Current mood:nauseated
Ok, I'm sincerely baffled by the term "Customer Service" and how subjective that term really is. The level of service varies greatly by company, individual and how much you choose to suck up to the person you're speaking to that day. For example, I went into Ann Taylor today. I had purchased a lovely necklace (very delicate and looks great on me!) that broke after the first time I wore it. So, I shoved it in my purse and made a mental note to take it back. Two months later, I finally got around to doing it. I breezed into Ann Taylor, smiled and asked for a replacement. The Sales Clerk (beautiful lady, I might add and I wish I were that put-together) smiled and immediately went through all their jewelry to see if there was another one. There wasn't. I asked her what we should do (always say "WE" - they like it when they think you're in this together, and you kind of are) and do you know what? She took it to a jewelry store and had it fixed. Called me this afternoon and tomorrow I get to go pick it up. THAT, my friends, is customer service at it's best and why I love Ann Taylor.
Here's the contrast. I'm working on my marketing presentations for work in my bedroom. Yes, I did grab a quick one-hour nap, but I was working when this whole scenario began to transpire. The kids run in to inform me that the Disney channel isn't working on any of the TVs. You have to understand, that's pretty much the only channel they're allowed to watch... so this is a big deal to them. And, noone's allowed to play, so they don't know what to do with themselves. They've read and everything, they explain (I decide now is not the time to clue them into the fact they CAN indeed read for fun for longer than 15 minutes, they look panic stricken enough as it is).
So, I call the cable company (secretly wondering if maybe I forgot to pay that bill). Jeffrina (no joke, that was her name) comes on the line to assist me. 25 minutes later, we still are no closer to having Disney, I've found out that yes I did forget to pay them (but that has nothing to do with why we have no Disney, I've got excellent credit with them, she explains... I can go for three months without paying my bill.. make a mental note to self in case I ever get into a serious financial quagmire), and I've got MASSIVE heartburn. Why? Because my bill was $300.
Now, I'm the first to concede I'm bad at mental math. But, I know roughly what I'm SUPPOSED to be charged per month - it's about $130, after tax and 2 pay per view movies. Well, Jeffrina explains to me that I actually did 7 movies over the last 2 months (3.99/movie x7 is a little under $30) - so that's probably why it's $300 instead of $260 (did I mention that we just changed a billing cycle? Well, we did - that's why it's 2 months worth of fees). I patiently explain to her that I've got 2 movies budgeted each month into the $130 fee... 4 extra movies would only run me about $16. So, she goes back line by line. Did I know the only thing I'm missing is Cinemax?? Yes, Jeffrina, and I think about it about every other day when the cool movie comes on the only set of channels I don't want to pay for (but I've got the other 3 and can't justify it to myself... how many movies does 1 person need to see?). No, Jeffrina, I don't want to buy Cinemax today - and how does that help us figure out where the extra charges are coming from?
Well, your base package is $116. "Hold the phone; no it's not. It's $99." Well, you've been paying it for months - like, 6 of them. Crap. I knew there was a good reason to at least LOOK at your bill before you call in to make a payment. "Ok, so don't credit me back for anything; but can you please fix it going forward?" No ma'am, we're a no-contract company, once a special's off your service, it's gone. "Well, isn't that just ducky. So you're basically telling me you can charge what you want at will? Change it whenever the mood suits?" Yes ma'am, I don't want to lie to you - that's basically how it works. Now your DVRs, them are running you 9.99 per month. You have 2. "Hold the phone again. One of those is supposed to be included in my DVR Entertainment package that you're now charging me an additional $17/month for. And the other is supposed to be $6 - I've got it written down." Fast and furiously I flip through my personal notepad where I keep all this stuff (SUCH an improvement over 10 years ago) and look at what I had written down in regards to that order and circle it with my pen, like it's going to prove something to the woman that just said "them are running you," as though that's proper English. Well, it IS $6, but we have to charge you $3.99 for the digital cable box service in order for it to work. "Ok, so then it isn't $6.. it's $9.99. Another price increase perhaps?" I vow silently to start studying that bill as though it were the key to my survival every month. And hey, if they keep upping the prices on the cable bill, it just might be. I couldn't say ma'am; I just work here. Seriously. Yes, she Did. Say. That.
After 25 minutes, I still can't get the math to add up, I'm calmly talking to her about the Deceptive Trade Practices Act (seriously, I was calm, though clearly agitated) and the heartburn is RAGING in my chest. To the point I realize that I need to end this call.. quickly, or I'll literally be sick. So, I ask for my total - it's gone up $40 since we started the phone call. I kid you not. She said, well your current is 300 and your back balance is 40. "So, then I need to pay $340?" Oh no, ma'am; it's 306. "Oh, so the back balance is included in the current balance? Cool." Oh no, ma'am it's not. "Ok, so I DO need to pay $340?" No, your current balance is 300 - your back balance is 40. You only need to pay the current balance at this time. Very slowly and using very small deliberate words, I ask "If I wanted to say - go get satellite and cancel cable - what would I need to pay to zero out the balance?" 306. "Ok. Let me give you my card number." Sometimes you have to know when to just give in - but the only thing she served this customer was a ginormous need for TUMS. And my kids still don't have the Disney Channel.
I should probably get back to work and check on dinner. Will write more later.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Myspace Migration: Ditto, Deodorant & Latex Housewives
Had a fantastic night last night. Girls night, party of 4, became Girls Night, party of two. Went to Simply Fondue - the only place I will EVER pay over $100 to cook my own meal. Had a blast - stuffed ourselves silly - gained a pound (which probably took up residence on my already over-sized butt, lol) - but it was worth it.
Besides, Jackie and I decided that we'll walk it off today at the mall. But, they had a fantastic bottle of Reisling (which I love) and I got my entertainment from her drunk-texting some of my friends with "Do ALL Guys Pee in the Shower??" I find this amusing because A) my friends now know it's her, not I, doing the texting - and they have fun with her and B) I'd like to know what they say back. DO all guys pee in the shower? We had one guy answer back, "Of course; it conserves water." Um, ok - never thought of it that way. Anyway, went to Eric's after I dropped Jackie off and listened to music until the wee hours of the morning. I LOVE music - it is interesting to see the differences in how we listen to music, though. He dissects the music as it's playing - I try to feel it. Neither is wrong, though - I enjoyed listening to the selections he chose - there were some somewhat obscure songs from great artists. Plus, I got to hang out in a giant bean-bag chair - always a bonus!
Ok, so have you noticed there are a shocking number of people who put on WHITE deodorant BEFORE they put on their black clothing?? I am a major proponent of wearing black - it's slimming, hides spills, creates great lines and looks commanding. However, I know (and this is one of those rare instances where common sense came inherently to me) to put my deodorant on after I've put on my shirt. Why? Because the white "I wore my deodorant today" lines you get if you don't just REALLY aren't attractive. And, call me crazy, but I think anyone over say ... I don't know... 16... should get that. There is a guy at the office though that nearly every time I see him has the deodorant lines on his shirt, though. Drives me bonkers as I'm sure he's close to 40. I'm sincerely mulling over the possibility of slipping a 3x5 instruction card on his desk or suggesting the clear stick, but I'm afraid that might come across as cruel. But then again, letting him continue to have the lines on his shirt is cruel, too... right?????
