat bottle of salad dressing and refill it with dressing bought at the Cheescake Factory - simply being in a 'low-fat' package does NOT make it good for you. (nor for me, when I unwittingly eat it! You know who you are, lol - I love you, but was totally cheesed when I discovered that and it totally jacked up my eating plan for the day, lol)

2) So, the babybel, individually wrapped cheese rounds? That red stuff they're in? That's wax. Don't eat it. :) (That Secret? Is mine - I am a total goob, but I didn't know.. really until they started with the commercials recently, and now I totally understand why that cheese made me sick all that time ago!!! LOL - In all fairness, I -WAS- Eight & at my Uncle's Funeral; but still... it made me sick enough I didn't touch it again until recently.)

3) "Friends with Benefits" - if you're into that kind of thing - means you're actually friends outside of the sheet wrestling. If the only thing you do together happens in the bedroom... you? Are that person's dirty little secret - and that? Is called 'booty calling,' I think.

4) Speaking of booties, Kim Kardashian just used hers to 'booty strike' a guy in her self-defense class. And that? Is my dirty little secret... My daughter now has me hooked on Keeping up with the Kardashians and Life in the Fab Lane (if for no other reason than they're both train wrecks, but seriously? I might need to talk to her Dad about her weekend TV choices??). Maybe we can just generalize my 'Dirty Little Secret' to E!Style Channel, all the way around - because I'm fairly certain that while the channel may make me really pretty , it's not so much about making me a better person. LOL

Yeah, I know.. my 'dirty little secrets' aren't that dirty after all... but, what can I say? The dirtiest thing in my house is probably the laundry; speaking of which, I need to go do it. If you want to read more juicy secrets, check out this page - it's an ongoing community project called PostSecret. Have a great Saturday!!

Next blog, I'm going to touch politics - and maybe dating and politics?? Let's see if I can make the two work together well.. LOL Stay tuned!

Myspace Migration: It's Just a State of Mind

Ooooooh, this is too much fun! I had totally started writing a different thread, but then I got this:

Hello,
I'm [Name] and it's my sincere honor to meet you. I realize you are way out of my league but my observation about you and your profile is that you are absolutely amazing. Everything I read and the pictures I saw lead me to believe that you need to change nothing. I know you think you do and are working hard to do so but in my opinuion you are exactly perfect the way you and and if other's don't think so to hell with them. You are amazing and I don't know why you are even on this site. You must have men lined up to meet you. We actually have a LOT in common but I hope the man you do choose realizes what a special gift God has blessed him with in you. I hope you and your daughters have a GREAT Labor Day weekend.

Guess who it is? Come on... take a wild stab at it. It's the 'shoplifting the pooty' guy from yesterday!! Ahhahahahaahahaha!!! Am I evil for wanting to have fun with this one?? What happened to the aversion to kids? Hmmm.....

On a more serious note, I got an email from a guy asking how he could get a gal to 'reel him in' on the dating site. I'm going to be addressing this later from a 'what not to wear' type standpoint with some of the emails, conversations, and profiles that I've received from POF. A couple are QUITE humorous, so stay tuned!

And let me know... should I play with this guy or take the high road and ignore it????

Myspace Migration: PSA or PSJ (Pathetic Self-Justification)??? You Decide....

So, a friend of mine actually called me to go look at this guy's profile. "Tell me what you honesly think" she says. I look, expecting to see some kind of troll. I was kind of suprised when a really attractive man pops up on the page. Read his profile and he kind of sounds like a normal guy, kind of a 'man's man' (ladies, most of you will know that that means). Actually, he sounds like someone she should just all over, and then I get to... this:

~ADDITIONAL NOTE~ To the ladies with young(er) kids. If a guy dates you and you have young kids and he is now no longer dating you he wanted one thing and only one thing and after he got it he is no longer dating you. Watch Jerry McGuire because he too was shoplifting the pu$$y. Now when a guy says he won't date you because you have young kids (like me) it's because he am serious about finding someone to marry but not raise your kids. Huge difference between those two types of guys. Just food for thought.

Um, ok... was this his PSA for Single Moms? To me, who has never really had a problem with finding a cornucopia of men to date who really could care less about the fact that I have children (and given the fact that I've been divorced for 5 years, at one time it was 'young(er) children')... I kind of think this is mostly bunk. To me, it seems like more of a pathetic attempt to justify the fact HE personally doesn't want to date women with children younger than his own (17), so he delivers it in a manner he thinks would be more safe by generalizing it.