Ditto. Ditto. Ditto, ditto, ditto. I LOVE that word. Always have. Ghost threatened to ruin the word for me (and I guess did for many years); seriously, I think the first few times a guy answered "Ditto" in return for an "I Love You" that MIGHT be considered cute... after that, I'm pretty sure I'd either be thinking (or saying), "Say it back, you b-stard!" Anyway, I remember "Ditto" being en-vogue when I was in school, and that just totally ruined it. I can't be like everyone else, after all. But, it's a great word. So, this morning, as I'm texting someone, I realize that I just get tired of how long it takes to write a response back and decide to economize on words by replying with, "Ditto." OMG, I saved myself 12 words and 2 minutes! If I capitalized on this word and used it every time it was applicable, I'd probably end up with an extra hour in my day. With two kids, a busy practice, and attempting to jump start my love-life (or extreme lack thereof)... do you have any IDEA what I could do with an extra hour????
So last night, after I get home, I get ready for bed and turn on the TV. It's WAY late and although I'm tempted to turn on the TV, I told Eric I wouldn't watch a movie (I suffer from random bouts of insomnia and just got off a 2 week, no-sleep bender) and would get some sleep. And yes, Eric, I DID keep my word and did not watch TV. I decided to turn my television on to the music section... did you know you get music with Digital Cable? I love Cable... well, to get to the music section, you have to scroll down the PPV titles. Let me TELL you, I have never seen such colorful titles as the adult movie titles! I mean, who wouldn't want to watch "Latex Housewives" or "Shadows of a Geisha" or "Pimp My Wife?" They practically oooze entertainment - well, they ooze something anyway.. Seriously, though - it's PORN... who the heck cares what you call it. You'd get more people ordering it if you had little avatar sized pictures of the stars in their bathing suits or something on the info screen (which, as a parent, I think should only be able to be accessed after you've entered in a 4-digit code confirming you're either over 18 or your parents don't give a damn). I know I don't want to pay 19.95 for a movie I don't even know what the actors in it look like. Although, as I was discussing this with Tim this morning (my favorite gay friend and probably the only guy I would consider getting into in-depth discussions on stuff like this with), he said the money shots all look the same. He's probably right.
I do miss my laptop. It's just not the same. Sunday Mornings are supposed to occur with me sitting in bed, sipping coffee/tea, eating fruit and pounding out the pages on my laptop. I think I'm going to have it looked at, after all.
Ah well, off to the mall to Lush (www.lush.com since I don't know how to use the "insert link" function) and Sephora for more shimmer shadow (www.sephora.com Bare Escentuals "Shimmer" and Stila's "All Over Shimmer" are to die for; Dior's Gloss Show is a must have for every make-up bag, too). I really do NOT like malls and can't wait for the day my empire is large enough to justify a personal shopper... however, I console myself with the fact it's great for people watching. I'm sure I'll have plenty of fodder for writing later.
~~~~
Let me just say that as much as I like Will Smith; I'm finding NO humor in the fact that it's 2 am and after two days of being able to sleep - I'm up watching Fresh Prince reruns. This is SO not fair.
Besides, Jackie and I decided that we'll walk it off today at the mall. But, they had a fantastic bottle of Reisling (which I love) and I got my entertainment from her drunk-texting some of my friends with "Do ALL Guys Pee in the Shower??" I find this amusing because A) my friends now know it's her, not I, doing the texting - and they have fun with her and B) I'd like to know what they say back. DO all guys pee in the shower? We had one guy answer back, "Of course; it conserves water." Um, ok - never thought of it that way. Anyway, went to Eric's after I dropped Jackie off and listened to music until the wee hours of the morning. I LOVE music - it is interesting to see the differences in how we listen to music, though. He dissects the music as it's playing - I try to feel it. Neither is wrong, though - I enjoyed listening to the selections he chose - there were some somewhat obscure songs from great artists. Plus, I got to hang out in a giant bean-bag chair - always a bonus!
Ok, so have you noticed there are a shocking number of people who put on WHITE deodorant BEFORE they put on their black clothing?? I am a major proponent of wearing black - it's slimming, hides spills, creates great lines and looks commanding. However, I know (and this is one of those rare instances where common sense came inherently to me) to put my deodorant on after I've put on my shirt. Why? Because the white "I wore my deodorant today" lines you get if you don't just REALLY aren't attractive. And, call me crazy, but I think anyone over say ... I don't know... 16... should get that. There is a guy at the office though that nearly every time I see him has the deodorant lines on his shirt, though. Drives me bonkers as I'm sure he's close to 40. I'm sincerely mulling over the possibility of slipping a 3x5 instruction card on his desk or suggesting the clear stick, but I'm afraid that might come across as cruel. But then again, letting him continue to have the lines on his shirt is cruel, too... right?????
Ditto. Ditto. Ditto, ditto, ditto. I LOVE that word. Always have. Ghost threatened to ruin the word for me (and I guess did for many years); seriously, I think the first few times a guy answered "Ditto" in return for an "I Love You" that MIGHT be considered cute... after that, I'm pretty sure I'd either be thinking (or saying), "Say it back, you b-stard!" Anyway, I remember "Ditto" being en-vogue when I was in school, and that just totally ruined it. I can't be like everyone else, after all. But, it's a great word. So, this morning, as I'm texting someone, I realize that I just get tired of how long it takes to write a response back and decide to economize on words by replying with, "Ditto." OMG, I saved myself 12 words and 2 minutes! If I capitalized on this word and used it every time it was applicable, I'd probably end up with an extra hour in my day. With two kids, a busy practice, and attempting to jump start my love-life (or extreme lack thereof)... do you have any IDEA what I could do with an extra hour????
So last night, after I get home, I get ready for bed and turn on the TV. It's WAY late and although I'm tempted to turn on the TV, I told Eric I wouldn't watch a movie (I suffer from random bouts of insomnia and just got off a 2 week, no-sleep bender) and would get some sleep. And yes, Eric, I DID keep my word and did not watch TV. I decided to turn my television on to the music section... did you know you get music with Digital Cable? I love Cable... well, to get to the music section, you have to scroll down the PPV titles. Let me TELL you, I have never seen such colorful titles as the adult movie titles! I mean, who wouldn't want to watch "Latex Housewives" or "Shadows of a Geisha" or "Pimp My Wife?" They practically oooze entertainment - well, they ooze something anyway.. Seriously, though - it's PORN... who the heck cares what you call it. You'd get more people ordering it if you had little avatar sized pictures of the stars in their bathing suits or something on the info screen (which, as a parent, I think should only be able to be accessed after you've entered in a 4-digit code confirming you're either over 18 or your parents don't give a damn). I know I don't want to pay 19.95 for a movie I don't even know what the actors in it look like. Although, as I was discussing this with Tim this morning (my favorite gay friend and probably the only guy I would consider getting into in-depth discussions on stuff like this with), he said the money shots all look the same. He's probably right.
I do miss my laptop. It's just not the same. Sunday Mornings are supposed to occur with me sitting in bed, sipping coffee/tea, eating fruit and pounding out the pages on my laptop. I think I'm going to have it looked at, after all.
Ah well, off to the mall to Lush (www.lush.com since I don't know how to use the "insert link" function) and Sephora for more shimmer shadow (www.sephora.com Bare Escentuals "Shimmer" and Stila's "All Over Shimmer" are to die for; Dior's Gloss Show is a must have for every make-up bag, too). I really do NOT like malls and can't wait for the day my empire is large enough to justify a personal shopper... however, I console myself with the fact it's great for people watching. I'm sure I'll have plenty of fodder for writing later.
~~~~
Let me just say that as much as I like Will Smith; I'm finding NO humor in the fact that it's 2 am and after two days of being able to sleep - I'm up watching Fresh Prince reruns. This is SO not fair.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Myspace Migration: I Finished the Book
Ok, let me just say I LOVED, seriously LOVED - finished and want to read again, LOVE - Bitter is the New Black. It was fan-flippin'-tastic. Quite possibly the best book put out by the Penguin Group in quite some time. Don't get me wrong, there can never be too many reprints of Anna Karenina (although, really, the only cool people are the ones who read it before Oprah made it a "book club" choice... Remind me to vent about that later on in this little submission); but, it's just nice to find a refreshing weekend read. Definately a great end-of-summer, need-some-downtime, or I-just-got-dumped/laid off/I'm broke-and-need some humor choice of reading. So, anyway, I loved this book. For a couple of reasons: a) It's funny as hell, b) like I said last night, this girl says what I'm thinking a good deal of the time (minus the massive hang-up on brand-name items, which I don't have because I can't in good conscience submit to spending what equates to one month's utilities on a purse when I don't like purses in the first place), and c) she writes the way I'm trying to. Which, if I were a jealous person, would make me jealous as all get-out because it feels like another ".com" moment. When the telecom/.com boom was going on, Jason (my ex-husband) and I were cognisant of it - but too darn young to really do anything about getting in on it (I didn't quite have the meglomania tendancies I do now, they hadn't developed yet). We actually had conversations on how we knew we were missing the boat; a "the-world-has-been-there, done-that" sort of thing. So, there's a tiny part of me that says, "Hmm, the world's already GOT a writer who's writing style's quite like what you are working towards - keep your day job." Fortunately for me, it's really "Crystal's World" (and yes, you should all take up permanent residence, it's more fun here) and so I can convince myself that people would enjoy what I have to say because, hey - it's from me. Anyway, back on point, I will be purchasing whatever this chick puts out next. And I will keep writing my story about exercises in controlled chaos - AKA being a single parent.
I read in the back of the book she's got a website, so I'll promote it: www.jennsylvania.com And now I'll move onto the rant that typing that URL just created. Oprah can wait a paragraph or two. So, in pasting that URL, "little Crystal" (that little voice I mentioned earlier inside me?) said, "Check it out - make sure you've got it right.. one "N" or two?" I had originally thought it would be 1 N, since that's how she spelled her name in the book. Yeah, no.. it's 2. Anyway, the jenslyvania.com site is some site that someone snatched up (probably after her first book, but who knows?) and has all kinds of links with Jen on them - except the one to her actual, friggin' website. Which is, of course, where I want to go. And the really sad thing is I run across these websites as much, if not more, than the actual websites I'm looking to go to. Frustrates the hell out of me and quite frankly - I'll never click on a link that leads to anything that has to do with commerce because I don't want them getting the .008 cents they'll get for the banner link click. Bastards. Phew! I feel better, how about you? :)
On to Oprah. Ok, I think it's fabulous what Oprah's doing for the literary world and our society of boob-tube addicts (although, get in the way of my weekly dose of "Weeds" and I'll have to hurt you.. so, don't take that as a put-down). I like the fact that she's made book clubs en-vogue again, and that people are starting to find reading cool. But, what bites me - really gets under my skin, are the Oprah-ites that feel like they've invented or discovered uncharted territory with reading. "OMG, I just found this great new book - you have to read it. It's fabulous - it's Anna Karenina." Yup. Been there - done that - in the eigth grade, thank you. Now, admittedly, I really didn't completely get it until I read it again during my own dismal marriage, but the fact of the matter is that book has been around longer than anyone who is reading it now has been drawing breath. It's. Not. New. People. And you're really not cool for thinking it is - in fact, I think it says something that you didn't know it existed until you saw it on TV. LOL (yes, I am smirking and being condescending here - but, can you blame me?)
I tried to go to a book club once - our neighborhood has one - it drove me nuts. First of all, the book choice was abysmal and hoplessly shallow in a non-funny way (and no, I'm not going to tell you what it was because I'm afraid someone would possibly purchase it to see if I'm right and indirectly help that author write another book by contributing to their success). And the cows at the book club sat around talking about how "True" it was and getting way too deep on stuff that, seriously, I think the froth on my mocha double-caf has more substance than. Ok, so I know that's a badly put together sentence, but you get my point. It was like they had found the cure for cancer within the lines of this bathroom book (that actually, I wouldn't have in my bathroom - I've got Politically Correct Bedtime Stories in the powder bath for guests - and I'm secretly praying that if they ever have cause to read any of it while utilizing the facilities, they'll notice there's also a can of Febreeze Air Freshener behind the toilet... everyone may like their own brand, but I don't need to smell the demons you just exorcised, thank you). I had to wonder if any of them had actually read anything worthwhile.. ever. So, I asked them about various books that, by all rights, they SHOULD have read in school/or were considered to be important: To Kill a Mockingbird, The Agony and the Ecstacy, Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, The Scarlet Letter, Farenheit 451, or The Great Gatsby. Seriously, how anyone can make it through High School or College and NOT have read these books is beyond me. And they're important pieces of fiction writing. But, to my shock, horror, and utter dismay at the educational system in general, I was met with blank stares and furrowed brows. If you have to think hard about it, it obviously didn't do much for you. Seriously. One guy responded, "I've seen the movies of most of those; we saw Farenheit 451 and To Kill a Mockingbird in school." And another lady went off on a tangent about how great of a remake "Bride and Prejudice" was from the first "Pride and Prejudice" movie that she thinks A&E did. Ok, I need to go throw up now. Needless to say, I am far too cool for that book club and it was the last time I went.