Why do I think it's bunk? Because I know a LOT of single moms, and to date I've not met but one of them over the years that were looking for a replacement Daddy. And yeah, she was a piece of work, but really? How different is that from the guy that's just looking for Barbie to wear on his arm at social functions or a Samantha to screw around with? Most of the women I know and have known with Single Kids have a "I'm Good.. I've Got It.. I Don't Need Your Help, Just Your Companionship" kind of an attitude. Our children have parents already, we don't need help raising them. We don't WANT help raising them - heck, I've had pretty in-depth conversations with them men I've had relationships with about how it's probably going to be a little challenging to be in our lives and not have a say about how they're raised (barring things like a say-so in the rules of the house in the event we do get married). Why? Because they're not the Parent. I am. My ex-husband is. And there need be only two.

But, that's my thought - and my experience is limited to the parent side of things... what are yours? Does this guy have cause to be concerned? Is it really a PSA or a PSJ he was sending out to Single Moms Reading His Profile Everywhere? And does it really take more than 2 parents??

Myspace Migration: So, here it is... Week 2 of POF and other stuff about Men

Emails: 402

New guys conversing with: a couple of interesting ones and a couple of crazies and one or two that are just plain sad

This has been a really hectic week with POF. There was a guy that I was talking to, but now I'm not. He really kind of creeped me out - too mushy, too fast. Started out really nice and normal, but ... yeah. Not so much.

Next we're going to move onto the guy who tried to guilt-trip me into communication by giving me a hard time because I didn't respond to his very tempting original email of "You're pretty; I didn't read your profile." Now, really, what girl wouldn't want to respond to that??? So, after a few days, he sends another pulitzer prize winner of 'Never Mind.' What the hell?! So, I ask him what exactly he was trying to aim at there. I'm going to share his response, and mine back...

His Response: "thought you was nice looking,i firgured a thank you would be your responce.thats where real beauty is inside a person.even if you wasnt interested you could have said something.dont feel bad 90 percent of the women in here dont respond.such shallow women.i know i am fat and even ugly.i am still human."

My response back: Ok, there are some serious self-esteem issues. The reason I didn't respond was:

a) your whole message was incredibly shallow (speaking of such). You even SAID you didn't read my profile - so, what exactly would make me want to contact you?

b) when I actually took the time to go look at your profile (again, a courtesy you didn't even bother to afford me) there was NOTHING about you. At all. Not exactly a big motivator to send a message. Your appearance had absolutely nothing to do with it.

c) Not that I think I'm all that, because I'm certainly not, but even still - I've received over 400 messages in the last two weeks. While I wish I could respond to everyone, I can't. I don't have time - I can't even respond to everyone who has a genuine interest in ME, rather than just my 'good looking' exterior, as you put it... the only reason I even responded was to kind of make a point that it was a really dumb email to send... it reeks of insecurity, which even if you do get the desired response of an email back, it's not going to be one that you really want .. it's going to be a 'what the heck?' kind of a thing.

I don't feel bad about not responding - that's like saying you're obligated to talk to a telemarketer simply because you had a phone... I didn't ask you to write me. You took a chance, and that's admirable, I guess... but it doesn't obligate me to a response. The people who are interested in pursuing you further? In returning your initial interest? Will respond back. Those who aren't and therefore don't? Are not necessarily shallow - they're just not interested. Hopefully there is something in this you can glean from and make adjustments to your tactics accordingly, so that you can have more success with someone else in the future. Good day.

So.... am I wrong? Are you obligated to a response simply because someone writes to you? And yes, I do know I kinda went overboard with the response, but I had a headache, which made me a little grumpy... :/ Anyway...

Speaking of, I received another email from an old boyfriend. Think like .. high school old. He got my number several months ago after his cop buddy looked it up - we're just not going to touch that right now. LOL Anyway, he has mentioned a time or two that he would be interested in getting to know me... on a more romantic level. We're not on the same page - we're really not in the same place in life and I'm just not a girl anymore - I'm looking for something a little more... realistic? I don't know... Anyway, so I get another declarative email on Saturday. This wouldn't be any kind of a deal excepting for two things: 1) I've pretty solidly rebuffed those kinds of advances, in a friendly way; and 2) I'm pretty sure he has been dating someone on my friends list?? Not that it's necessarily serious, or that I really care, but I have to ask... is it cool to do that? I mean, it's not like I have 700 friends or anything like that.. I kinda know the person he has been 'talking with.' It's .. awkward to know that and then get another email from him AFTER talking briefly with her about him. But again, maybe it's just me? Is it wierd, or socially acceptable, for an old boyfriend to kind of date someone on your Myspace Friends list while potentially trying to date you??

I think that's all - just writing that out kinda made my temple throb again! Might be time to go find some Excedrin.