Why is it that it takes a movie to make so many books cool? And when did reading become unfashionable? Seriously, I think my imagination does a far better job than most Hollywood productions ever could dare hope for. And typically, with cuter guys. Of course, most of them star ME in my cutest form, but hey - that's what makes it great. Again, it is my world. I was talking with Eric last night about book-movies. I'd rather read the book before I see the movie - because, realistically, the movie can not pick up all the intricate little details that make a good book great. And, I like to poke fun of the movie-makers for screwing it up by leaving out things that I found important. Which is, of course, why I think it's important to go see movies with smart-alecks and wise-crackers. At a venue where they serve alcohol. I must now pause for a brief moment to pay homage to The Movie Grill in Plano. I can hear the "ahhh!" sounds of the chorus behind me as I write this. It is brilliant beyond brilliant to be able to watch "Failure to Launch" or "You, Me, and Dupree" with a good martini or margarita in hand. Oh CRAP! I'm supposed to be out with Regan watching a chick flick right now.
Later.
Ok, so it IS good that I'm using the calendar on myspace and my phone to keep up with my life. It would be BETTER if I actually put the right dates in it, though. Chick-flick with Regan is NEXT weekend. Oops. Oh well, at least I'm not an hour late now. It's all about the little things, people. So, I'll just take a brief moment to address the calendars and technology before I go do something slightly productive (or what could mask for productive) with my day - even if it's just to get out of my jammers and straighten my hair for tonight. So, I've switched to the Treo, which I'm loving. Wish I had bought that phone first and saved myself $200 (because you KNOW Cingular didn't pony up the difference between the two phones when I switched them out). The calendar function is pretty cool, like I said.. and, as an added benefit you can beam your schedule into someone else's calendar. That confused me. So, I asked a guy at work about it while he was fixing some of my settings. "Oh," he said. "Yeah, that's cool; you can beam your schedule to your significant other's palm or treo and then you'll have your lives synched up." First of all, yes, he did say "significant other" and secondly... um, pardon? Isn't that what communication does for you? I do this fairly regularly with friends and family. It's called asking a question: "What do you have going on tomorrow/this week/this month/your life?" And it spurs conversation. If it's something applicable to me or that I need to remember, I make a mental note or write it down. The idea of being so busy that I need to beam my S.O.'s schedule into my palm (if they live in the same house, I guess I KIND of get it if you're in different households) is slightly disturbing to me. Maybe I'm a relic, but I think I prefer old-fashioned conversation.
OMG, I almost had a heart attack. I thought I had lost all of my old blogs - when the "view blog" page comes up, it didn't display all of them - just the last few. Not that anything I'm writing is worthy of a literary award or will change the face of humanity, but I want to be able to reference back on them. Some of the situations in my blogs are being used to for my writing - and with the death of my laptop, I have no other back-up! The wave of relief that washed over me when I saw the "Older/Newer" blog links was insane. Seriously - that might have been a better feeling than sex. Maybe. At any rate, you can click on the 'older' link and pull up your (my, because I know you read them over and over again like I do, lol) old blogs.
I read in the back of the book she's got a website, so I'll promote it: www.jennsylvania.com And now I'll move onto the rant that typing that URL just created. Oprah can wait a paragraph or two. So, in pasting that URL, "little Crystal" (that little voice I mentioned earlier inside me?) said, "Check it out - make sure you've got it right.. one "N" or two?" I had originally thought it would be 1 N, since that's how she spelled her name in the book. Yeah, no.. it's 2. Anyway, the jenslyvania.com site is some site that someone snatched up (probably after her first book, but who knows?) and has all kinds of links with Jen on them - except the one to her actual, friggin' website. Which is, of course, where I want to go. And the really sad thing is I run across these websites as much, if not more, than the actual websites I'm looking to go to. Frustrates the hell out of me and quite frankly - I'll never click on a link that leads to anything that has to do with commerce because I don't want them getting the .008 cents they'll get for the banner link click. Bastards. Phew! I feel better, how about you? :)
On to Oprah. Ok, I think it's fabulous what Oprah's doing for the literary world and our society of boob-tube addicts (although, get in the way of my weekly dose of "Weeds" and I'll have to hurt you.. so, don't take that as a put-down). I like the fact that she's made book clubs en-vogue again, and that people are starting to find reading cool. But, what bites me - really gets under my skin, are the Oprah-ites that feel like they've invented or discovered uncharted territory with reading. "OMG, I just found this great new book - you have to read it. It's fabulous - it's Anna Karenina." Yup. Been there - done that - in the eigth grade, thank you. Now, admittedly, I really didn't completely get it until I read it again during my own dismal marriage, but the fact of the matter is that book has been around longer than anyone who is reading it now has been drawing breath. It's. Not. New. People. And you're really not cool for thinking it is - in fact, I think it says something that you didn't know it existed until you saw it on TV. LOL (yes, I am smirking and being condescending here - but, can you blame me?)
I tried to go to a book club once - our neighborhood has one - it drove me nuts. First of all, the book choice was abysmal and hoplessly shallow in a non-funny way (and no, I'm not going to tell you what it was because I'm afraid someone would possibly purchase it to see if I'm right and indirectly help that author write another book by contributing to their success). And the cows at the book club sat around talking about how "True" it was and getting way too deep on stuff that, seriously, I think the froth on my mocha double-caf has more substance than. Ok, so I know that's a badly put together sentence, but you get my point. It was like they had found the cure for cancer within the lines of this bathroom book (that actually, I wouldn't have in my bathroom - I've got Politically Correct Bedtime Stories in the powder bath for guests - and I'm secretly praying that if they ever have cause to read any of it while utilizing the facilities, they'll notice there's also a can of Febreeze Air Freshener behind the toilet... everyone may like their own brand, but I don't need to smell the demons you just exorcised, thank you). I had to wonder if any of them had actually read anything worthwhile.. ever. So, I asked them about various books that, by all rights, they SHOULD have read in school/or were considered to be important: To Kill a Mockingbird, The Agony and the Ecstacy, Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, The Scarlet Letter, Farenheit 451, or The Great Gatsby. Seriously, how anyone can make it through High School or College and NOT have read these books is beyond me. And they're important pieces of fiction writing. But, to my shock, horror, and utter dismay at the educational system in general, I was met with blank stares and furrowed brows. If you have to think hard about it, it obviously didn't do much for you. Seriously. One guy responded, "I've seen the movies of most of those; we saw Farenheit 451 and To Kill a Mockingbird in school." And another lady went off on a tangent about how great of a remake "Bride and Prejudice" was from the first "Pride and Prejudice" movie that she thinks A&E did. Ok, I need to go throw up now. Needless to say, I am far too cool for that book club and it was the last time I went.
Why is it that it takes a movie to make so many books cool? And when did reading become unfashionable? Seriously, I think my imagination does a far better job than most Hollywood productions ever could dare hope for. And typically, with cuter guys. Of course, most of them star ME in my cutest form, but hey - that's what makes it great. Again, it is my world. I was talking with Eric last night about book-movies. I'd rather read the book before I see the movie - because, realistically, the movie can not pick up all the intricate little details that make a good book great. And, I like to poke fun of the movie-makers for screwing it up by leaving out things that I found important. Which is, of course, why I think it's important to go see movies with smart-alecks and wise-crackers. At a venue where they serve alcohol. I must now pause for a brief moment to pay homage to The Movie Grill in Plano. I can hear the "ahhh!" sounds of the chorus behind me as I write this. It is brilliant beyond brilliant to be able to watch "Failure to Launch" or "You, Me, and Dupree" with a good martini or margarita in hand. Oh CRAP! I'm supposed to be out with Regan watching a chick flick right now.