Myspace Migration: Give a Girl a Fish

... and you'll feed her for a day. Give her a place to go fish, and she might just turn up plenty. But, a girl's gotta ask... can you pass 'plenty of fish' and move into 'too many fish??'

Week one of being a 'Plenty of Fish' member. In one week, I've now received around 189 emails from over 100 different men. Some have been intruiging, some have been entertaining, and some have been 'excuse me?' worthy. I have met a couple of the people on there, just because they work near me and we were able to set up a daytime thing. There are a couple of guys that I'm looking forward to meeting, because they seem really great. There are about 80 emails I haven't even been able to really get to yet. So, there's my progress thus far. Here's what I've learned about me so far (because it is, after all, all about me! LOL):

1. I am uncomfortable with the people who knew me from other places contacting me through that site. It just seems wierd to me, I think? I don't know, I guess I feel lik eif I haven't 'taken the bait' in other arenas, I'm not likely to be 'your fish.' (Man, I'm milking this metaphor for all it's worth, aren't I?) Continuing to push it feels semi-stalkerish.

2. I prefer the positive profiles as opposed to the negative ones. While that sounds like a 'duh' kind of thing, hear me out. You have this area to tell people about yourself, and what you're looking for. I prefer the men who spend that area telling me about them, instead of all the stuff that don't want, don't like and the dozen or so requirements, rods, and reels you'll need to be able to sufficiently 'bait' your hook. On that note, there was one guy who sent me an email just this morning - his email said, "If you like what you see in my profile, write back." Ok, normal enough. Well, when I go to his profile, there's this whole diatrible about how rude you are if you don't respond. He actually started out with that, and then referenced it a few more times throughout. That alone? Made me not want to talk to him.

I LOVE the profiles that are more than 3 sentences long and give me some kind of a sense about who I'm emailing before I write them. It's great when you tell me about your interests, your job, your viewpoints, and/or your family. There are also some that have music on them - that's pretty cool, too!

a. Not so sound like I'm on some Diva-trip, but it's not possible to email every person back. And I'm certain, beyond all shadow of a doubt, that I'm not the most popular person on there. And honestly, I don't think there should be anything that obligates me to spend 60 seconds on each email that I receive saying, "Hey, your profile sounds great, but you're not for me. Thanks!" Or is this the standard ettiquite and I've missed the boat? I know I don't expect for every guy I email (well, I have really only emailed one or two, but still..) to email me back.

3. It seems like I get three kinds of responses:

a. "I like what you had to say in your profile" - These guys typically make some reference to something I've said in my profile and -usually- some kind of comment about how they read the whole thing and boy, it was long! LOL These are the guys that I typically like to respond to the most, because it -hopefully- means that they've connected with something about ME, not just one of the pictures on my profile.

b. But, then there are the guys who just put something like 'You're pretty' or 'You're hot' (to which I ALWAYS, every single time, laugh) or something about my appearance and then "Write me back." For me to write those guys back is a pretty rare thing, because half the time I don't think they've even READ my profile (based on the questions of the majority of those that I did go ahead and respond back to, the answers for which were IN my profile) .. so, they're just contacting me on my appearance alone. For some reason, in my mind that equates to a level of shallowness that I find terribly unappealing. It's probably unfair, but it seems like that's pretty much been what I've thought each time that I've read one of those emails. While men may very well be visual, the age of those that I'm dealing with (men in their 30s and 40s) are old enough that they should know that is not how women connect. That being said, it's not the kiss of death or anything, it's just not winning any major brownie points or seperating them out from their competition. (1)

c. Then there are the guys that sell themselves through their first contact. My favorite funny one so far is "Hey, baby, you should hit me back because I can make your earth Moooove. I've got a good job, a kickin' car, and a nice ass." Well, Gee, what else could a girl ask for! No, in all seriousness, I don't mind those at all - if they're obnoxious, or clearly not compatible, I just don't answer.

So there you have it; my insights on the first week. In the next week, I'll post more about the happenings at 'first meetings.' I am enjoying meeting new people.. still pretty casual about the whole dating thing in general. If only you could start at the 4th date, lol... I find I am still a little hestitant to set up the first date. I think it's because of the 'b' guys - I'm not sure what they've built me up to be in their head; and at the end of the day, while I'm pretty happy with who I am overall, rejection? Still kind of sucks - so if they've built me up to be more than I am, and there's disappointed in what I personally think is pretty fabulous (2), then it's kind of frustrating. I guess, at the end of the day, I figure I've got to get over it and set things up because when I'm looking back on my life 50 years from now, I want to be able to say I had the guts to get in the car. (3) I have found with the couple of people I've managed to fit into my schedule - largely because they work near me - I still don't get nervous on 'first dates.' It almost seems like a contradiction to me - I'm nervous before I meet them, but am sort of blase' when I do. Go figure...