Later.
Ok, so it IS good that I'm using the calendar on myspace and my phone to keep up with my life. It would be BETTER if I actually put the right dates in it, though. Chick-flick with Regan is NEXT weekend. Oops. Oh well, at least I'm not an hour late now. It's all about the little things, people. So, I'll just take a brief moment to address the calendars and technology before I go do something slightly productive (or what could mask for productive) with my day - even if it's just to get out of my jammers and straighten my hair for tonight. So, I've switched to the Treo, which I'm loving. Wish I had bought that phone first and saved myself $200 (because you KNOW Cingular didn't pony up the difference between the two phones when I switched them out). The calendar function is pretty cool, like I said.. and, as an added benefit you can beam your schedule into someone else's calendar. That confused me. So, I asked a guy at work about it while he was fixing some of my settings. "Oh," he said. "Yeah, that's cool; you can beam your schedule to your significant other's palm or treo and then you'll have your lives synched up." First of all, yes, he did say "significant other" and secondly... um, pardon? Isn't that what communication does for you? I do this fairly regularly with friends and family. It's called asking a question: "What do you have going on tomorrow/this week/this month/your life?" And it spurs conversation. If it's something applicable to me or that I need to remember, I make a mental note or write it down. The idea of being so busy that I need to beam my S.O.'s schedule into my palm (if they live in the same house, I guess I KIND of get it if you're in different households) is slightly disturbing to me. Maybe I'm a relic, but I think I prefer old-fashioned conversation.
OMG, I almost had a heart attack. I thought I had lost all of my old blogs - when the "view blog" page comes up, it didn't display all of them - just the last few. Not that anything I'm writing is worthy of a literary award or will change the face of humanity, but I want to be able to reference back on them. Some of the situations in my blogs are being used to for my writing - and with the death of my laptop, I have no other back-up! The wave of relief that washed over me when I saw the "Older/Newer" blog links was insane. Seriously - that might have been a better feeling than sex. Maybe. At any rate, you can click on the 'older' link and pull up your (my, because I know you read them over and over again like I do, lol) old blogs.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Myspace Migration: Champagne Thursday
Ok, yes, my girlfriend and I totally ripped this off from Failure to Launch after we saw it in theatres... but come on, it's cool.. it's fun to sit on the porch at night with your gal pal and chitty chat. So, I have a lot to celebrate with Champagne Thursday this week. First of all, the company that owes me money is wiring it. So, yay! (Hopefully, they wire the whole fee) Secondly, I don't have to move. I get a new lease that will take me through May 2008. That works for me. I hate moving and now I get to keep the entertainment center! That's definately worth celebrating. Thirdly, I had a fun evening last night, a good evening planned for tomorrow night, and an interesting weekend ahead. I'm bubbly! Finally, got a really good handle on the inventory of candidates that I have - I think I'm going to hire someone to help me with this. I have nearly a million dollars of placeable candidates right now.
Will write more later.
Well, bummer - having to do champagne Thursday alone tonight. That blows. T has a sick little one, though; so.. .it's just me, a bottle of champagne (that I've made a serious dent into) and a bin of strawberries. I'm enjoying them on my own :) However, the whole point of champagne Thursday is to have GIRL TIME! Oh well... life will go on. I love the bubbles in champagne. Seriously; kind of fun to watch (not for long, though - I'm not a cat). While we're on the subject of digestables... next time you eat strawberries - take a moment to run your tongue along the strawberry (or your strawberry along your tongue). If you're into tactiles, this is really a cool thing - strawberrys feel rather cool, and tickle your tongue with the little bumps on them. I don't do it often, but I find that rather amusing.
I have nothing of any real significance to discuss this evening, at least not in relation to my life. There's a book I need to be reading, though - so I guess I'll go get to it.
Will write more later.
Well, bummer - having to do champagne Thursday alone tonight. That blows. T has a sick little one, though; so.. .it's just me, a bottle of champagne (that I've made a serious dent into) and a bin of strawberries. I'm enjoying them on my own :) However, the whole point of champagne Thursday is to have GIRL TIME! Oh well... life will go on. I love the bubbles in champagne. Seriously; kind of fun to watch (not for long, though - I'm not a cat). While we're on the subject of digestables... next time you eat strawberries - take a moment to run your tongue along the strawberry (or your strawberry along your tongue). If you're into tactiles, this is really a cool thing - strawberrys feel rather cool, and tickle your tongue with the little bumps on them. I don't do it often, but I find that rather amusing.
I have nothing of any real significance to discuss this evening, at least not in relation to my life. There's a book I need to be reading, though - so I guess I'll go get to it.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Myspace Migration: Manic Monday
Current mood:tired
Or wait, do I mean frantic? Today's been nuts and I'm loving it! I love fast-paced week-days... like the hustle and bustle of industry. Have several searches that require my immediate attention and did some work for it over the weekend that's paying off in spades today. Yes, I do feel like the next American Bad-ass when I can have two new candidates that are 100ead-on matches submitted to a position I just received on Friday.
I've got to finish up 2 PTA plans of work before 5:45 so I can get them to Jennie (the PTA president) when I pick up the disposable cameras to pass out to all the teachers. I've taken on the responsiblity of Yearbook Chair this year for the PTA and acquired the Sponsorship Chair responsibility yesterday by default. No big; I'm good with multi-tasking and I've got delegating down pat over the last few weeks. The kids get to meet their teachers today - I'm SO excited for them!
I really want to fit in a good workout today. Just have some unresolved tension I'd like to burn out. Wonder if I'll get the time, though.... maybe I can sneak out early if my 2:15 meeting doesn't run too late???
~~~~
Ok, so we met the teachers. I did get the Plans of Work done, the volunteer hours logged, and the cameras put in the right hands. Now, we were about 30 cameras short, but hey -it's a start!ÃI'll see if Target will donate some tomorrow. Natalie has Lindsey's second grade teacher - she'll be good for her, keep her challenged. And, of course, Natalie is everybody's friend - she had at least 5 "best friends" that made it into class with her this year. She's too funny for words.ÃLindsey was given what appears to be an excellent teacher, but there's a snag ('cause you know, perfection would be too much to ask for!): Fran is in Lindsey's class.ÃFran is a little girl that literally tortured Lindsey in 2nd grade. I requested for them to not be in the same class last year and honestly, mostly forgot about her. But this girl is pure evil in a child form. She'd tell Lindsey that she couldn't wait for her to die, so maybe she (Fran) should kill her herself and that she was looking forward to Lindsey's funeral so she (Fran) could spit in her grave. Seriously, that's deranged junk to be coming out of a child under 10. Lindsey would come home freaked out - and honestly, while I told her to ignore it, I don't completely blame her. She (Fran) told the other kids she'd beat them up if they played with Lindsey - it was NOT GOOD. Bottom line, I do NOT want my daughter in the same class with that girl. However, I know that Mrs. Clark is the best teacher for Lindsey and I don't think it's necessarily right for me to request that Fran be moved - she's not my child. So, I don't know exactly what to do. I think I'm going to email Mrs. Bolte and request she call me so we can discuss it and come up with an action plan together. I just don't want Lindsey to get used to this class and then be moved. And, I'm so excited for her about this school year because she finally has the opportunity to have a NORMAL year - she hasn't been sick since her surgery and I'm really pleased with her speech progress.
I realized when I got home that I'm really quite somber this evening. Maybe I'm just tired - or tense, not sure. I SO wish the massage therapist was available right now - my back is in knots. My meeting ran long, so I didn't get my workout in. I think I'm going to go meditate or something while the girls are in their bath. Maybe do that CORE workout thing.. that might be good.
~~~
Ok, I obviously don't have meditation down. Someone told me once that the reason Yoga's cool is because it hurts so much you can't think of anything else. Maybe I've never done Yoga correctly, because it's never really hurt that badly for me - but, the concept of blocking out all thoughts is appealing - and one I haven't conquered yet. BUT, tonight was the season premiere of Weeds; which, as we all know, I'm hopelessly addicted. Seriously, that is one 30-minute period where I can space the world out effortlessly. And the season opener was AWESOME! I was cracking up at parts of it - I love dry humor. Next episode looks like it's going to be better than this one was, though. Definately a bright spot in my day.
Although, the best moment of the day came after Weeds when I was sitting in the living room singing to myself. Natalie came down; she couldn't sleep. So, I made her some hot chocolate and while we were waiting for it, we danced around in the kitchen while I sang to her. She likes it when I sing her jazz. I'm telling you, it's moments like that ... that's what life's about. It's all about the little things.
Well, I guess I'm signing off for the evening (unless I hit some sort of ephiphany at 3am that I just can't wait to blog until tomorrow). I made myself a hot drink, too... I'm hoping I can trick myself into going to sleep. 4:30 is going to roll around pretty early tomorrow and I've got a big day - gotta get the girls going for school. I hope everyone else is climbing into their own beds with a smile like the one I have pasted on my face right now. Night all.
Or wait, do I mean frantic? Today's been nuts and I'm loving it! I love fast-paced week-days... like the hustle and bustle of industry. Have several searches that require my immediate attention and did some work for it over the weekend that's paying off in spades today. Yes, I do feel like the next American Bad-ass when I can have two new candidates that are 100ead-on matches submitted to a position I just received on Friday.
I've got to finish up 2 PTA plans of work before 5:45 so I can get them to Jennie (the PTA president) when I pick up the disposable cameras to pass out to all the teachers. I've taken on the responsiblity of Yearbook Chair this year for the PTA and acquired the Sponsorship Chair responsibility yesterday by default. No big; I'm good with multi-tasking and I've got delegating down pat over the last few weeks. The kids get to meet their teachers today - I'm SO excited for them!
I really want to fit in a good workout today. Just have some unresolved tension I'd like to burn out. Wonder if I'll get the time, though.... maybe I can sneak out early if my 2:15 meeting doesn't run too late???
~~~~
Ok, so we met the teachers. I did get the Plans of Work done, the volunteer hours logged, and the cameras put in the right hands. Now, we were about 30 cameras short, but hey -it's a start!ÃI'll see if Target will donate some tomorrow. Natalie has Lindsey's second grade teacher - she'll be good for her, keep her challenged. And, of course, Natalie is everybody's friend - she had at least 5 "best friends" that made it into class with her this year. She's too funny for words.ÃLindsey was given what appears to be an excellent teacher, but there's a snag ('cause you know, perfection would be too much to ask for!): Fran is in Lindsey's class.ÃFran is a little girl that literally tortured Lindsey in 2nd grade. I requested for them to not be in the same class last year and honestly, mostly forgot about her. But this girl is pure evil in a child form. She'd tell Lindsey that she couldn't wait for her to die, so maybe she (Fran) should kill her herself and that she was looking forward to Lindsey's funeral so she (Fran) could spit in her grave. Seriously, that's deranged junk to be coming out of a child under 10. Lindsey would come home freaked out - and honestly, while I told her to ignore it, I don't completely blame her. She (Fran) told the other kids she'd beat them up if they played with Lindsey - it was NOT GOOD. Bottom line, I do NOT want my daughter in the same class with that girl. However, I know that Mrs. Clark is the best teacher for Lindsey and I don't think it's necessarily right for me to request that Fran be moved - she's not my child. So, I don't know exactly what to do. I think I'm going to email Mrs. Bolte and request she call me so we can discuss it and come up with an action plan together. I just don't want Lindsey to get used to this class and then be moved. And, I'm so excited for her about this school year because she finally has the opportunity to have a NORMAL year - she hasn't been sick since her surgery and I'm really pleased with her speech progress.
I realized when I got home that I'm really quite somber this evening. Maybe I'm just tired - or tense, not sure. I SO wish the massage therapist was available right now - my back is in knots. My meeting ran long, so I didn't get my workout in. I think I'm going to go meditate or something while the girls are in their bath. Maybe do that CORE workout thing.. that might be good.
~~~
Ok, I obviously don't have meditation down. Someone told me once that the reason Yoga's cool is because it hurts so much you can't think of anything else. Maybe I've never done Yoga correctly, because it's never really hurt that badly for me - but, the concept of blocking out all thoughts is appealing - and one I haven't conquered yet. BUT, tonight was the season premiere of Weeds; which, as we all know, I'm hopelessly addicted. Seriously, that is one 30-minute period where I can space the world out effortlessly. And the season opener was AWESOME! I was cracking up at parts of it - I love dry humor. Next episode looks like it's going to be better than this one was, though. Definately a bright spot in my day.
Although, the best moment of the day came after Weeds when I was sitting in the living room singing to myself. Natalie came down; she couldn't sleep. So, I made her some hot chocolate and while we were waiting for it, we danced around in the kitchen while I sang to her. She likes it when I sing her jazz. I'm telling you, it's moments like that ... that's what life's about. It's all about the little things.
Well, I guess I'm signing off for the evening (unless I hit some sort of ephiphany at 3am that I just can't wait to blog until tomorrow). I made myself a hot drink, too... I'm hoping I can trick myself into going to sleep. 4:30 is going to roll around pretty early tomorrow and I've got a big day - gotta get the girls going for school. I hope everyone else is climbing into their own beds with a smile like the one I have pasted on my face right now. Night all.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Myspace Migration: Weekend Blog
Not a whole lot planned for today, and I'm simply in a state of bliss over it. We might go to the art museum after church tomorrow, but today, we're chilling out.