~~

(1) I'm also a little wierded out when people get too intimate in their conversation too quickly... and these guys tend to be the ones that do it. I'm not talking about asking/talking about sex as much as I am talking about terms of endearment or being overly clingy within the first two hours of emailing back and forth. I have a name that most of the time, I'm pretty much ok with. And last I checked, it wasn't 'Babe,' 'Sugar,' 'Honey,' 'Sweetie,' or 'Pet.' This may be coming off as overly feminist in nature, and I don't mean it that way. It's not like it's going to get you thrown off the island or anything, but it does give me the heebe-jeebies. In movies, there's a thing called 'color blocking' whereby they dress corresponding characters (the romantic couples, for example) in shades of the same color or complimenting colors. It's a subconscious visual thing. In business, they say you should match the body-language of your clients/audience/etc... it puts them at relative ease. I think the same is true with terms of endearment; toss it out there if you like, it's no big deal.... but, if the person you're calling 'sweet lips' doesn't catch it and throw you back a 'sugar buns' then maybe you should hold off for awhile and try again later? To me, it feels a little bit rushed and clingy to come up with pet names/use terms of endearment before you've even met. Might just be me, though...

(2) come on, you know I am! LOL

(3) what can I say? I love the movie Transformers and it's on right now - too good to pass up!

Myspace Migration: I Like the Nightlife; I Like to Boogie

Ok, I can't even get past the first sentence - I'm still giggling about the title. As is probably anyone that knows me remotely well. Many things I am, a 'club girl?' Not so much one of them. But still, now and again, I'll get a little girly looking and go out with my friends. Like I did this past Saturday night.

We went to a club called Sting. Large place, and actually, as far as clubs go... it was pretty nice. There were 4 main rooms, each with a different feel. The front room was more for dancing: there was a bar and a ginormous video screen playing videos with scantily clad women moving in ways that flaunt flexibility that many of us will only dream about obtaining. A DJ was in this little cave in the corner - it was neat. To the left of that room was a billards room. To the right of that room, there was another room with a bar and a more Latin flair. Colorful music filled the room and there were tables - I think I remember my friend telling me that it used to be a restaurant? From that room, you could flow into a room where you had about 1/2" of personal space because that room? Was packed. It was more of a 'glam' look with dance music pumping out of the loudspeakers. This room, btw, was where people were getting checked out hardcore. It's also where the VIP area was, sleek couches with table service. That was actually the only area in the room that wasn't packed inch-to-inch. Still, everyone seemed like they were having a good time, and that was a good thing.

My favorite place in the joint was actually the patio area - and had it not been over 100 degrees even at night, we probably would have been there. It was inviting, and had a more relaxed personality to it. All in all, if you're a club person, you should probably check it out sometime - you'd probably have a lot of fun.

All that being said, I'm not a club girl. It's really loud in clubs! To the point that I had to fall back on reading my friend's lips... :D Also, I might just be a little too conservative to handle the way people 'hook up' in clubs and evidently, I'm too dense to notice when people are checking me out! This might be a self-preservation thing; because, I'm pretty sure if they were looking at me the way they were leering at my friend, I wouldn't be able to do anything but stand there completely beet-red from blushing! Clubs just might be a little too forward for my tastes. But, it's fabulous for people watching... really fantastic people-watching opportunities. From the dress of the people there, to some of the cars they rolled up in, to the way they interacted with each other.. it's a cornucopia of interesting sights to behold. All in all, though, I might be more of a 'hang-out-with-the-neighbors' kind of girl... alternatively, if you find a coffee shop, you'll probably find me!! :D

Moving on, I'm a Fish. More specifically, my gal pal Daphne talked me into joining a site called "Plenty of Fish." I'm not quite sure 'talked me into' is even really the right phrase - might have been more like 'wore me down!' hahaha Anyway, I created a profile; stuck some pictures up and have been a member for a couple of days. Over the weekend, I received 6 pages of emails and ended up on 40ish 'favorites.' Evidently, if you see a profile you like, you can save it to your 'favorites.' Now, I'm not really sure what that does for you, other than might make it easier to find later, but I did notice that the site publicizes how many people picked you to be on their 'favorites.' Interesting. Anyway, it's not costing me anything and I have been introduced to a couple of very interesting guys via POF, so for now, I'm ok with being a Fish. We'll see how it goes. For now? I have to go to work!