I got sleep last night. I mean deep, dreamless, restful sleep. I was out early (before 11) and didn't wake up until 6 this morning. It was beautiful. This morning, Nati and I watched "The Goodbye Girl" on TV while I worked on my laptop. We had breakfast in bed (well, ok, she had breakfast, I had coffee). It was a lovely way to start the day, but she totally nailed me. Ok, this movie is a total chick flick in which the female lead has the tendancy to put up these emotional barriers, but really she's a sucker for romance. So, of course, my 7-year-old kid says rather poignantly, "Hey Mom - that's like you! You're like her!" Yeah, except I leave them rather than have them leave me. LOL Kids. That was a little too much inight for my taste, so I had her grab Legally Blonde. That's guaranteed to dumb down a room.
I am a closet romantic, though - but Shhhh... it's a secret. ;) So, have to think of something fabulously fun to do with the girls this weekend since it's their last weekend of freedom before they start school next week. Wish me luck!
~~~
So, I've been ditched. My kids have decided they'd rather play with their friends than hang out with silly, old Mom. Why, I can't even imagine... I LOOOOOVED hanging out with MY Mom when I was their age. Oh well, it'll give me time to do some laundry, gloat over the kick-butt candidate I landed while working this morning and try to find some burled walnut frames for the new photos for my bedroom. I'm going with pictures of places I've been/want to see.. and I think I want one of those antiqued, oversized, gold-leafed maps to put over the loveseat in the bedroom. I don't know, though - that feels more like an office piece. I need something smashing for over the loveseat, though - it's a huge blank wall waiting for my mark!
I wish I had something really cool to think about this morning, but I've had chick-flicks on in the background, so it's really chick-ish thoughts running through my head - nothing really worth ruminating on.
~~
I HAVE to go see the movie Trust the Man.. I guess I'm assuming it hasn't come out yet. I was doing laundry, flipping through channels and saw a "making of" segment (yes, I'm a geek, I really get into those). Anyway, the director was talking and it sounds like a great, smart-aleck-type-romantic-comedy. And, since I like laughing in theatres (really do not understand the concept of paying to see something that you know IN ADVANCE is going to bum you out - aren't movies supposed to be entertainment??) and I adore all things wise-arsed... I figured this is a must see. Plus, it's got Julianna Moore, whom I adore and David Duchoveny (sp?) who does nothing for me, but isn't dismal as an actor. Ok, just had to blog that so I wouldn't forget it later.
~~~
Sunday
My kids have no culture. How did I end up with un-cultured children? I know, don't say it - because I don't force it. I figure it'll come with age. Seriously, though; they just decided they'd rather go tomorrow after my meeting with Jeff and Steph. Which is cool, because Mom was griping about us going to the musuem without her. I don't really have the heart to tell her that I do that regularly, anyway. So, instead they're going to play with these kids that are moving after this weekend, and then this evening I'm going to take them to Glorias and Double Dip.
I had tortilla soup for breakfast this morning - nothing else sounded good. Watched "Failure to Launch" at 3am this morning - I think it's funny that every now and again I'll become cognisant of the fact that I literally cheer at the end of a romantic comedy. There's the compulsory "Yay!" that must be said when they get together. I'm such a girl.
I got sleep last night. I mean deep, dreamless, restful sleep. I was out early (before 11) and didn't wake up until 6 this morning. It was beautiful. This morning, Nati and I watched "The Goodbye Girl" on TV while I worked on my laptop. We had breakfast in bed (well, ok, she had breakfast, I had coffee). It was a lovely way to start the day, but she totally nailed me. Ok, this movie is a total chick flick in which the female lead has the tendancy to put up these emotional barriers, but really she's a sucker for romance. So, of course, my 7-year-old kid says rather poignantly, "Hey Mom - that's like you! You're like her!" Yeah, except I leave them rather than have them leave me. LOL Kids. That was a little too much inight for my taste, so I had her grab Legally Blonde. That's guaranteed to dumb down a room.
I am a closet romantic, though - but Shhhh... it's a secret. ;) So, have to think of something fabulously fun to do with the girls this weekend since it's their last weekend of freedom before they start school next week. Wish me luck!
~~~
So, I've been ditched. My kids have decided they'd rather play with their friends than hang out with silly, old Mom. Why, I can't even imagine... I LOOOOOVED hanging out with MY Mom when I was their age. Oh well, it'll give me time to do some laundry, gloat over the kick-butt candidate I landed while working this morning and try to find some burled walnut frames for the new photos for my bedroom. I'm going with pictures of places I've been/want to see.. and I think I want one of those antiqued, oversized, gold-leafed maps to put over the loveseat in the bedroom. I don't know, though - that feels more like an office piece. I need something smashing for over the loveseat, though - it's a huge blank wall waiting for my mark!
I wish I had something really cool to think about this morning, but I've had chick-flicks on in the background, so it's really chick-ish thoughts running through my head - nothing really worth ruminating on.
~~
I HAVE to go see the movie Trust the Man.. I guess I'm assuming it hasn't come out yet. I was doing laundry, flipping through channels and saw a "making of" segment (yes, I'm a geek, I really get into those). Anyway, the director was talking and it sounds like a great, smart-aleck-type-romantic-comedy. And, since I like laughing in theatres (really do not understand the concept of paying to see something that you know IN ADVANCE is going to bum you out - aren't movies supposed to be entertainment??) and I adore all things wise-arsed... I figured this is a must see. Plus, it's got Julianna Moore, whom I adore and David Duchoveny (sp?) who does nothing for me, but isn't dismal as an actor. Ok, just had to blog that so I wouldn't forget it later.
~~~
Sunday
My kids have no culture. How did I end up with un-cultured children? I know, don't say it - because I don't force it. I figure it'll come with age. Seriously, though; they just decided they'd rather go tomorrow after my meeting with Jeff and Steph. Which is cool, because Mom was griping about us going to the musuem without her. I don't really have the heart to tell her that I do that regularly, anyway. So, instead they're going to play with these kids that are moving after this weekend, and then this evening I'm going to take them to Glorias and Double Dip.
I had tortilla soup for breakfast this morning - nothing else sounded good. Watched "Failure to Launch" at 3am this morning - I think it's funny that every now and again I'll become cognisant of the fact that I literally cheer at the end of a romantic comedy. There's the compulsory "Yay!" that must be said when they get together. I'm such a girl.
Myspace Migration: Versions of Ourselves
Ok, I know I'm adding to the other blog this weekend to cut down on the number of entries. I also know there's half a dozen other things I could or should be doing, but all I really want to do is write. So, that's what I'm going to do...
I was reading Susan's blog - (and, for those of you who like blogging and enjoy reading blogs, you must check out Susan likes Bandwagon's blog.. it's awesome) and was reading her blog on conformity - I think it's titled Words of wisdom for the non-conformist. It's a great blog and she's right - it does have a lot of substance and provokes thought. What more can you ask for Susan? Ok, back on point (have you ever noticed I bunny-trail a lot? I can't decide if it's a by-product of A.D.D. or if there's so many thoughts running around in my head I can't keep track of them all): she mentioned versions of herself and that struck a chord with me that I wanted to expound upon.
How many different "versions" of ourselves do we have? Are they seperate entities, or are they woven together to create one whole of ourselves?
Shoot, wanted to delve further into this, but Dad's on his way to fix my computer - need to get stuff ready. Will do it later.
Ok, so Dad came, but my computer is not fixed and now my monitor settings are screwed up, too (not sure if that's Dad or the electrical storm, though). Before I logged back on, I watched the electrical storm on the porch with some Reisling and wrote more, so... Continuing on:
So, do we present completely different people or just different facets of the same person? One would have to argue that unless you are struggling with a psychological disorder that it really could not be completely different people. So, to that end, there must be a "core you" that is present at all times and different facets of your personality that you can then choose to present/display as situations dictate? Which, can appear to be different versions of you and is probably why two people can see the same person in a completely different light.
So, who am I at my core? What comprises the "core Crystal?" I guess, to find that answer, I have to look at the constants in the different "versions of me." What stays the same? I guess, no matter what situation I'm in, I want to excel. There is really no time where I don't want to win, achieve, succeed, am not competitive, and so on... I don't neccessarily always want to sacrifice someone else to get ahead (there are the rare occassions where I don't care/it's an acceptable consequence to the situation); but, I will say that being among the best is a constant to my personality and so is a core piece of me.
It would probably be fair to say that I am also cerebral - there is no version of myself presented where I am not thinking, trying to learn, or be intelligent. I can't do the "dumb blonde" thing (which is such a misnomer - the most gooberish person I know has black hair). I can be ditzy on occassion, but it's more like "foot in mouth" syndrome. Anyway, even when I'm having fun, I like being an intellectual. I am inquisitive, in some versions of myself, I like to question, in others, I like to explore. And, I think, at my core, I'm a fun person. Or, perhaps, a fun-seeker. No matter what part of my personality is showing, I'm looking for "fun" and to "have a good time." Maybe that's why I'm so keen on enjoying my job. Now, my ideal of "a good time" ranges from snuggling on the couch, to having a good conversation, to listening to music/playing chess, or bungee jumping, camping, riding little race cars, or a myriad of other things that I get a kick out of. Fun is important to me. I'm sure you are thinking, "Yeah, but for whom is it not?" Take a close listen to me sometime over the course of a day or two - you'll hear the word "fun" come up at least a dozen times or two.
Where it gets more murky for me is in the little things (and it's all about the little things, right?)... things like feelings and sense of adventure. I enjoy adventure and risk-taking, but there are areas of my life where I'm quite reserved and conservative. I enjoy people.. there are very few situations in which I enjoy being alone.. even when I'm hurt, I deep down want to have someone around me (usually specific someones) to comfort me/work through things with if I can let the wall down long enough to let them know that (As an aside, "the wall" and "the rules" are both topics I need to explore further, but I'm not sure if myspace is the right forum those particular by-products of my neurosis). But, I can turn off my feelings - I can be reserved, even callous towards others. I can block off what I feel for what I believe is right - and yes, those can be mutually exclusive. Is that normal?? But, the rub is that I don't really know if that's who I am at my core, or what I've become through conditioning as some sort of safety mechanism.
So, there's still probably more to say on this - but, my brain is a little worn out on this subject and I want to address different types of people and the kind of people we/I want in our/my lives/life. That's gotta be a different posting, I think.
I was reading Susan's blog - (and, for those of you who like blogging and enjoy reading blogs, you must check out Susan likes Bandwagon's blog.. it's awesome) and was reading her blog on conformity - I think it's titled Words of wisdom for the non-conformist. It's a great blog and she's right - it does have a lot of substance and provokes thought. What more can you ask for Susan? Ok, back on point (have you ever noticed I bunny-trail a lot? I can't decide if it's a by-product of A.D.D. or if there's so many thoughts running around in my head I can't keep track of them all): she mentioned versions of herself and that struck a chord with me that I wanted to expound upon.
How many different "versions" of ourselves do we have? Are they seperate entities, or are they woven together to create one whole of ourselves?
Shoot, wanted to delve further into this, but Dad's on his way to fix my computer - need to get stuff ready. Will do it later.
Ok, so Dad came, but my computer is not fixed and now my monitor settings are screwed up, too (not sure if that's Dad or the electrical storm, though). Before I logged back on, I watched the electrical storm on the porch with some Reisling and wrote more, so... Continuing on:
So, do we present completely different people or just different facets of the same person? One would have to argue that unless you are struggling with a psychological disorder that it really could not be completely different people. So, to that end, there must be a "core you" that is present at all times and different facets of your personality that you can then choose to present/display as situations dictate? Which, can appear to be different versions of you and is probably why two people can see the same person in a completely different light.
So, who am I at my core? What comprises the "core Crystal?" I guess, to find that answer, I have to look at the constants in the different "versions of me." What stays the same? I guess, no matter what situation I'm in, I want to excel. There is really no time where I don't want to win, achieve, succeed, am not competitive, and so on... I don't neccessarily always want to sacrifice someone else to get ahead (there are the rare occassions where I don't care/it's an acceptable consequence to the situation); but, I will say that being among the best is a constant to my personality and so is a core piece of me.
It would probably be fair to say that I am also cerebral - there is no version of myself presented where I am not thinking, trying to learn, or be intelligent. I can't do the "dumb blonde" thing (which is such a misnomer - the most gooberish person I know has black hair). I can be ditzy on occassion, but it's more like "foot in mouth" syndrome. Anyway, even when I'm having fun, I like being an intellectual. I am inquisitive, in some versions of myself, I like to question, in others, I like to explore. And, I think, at my core, I'm a fun person. Or, perhaps, a fun-seeker. No matter what part of my personality is showing, I'm looking for "fun" and to "have a good time." Maybe that's why I'm so keen on enjoying my job. Now, my ideal of "a good time" ranges from snuggling on the couch, to having a good conversation, to listening to music/playing chess, or bungee jumping, camping, riding little race cars, or a myriad of other things that I get a kick out of. Fun is important to me. I'm sure you are thinking, "Yeah, but for whom is it not?" Take a close listen to me sometime over the course of a day or two - you'll hear the word "fun" come up at least a dozen times or two.
Where it gets more murky for me is in the little things (and it's all about the little things, right?)... things like feelings and sense of adventure. I enjoy adventure and risk-taking, but there are areas of my life where I'm quite reserved and conservative. I enjoy people.. there are very few situations in which I enjoy being alone.. even when I'm hurt, I deep down want to have someone around me (usually specific someones) to comfort me/work through things with if I can let the wall down long enough to let them know that (As an aside, "the wall" and "the rules" are both topics I need to explore further, but I'm not sure if myspace is the right forum those particular by-products of my neurosis). But, I can turn off my feelings - I can be reserved, even callous towards others. I can block off what I feel for what I believe is right - and yes, those can be mutually exclusive. Is that normal?? But, the rub is that I don't really know if that's who I am at my core, or what I've become through conditioning as some sort of safety mechanism.
So, there's still probably more to say on this - but, my brain is a little worn out on this subject and I want to address different types of people and the kind of people we/I want in our/my lives/life. That's gotta be a different posting, I think.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)